Here's Something

Found here, but I'd suggest you goto the beginning and read from 1939-43, as 44-45 are kinda' super depressing.

Uh, the line you will be looking for is in bold...

Thousands of carrier pigeons accompanied the troops to Normandy on D-day and brought back essential details to Allied Headquarters in a capsule tied to their legs. A special loft was erected at the secret code deciphering centre at Bletchley Park. Considered vermin by many, these pigeons, were first used as early as the year 1150 AD and played an important part in both world wars. News of Wellington's victory at Waterloo first came by pigeon post. Many of these birds were specially bred in Belgium prior to 1939. Often used as a distress signal from downed aircraft, a pigeon named 'Winkie' escaped from a bomber after coming down in the English Channel in 1943. It flew back 120 miles to its base at RAF Leuchers in Scotland in time for rescue boats to reach and save the crew of the stricken bomber. Winkie was awarded the Dickin Medal (the animal version of the Victoria Cross) the first pigeon to be awarded with the medallion. Many of these pigeons were dropped by specially designed parachutes to be picked up by members of the French resistance. They were soon on their way back to Britain with Important information. At this time the Germans were training Falcons to intercept the pigeons while in flight and many were killed this way. In all, thirty-two animal VCs were awarded to pigeons during WW11, also awarded were 18 dogs, 3 horses and one cat, a pet on HMS Amethyst. Instituted by Mrs Maria Dickin MBE in 1943, founder of the People's Dispensary for Sick Animals (PDSA) a British veterinary charity, the Dickin Medal was awarded to any animal, bird or dog, displaying conspicuous gallantry during war.

However awesome this factoid is, I do agree with the 3rd sentence 1st statement..."Considered vermin by many..." I am certainly one of the many.

Mummy Smuggler

Now, I think you all know my stand on mummies - they are dangerous undead and all should be destroyed as fast as possible, whenever they are discovered.

I doubt you are all aware of my stand on smugglers - romantic rogues who live just outside the law, with a cloud of danger hanging over their heads.

When you combine the two - I'm not sure how I should feel - but I can't help but think if there's someone cooler than a smuggler, it's someone who smuggles mummies. (Not really much to the story 'cept for the headline)

Merry Fjuckin' and Happy Gjoddamn!

I'll be back after the X-mas thingiemabob.

In no particular order

Here is a mothafjuckin' beautiful car. Aston Martin DB4 GT Zagato

Here is the Messenger God. Lookit all the other stuff he's supposed to be god of.

Here is a clip of a dock crane unloading a container ship.

records

Over the break, I had a chance to view one of the crazier movies from the past called "Straight to Hell." It's an Alex Cox flick (same guy who did repo man and sid & nancy) and it stars Dick Rude, Joe Strummer and the Poges (as a band of coffee addict renegade outlaws.) In what is basically a punk-rock spaghetti western. It's crazy good fun, with about a billion cameos of random rad people like Grace Jones, Elvis Costello, Jim Jarmusch, and Dennis Hopper.

Anyhoo - when I was a younger lad, these were people I not only liked, but respected. There was a certain ethos in some of the old punk rockers, that I really wanted to embody. So I'm in my bed last night, thinkin about stuff, as you're want to do, kickin back in bed before a slumber, and the thought stuck me that nothing about writing is punk-rock. I thought about how writing is a conservative action, requiring thoughts captured in text which deprives them of some or perhaps most, of their intended meaning.

Then I found a couple of examples that broke that thought, like Burroughs, or Thompson, who really didn't write to make a "classic" but wrote stuff that had crazy energy. Then I remembered Henry Rollins having a nice interview talking about being inspired by writing, and wanting to be a writer, but all he could do was sing punk-rock. Finally, I just figured, all the old punk-rockers were performers. The problem with comparing writing to performing punk-rock, is you can't. Writing has no stage, it's capturing something for the record, on a page or on some pixels. If it's funny or inventive or mind-boggling, there's no interpretation besides the act of reading it.

