M.P.J.D.

If anyone is in a jam, I have a great out for you. Now you'll only be able to use it for a limited time, so get good use out of it while you can. Ready for it? Well, here it is in one simple phrase... "My Pope Just Died." Big or small, this will get you out of anything.
For Instance, Let's just say you just plugged the toilet and all of your housemates are yelling at you. All you say is "My Pope Just Died." You are out of the jam. Now they would have to be some heartless demonic bastard cyborg programmed to be a real assface, not to let you slide a little for that.
Say it's a little heavier problem, like your boss comes to your workstation only to find that your are pissed up on Sparks, and there is a half-snorted line of pure Peruvian cocaine on your desk. What can you say to get out of that jam? "My Pope Just Died." Did somebody say promotion?
Now you're thinking, Hey Mindfuck, what if my problem is a little bigger. Like all of a sudden you get tapped on the shoulder by some man who says to you, "What in the hell are you doing with my bedridden, mentally handicapped, 15 year old daughter that involves you pants around your ankles?" And what is your response? That's right, "My Pope Just Died." All of a sudden you have yourself a trophy wife.
Here's the problem. I'm not Catholic. I'm Lutheran, and believe me, I've abused the piss out of "My Martin Luther Just Died." So folks, do what you will. Just keep that little "M.P.J.D." in your pocket.