You might hear a song on an elevator, and think "I like that!" And hunt it down after a little bit and put it on yer itunes. You'll never hear a passage read from the same elevator speakers, and then go hunt down a book. Our culture thrives on immediacy, and that leaves text behind pretty fast. But the written word isn't made for immediacy, (even tho that'd be nice) it's there for later. So I changed my tune a bit, (laying there in bed-as I was) and figured writing is just like any medium, it's infused with whatever energy you can put into it, and have it come out the other side.

The problem is, with punk rock performers, they get crowds of people cheering back at them when they lay down a classic that everybody loves. They get interviews, and sometimes movie roles, because they are performers. As a writer, there's none of that. Sometimes someone says a kind word, which you can choose to believe or not, and that's about it. I've found, mostly, the only way to really know where you stand is to take an actual writing class. Not only does this get you writing something new, but in reading other people's work, you can literally see how you stack up against the other people who want to be (or are) writers. That's about the tops in the "Glory Dept." for being a writer.

Doesn't mean it's not worth doing.

As Promised...Hamster Cannon

Unfortunately, the early test results turned out poorly for Mr. Cheeckpacker.



We are hoping reconstructive surgery will soon help him rejoin the ranks of my minions.

...A slight pause...

For a bit, the West Coast Branch of Fjord will be stepping down from it's perch on the cutting edge of the innernets, and finding a nice hammock somewhere.

I can't say eggsactly how long a vacation this will be, but I do know that by the time I get back, the boys down at the lab (with the help of Mr Cheeckpacker) will have perfected the hamster-cannon...and that, my friendly fjordlings, will be something to see.

As a follow up to the last post

I now command this guy,

and these two snadwich-artists.

I know it doesn't look like much, but an unstoppable army doesn't just pop up at the door of your Command Center...it has to be built - then forged in the heat of battle where fear gives way to bloodlust, and killing becomes as natural as breathing and...hey! Where the hell did my snadwich artists go? Little pansies - go ahead an run! Mister Cheekpacker and I can do the job without your cowardly - hey - what's this? Well, at least they left me something.

Command Center

It's only a command center if you actually command something from it.

Otherwise, it's just a room.

Here's some words...

Everyone who got where he is had to begin where he was.

-Richard L. Evans-

No Comment

found at this awesome joint

Sorry it's been a bit...

In one sense I've been very busy...in another sense, I've been very lazy. I'm sure you know that those two are often the polar opposite of each other, but in some cases they can (and do) co-exist. I wanted to letcha know about this really cool National Geographic piece about the universe a couple of days ago - but something was wonky with my browser (or blogger) and I couldn't cut-n-paste or make with the linky, so...it wasn't like I was trying. Today, I couldn't even find the story on their site (well played NatGeo). Fortunately, I was able to find this which'll give ya the deets. But here's the gyst...
THERE ARE STRUCTURES OUTSIDE OUR VISIBLE UNIVERSE THAT ARE SUCKING MATTER TOWARDS THEM IN GIANT RIVERS!

(did you here me?)

OUT OF OUR UNIVERSE!!!

(Call me paranoid, but I'm under the belief that we're going to need all the matter we can get our grubby little humanid mitts on before this thing is over. I for one will be happy to declare war on these "structures" outside our Universe in response to this aggression. Stealing matter is no...err, laughing matter when it belongs to you, and your universe. That's not the America I know. Hell, that's not even the Solar System I know! (Saturnites...I know we've had our differences, (like us always makin' fun of your giant gas sacks...that allow you to flourish -floating in your planet's craaazy atmosphere...hehe gas sacks) but we've always respected your planet's kick-ass rings. Besides we share the same sun, and the same Universe and we all want to keep that, right? So let's put away our differences about who made fun of what gas sack and go destroy these things sucking away our Universe!!!)

Anyhoo - I think at this time it's worth a quote from Bush the Elder...(and The Dude)
"This aggression will not stand!"

America Is Fucking Rad (again)

In March, I wrote this, and I added a little WWI flava to the thing from a quote from a diary of a British nurse that ended with this.

Then I heard an excited exclamation from a group of Sisters behind me, "Look! Look! Here are the Americans!"

I pressed forward with the others to watch the United States physically entering the War, so god-like, so magnificent, so splendidly unimpaired in comparison with the tired, nerve-wracked men of the British Army. So these were our deliverers at last, marching up the road to Camiers in the spring sunshine! ... The coming of relief made me realize all at once how long and how intolerable had been the tension, and with the knowledge that we were not, after all, defeated, I found myself beginning to cry.

Now, I think it's pretty obvious (for those of you who read this-here-webzine...if not - take my word for it) that I'm not a whacko nationalist, and in fact I believe that hubris is real, and the more powerful you are, the more careful you should be. These thoughts have clearly not been followed by my elected Representatives.

But anyhoo, I was chattin' with my pal Craig (myspace music page linky there) about the election, and we reached the conclusion that - not only was the USA totally schizophrenic having subjected the world to 8 yars of Bush, and then votin' in Obama (like how is anyone in any other country supposed to understand what we've really been up to all this time...I don't have a clue and I live here!) - but the last act proves that undeniably America is once again, Fucking Rad.

The last time we here in the US of A were really fuckin' rad was when we put a man on the moon. That was pretty damn rad. Since then it's been a slow spiral downwards into total un-rad-ness. But with this Obama thingiemabob - (a Frenchman told Craig on election eve, "He's the first black man (I know, he's half-white - it's the statement that counts) to be elected as a national leader in the history of Western civilization"

So, in scanning the internets today, there was such a crazy outpouring of support, joy, amazement and outright blown-minds from international news sources that it looks like we did it again...not just astound and inspire, but perhaps a return to the level of Space-Age-Rad.

I think it's obvious that this correspondent has been waiting for more than a while for the 21st century to actually show the fjuck up! It's almost as if the 1900's threw out a last desperation hand in 2000 to stop us from getting anywhere - but gjoddang it, the guy to break the ankle-lock, (the shackles, if you will) of the last century and take us into the future is...a black dude named Obama?

That's Space-Age-Rad.

America, fuck yeah.

Eh, why not...

IT's a great day for America everybody!

Been waiting a while to say that, but it really is.

**

Just saw this over at Warren Ellis' joint.

"I’m delighted. Nice work, America. You got your country back.

And just imagine: now, when you travel to Europe, you won’t have to tell people you’re from Canada."

Happy Halloween!

Hi...sorry about the racket in here...

(to turn it off you'll have to go down a post or two to the youtube doubler. I sort of want to take down that post, but there's another part of me that love it's horrible-ness sooooo much that I can't.)

Anyhoo - lemme talk politics for a sec.

I have this little observation...

The Republican party seems to constantly throw old dudes up for Presidential elections. Reagan, Bush (the elder), Dole, and McCain. Bush the younger was their one exception in 28 years. Now Reagan was the oldest serving President (I think he was 74 when he left office, but I'm not positive - just guessing at a factoid) but he was pretty spry when he ran against Carter waaay back in the day. But against Clinton, they ran Bob Dole, who was pretty dang old, and against Obama they're running McCain who's like 72. It almost seems as tho they throw up these dinosaurs because they know they're going to loose, and figure - "why not get rid of this old asshole who's been gumming up the works" in a blaze of destruction that is a loosing Presidential run. (seriously - loosing a Prez election is just about impossible to rebound from. lookit John Kerry...whatchoo doin' nowadays Senator?) I'm not sure if the Republicans do this as a deliberate strategy, or if it's just they do elevate their senior members to the top of their ticket as a reward for their service. However, it does seem when the Democrats field a vibrant and articulate candidate...it's against some ancient dude. I think it's weird.

I guess there might be something in my statement that might be age-ist...and yaknow what, good. You gotta be 35 to run for President of the USA and that's age-ist. Why not have a cap on how frikken old a person can be to run this joint. If yer 18, you can drive, vote, and are forced to register for (the/a) draft, can join the Army and die/kill for the country. (you cannot legally drink liquor - that's for 21 year-olds and over - punk-ass-sucka-kids!) But, you throw a 72 year old into some kind of "this is the world" test with an 18-year-old, would you put money on the 72-year-old passing with a better grade?

Wow - that last one really blew up the template

Anyhoo - quite an awful combination no?

I thought I had something to say, but after 10 minutes of trying to write it, I'm giving up. It wasn't that great of an idea anyways. I will give you something tho.

Vegas-Sized

I believe it would come in order like this:
Small-size
Medium-size
Large-size
Monster-size
Vegas-Size

(altho there could be some argument for a swap between monster and Vegas sized, I think it's pretty close...and after Vegas-sized, what's next, gargantuan? - that'd be my bet.)

1,140

For about the last year or so, I've contended that to make a super annoying band, you would just have to combine the bagpipes with a steel drum. Now, thru the glory of yoo tube, and the you tube doubler...we can see if my theory was correct!

***Update**

This post has been killed for the sainity of readers and the author

Distance = Rate x Time

Submitted for your approval...a couple of vids about racing cars.

Hypnotic in-car camera shot from a rally car.
(vid is 3:17 long)


A pretty nifty animation from the Singapore Grand Prix
(vid is 2:38)


(above found here, both thru darkroastedblend)

P.S. - Someone should tell the F1 folks that their on-line media presence is purtty lame.

Scale

I found this article that has a ton of super cool crap about an ancient archaeological find that dates to 11,000 years ago, which might be the world's first temple. Here's a savory quote:

Hodder is fascinated that Gobekli Tepe's pillar carvings are dominated not by edible prey like deer and cattle but by menacing creatures such as lions, spiders, snakes and scorpions. "It's a scary, fantastic world of nasty-looking beasts,"

What did I write back in June...hmmm thinkin' thinkin'...umm, can't remember exactly what I...ummm (opens new browser window, searches...ahhh yes, here it is!)

One of the great things about pre-history is that there is so very little to find out. What you see is what you get. The stuff that anyone finds in these places, regardless of sophisticated technological analysis, has been so reduced by time, that it's practically like analyzin' nature.

I find myself fascinated by the discovery of something super-ancient. But deep in my heart, I know most of the interpretations of said discoveries is total crap. I respect those who have a chunk of my (above) statement to heart when they're dealing with stuff from 11,000 B.C.

The gulf that separates us from Gobekli Tepe's builders is almost unimaginable. Indeed, though I stood among the looming megaliths eager to take in their meaning, they didn't speak to me. They were utterly foreign, placed there by people who saw the world in a way I will never comprehend. There are no sources to explain what the symbols might mean. Schmidt agrees. "We're 6,000 years before the invention of writing here," he says.

That's pretty good!

-anyhoo-

I have the impression that humans have a really, really, bad sense of scale when it comes to time. As an example, I'll give you this further quote to wrap your brain around.

"There's more time between Gobekli Tepe and the Sumerian clay tablets [etched in 3300 B.C.] than from Sumer to today,"

Got that?

Okay, cool. Now lemme give you another example. Good 'ole Shakespeare...yaknow, English playwright, Romeo and Juliet, Macbeth...possibly the greatest storyteller in the English language...that guy. When was the last time you saw a play of his performed? I say this because what tends to happen is the language is so foreign at first that it's nearly incomprehensible. However, the language becomes understandable in context with the situation and inflection and action, and by the end of a performance the resolution is totally comprehensible...perhaps even evoking an emotional response.

Yet, read the text of an actual Shakespeare play, and without the context of actors preforming them, and it's obvious the language has mutated and changed so much over the last 400 years that it's really hard for someone in the 21st Century to understand. Still, there is an institutional memory in the theater that perpetuates the context into comprehensibility for a current audience.

(actually, it would be interesting to compare the institutional memories of theater and government and determine which is more powerful...hmmm, potential doctoral thesis?)

Anyhoo - the idea I'm getting at is time and context. Using Shakespeare as a baseline for the change of words and meaning, 400 years...is practically a different world. It's not just the change in language, it's a change in everything. From kings to democracy, cavalry to fighter jets, Gutenberg's bible to the internet, that's what's changed in 400 years, everything.

The distance between now and 11,000 B.C. measured in 400 year increments is 32.5. A single 400 years pushes our understanding to the limit, and there's still another 31.5 to work back through to get to this place, where somebody found some carved rocks. See, scale.

Make your own crest

This place is kinda fun.

Super Fjuckin' Rad

(Vid is :35 seconds long)
According to the yootube poster giantaaron, the arms are 35 feet long, and the video was taken by a ROV from an oil platform at 7800 feet below the surface.

Heh, yeah.

Mebby you could help me come up with a swanky title?

(or perhaps vice-versa?)

Working on something...

It goes like this.

In the course of human affairs, eventually - and in no uncertain terms - each individual must realize that the totality of their existence can be defined down to one fact. They are simply, a super dumb organism.

Begin Transmission

Bang bang bang-bang-bang-bang-bang!




-End transmission-

There is a problem with being a writer and sitting at a computer

The problem is it's super-duper easy to not actually write.

(I hear your snickerings and choose to ignore them for the moment)

There's also a problem being a master web-surfer and a writer.
(I also hear those snickerings and also choose to ignore them for the moment)

There is nearly always something to be gained by reading the internets. Sometimes it's a few factoids or some amazing story that will make you the hit of the next party, sometimes it's an idea or concept that will drive your next post/essay/screenplay/novel. Most of the time it's random page flipping in a gargantuan magazine full of shit, that leaves you with practically nothing more than you began with...except a creeping feeling that the Snorg Tee's-T-shirt models(tm) might be a little too overexposed for just a small-time-internet T-shirt company's ad buy.

(who the fjuck owns them!?! Haynes? Calvin Clein!?! Fruit of the Loom?!? TELL MEEEEE!!!)

Anyhoo - Over the last two days I've been writing some stuff longhand on yellow pads, and I've noticed two things.

1) I can't click over to something that might be more interesting or better than what I'm doing.

2) My handwriting has really degenerated in the last year, and using an actual pen on wood-pulp-paper actually makes my fingers hurt.

But, I get a lot more written down that way. It's hard to stay on target when you can click over whenever you want to some fascinating post (like this one that boggled me on imaginary security.) Seriously, why not choose to let everybody else (at least somebody else) do it?

Answer - If you did that, you wouldn't be a person who made anything, ever. At the very worst, you'd just be a consumer, capable of only commenting on the pros and cons of the product you just/recently consumed. And seriously, where's the tombstone that has that carved in it?


P.S. I would like you to try and think of a landmass on the planet that beats a Fjord.

Here...have some words!

Strangle, gouge, club, sear, flay, slice, smack, shiv, grease, rend, fry, whip, impale, decapitate, slash, slap, punch, pierce.

There ya go!

William Gibson

"The limitation to what you can find on Youtube is basically your own imagination. When I think of something, if I don’t automatically think of searching for it on Youtube, I will never see it. When something comes to mind, I try to train myself to google it and then look on Youtube, often with the most amazing results. I think, in the end, if we just kind of run this technology out to its logical conclusion, we will end up with something like a single retina that covers the entire inner surface of a sphere, looking at itself, being quite self-sufficient, and made completely of Youtube videos."

(From here.)

I have a youtube channel, which is sadly void of any original content. It is my dream that it will be full of creative/astounding/hilarious/insightful things that people will crave. But I've yet to get off my ass and produce one single thing of my own.

Of course the important thing is I have a youtube channel.

WOW!

This will be right up your alley. It's craaazy.

Here's something

Read this totally mundane article about microbes or something, and then read the comment thread. It gets pretty funny.

First Recorded Death By Robot.

I give you...this guy.

Vaguely distracting

Finally found something!!!!

Course, you gots to sit thru a buncha stuff to see it.
Check in with 8:24 if you ain't got the time.

Bleg.

Ya. Was lookin' thru the innernets to find something vaguely distracting that would be super innerestin' and also bury the post below so I don't look like some kind of nutty-crackpot...but not one single thing showed up to fit the bill.

Sigh

Anyhoo -
A fella could sit around blaming everything on the lack of cool shit today on the internets, or he could man-up, and try his best to concoct something.

It's hot in L.A. - like stupid hot. I went out to run some errands a while ago and was like, "DANG, that shit is motherfuckin' hot!" In fact, it was the primary conversation starter to the five conversations I had today. In return I was given this bueno line...
"I wouldn't want to meet this heat in a dark alley."

Nope, you wouldn't. It's the kind of heat that would hit you over the head with a baseball bat, take your wallet, cell, and shoes, and then leave your walletless, cellless, shoeless body to sizzle on the alley blacktop until the coyotes were lured down in broad (heh-broad) daylight to feast at your own frikken Bar-B-Que!

I know! Gross!

Anywise, after I had discovered how brutally hot it was, I had to go to a job-fair where I was encouraged to "dress professionally." My Gjod, professionally, in 137 degree heat!?! Who the hell does that? I dressed appropriately, meaning by the time I got to said job-fair I hoped I hadn't sweated thru my (very light) dress pants and thru my t-shirt that was under my acceptably nice dress shirt.

The "Job Fair," as it turns out, was something resembling a horrible waste of time...and something I sure didn't need to change out of short-pants for. In fact, it was very much like this post. Then again, it's not like I ask you to make yourself presentable for my blog, nor do I ask you to leave the house in ungjodly heat!

Fjord 1,122
Job Fair 0

I wuz hopin'

***Update***

Bleg Here's another nice link to make you hate your world. End update!

That the last post would do the trick!

Serious...Fjord is about the most beautiful people on the internet having a good time and killing mummies, with death.

Sadly, I saw this and gots to drop it on yas.

(video is 29 min long...and not nice...but might be important.)
(Fortunately, the vids below this post will still make you feel better.)

Downer

Yeah, we've been in a small tailspin over here, (mebby with good reason)
but I think the kids from Blink might have a little upper that'll fix everything.



(oh, and I hope Travis is okey.)

Bonus Extra!

Landslide

this joint had it first.

Whachoo think of this?

A painting of the timeline of humanity.

Accurate? Or just another excuse to put a few sex scenes onto the innernets?

Fjord reports...you decide.

Remember me being pissed about that bailout thingamabob?

Well, maybe it wasn't so much me, as me posting the thoughts of the King of the Swamp People. (and man, as far as I can tell, that dude is pissed!)

So okay...here's the skinny. The U.S. congress just passed a 700 billion dollar bill to...well, I dunno what it does...supposedly it'll save all of the economy. All of it. Or at least that's what I was led to believe. Awesome. Everyone is totally fine now.

Except for maybe this. Incase you don't like reading the very lefty New York Times, or just long articles about the economy, here are a couple of munny quotes.

"The American International Group said on Friday that it had already drawn down $61 billion of the $85 billion emergency bridge loan it received from the Federal Reserve two weeks ago, an announcement that startled credit ratings agencies."

Like that? Howabout this?

"He said that in addition to using the $85 billion Fed loan, A.I.G. would be able to participate in the $700 billion bailout program signed into law by President Bush on Friday. The additional help from the Treasury might ease some of its financial burdens, Mr. Liddy said."

Soooo. Howabout that weather? I was thinkin about paintin' the Casa when things clear up and I can get a couple of day-laborers to...what?

Yeah, we gave 'em $85 billion dollars, and they're just about thru spending it. In ummm...two weeks. Luckily they can grab summore from the $700 billion bailout package da congress just passed!

But um, wait, that's just one company that's already spent nearly one seventh of the amount of the bailout package on their own in two weeks. And there's this which says, um, AIG made $6 billion in profits last year. Six! Six! SIX! This was a company they said was "Too big to fail!" "It's collapse will send shockwaves through the economy." I dunno what their numbers look like this year, but I'm guessing something like this $6 billion (profit) subtract $61 billion (spending on what I dunno, platinum-lined swimming pools?) = $-55 billion. I for one believe this is a business model that will only be sustainable for three, possibly four more years.

Look, in the time it takes them to tell you:

"This dire situation calls for stringent oversight and forward-looking restructuring to assure the proper course is taken and responsible and sensible financial decisions are implemented to assure the restoration of profitability and confidence in the marketplace!"

They already spent all the money.
They already spent all the money in ways that resemble nothing like what they just said. I mean seriously, $61 billion in two weeks? What the fjuck are they buying!?

Some random stuff

1) Wow - sorry about the last post...it's really, really, really long. I guess that's from too much heat (it's like 11-billion degreeze here) and too much beer. (is there really ever too much beer?)

2) Nutrabeer

3)Here's some awesome campaign news.

a) the Shatner-Hasselhoff campaign for prez.

b) the kerry-edwards platform. (click to make readable)

Meta

So here's the skinny.

I saw this about 8:45 and it gave me a shock. It's the first four pages of reddit.com - a user generated internet site, like digg. You might have noticed a few posts I've dropped here are from there. No biggie...I like it because it has one simple thing going for it, it loads faster on my compooter than digg. It's from the Wired guys, who I've also dropped a lot of posts from, 'cause I thought you might be interested. (There - fjuckin' disclaimer - onto the other stuff)

Anyhoo - the deal is, I'm an information junkie. (wow, big surprise, tell me more all mighty D.T.)
But this was 10-01-08, and something happened. Instead of a few submissions that were important, and a whole mess of "I made a star wars stormtrooper cake - here's how!" Throughout the day, there was less and less of the stupid shit you goto the internet for, and replaced by more and more important things. Like, say, what's happening with our (U.S.)economy, our money, and our politicians. It was almost an example of how an open-source information distribution system is supposed to work. When nothing important is going on, tell me a buncha' crazy crap that will distract me from whatever lame stuff I'm thinking about, and when some big thing is really, actually important, get me all the most relevant articles from people who know what their talking about.

I wasn't able to get screen grabs...so I just copied and pasted. But this was a pretty remarkable assortment of articles. Yeah, there's chaff in there, but some of it's still really fun chaff. It's just that when you scroll past it...(which you will, just catching random headlines) it becomes something greater than it had been. Do you want to educate yourself on this crisis? Well, here's a bunch of stuff to help. If not, keep scrolling cause there's other random internet stuff in there that'll make you say "cool!" or "awwww sooo cute" or "WTF!" (BTW it'll all be different tomorry) but this all showed up today instead of light-saber-boy.
(sorry there's no links, but you can search the interesting ones out yourself...it's the innernet after all. (Also sorry this is so stupidly long...))

9 Grand Loan At Less than Prime from WaMu=Credit Crisis? (oxdown.firedoglake.com)
submitted 7 minutes ago by jack_alexander to reddit.com

Report Shows White House Engineered U.S. Attorney Firings (nukesylo13.com)
submitted 7 minutes ago by IWS to reddit.com

Ok Americans, grab your ankles. Here it comes again, and this time it has extenders. (nytimes.com)
submitted 8 minutes ago by aussie_bob to reddit.com

Message to the World from the US: "Please help us!" (unknownnews.org)
submitted 8 minutes ago by cornelius99 to politics

$700,000,000,000 is Nothing Compared to the Billions a Day that Were Loaned to Wall Street Last Week Alone. This is a Real Eye Opener!!! Clearly, We Aren't Angry Enough!! (youtube.com)
The moment bride was arrested on her wedding day in swoop on illegal immigrants (news-mail.blogspot.com)
submitted 11 minutes ago by shahsameer282 to WTF

Sarah Palin... playing the flute for the 1984 Miss Alaska Pageant. WTF. (youtube.com)
submitted 11 minutes ago by dri3s to WTF

VP Debate Drinky Bingo - no one should have to watch the debates sober! (tikirobot.net)
submitted 11 minutes ago by rajbot to politics

Who else is really scared of a fixed election in McCain's favor? (self.politics)
submitted 6 hours ago by ddddbbbb to politics

Don't die, stay with me, damn it! [pic] (i36.tinypic.com)
submitted 7 hours ago by m4rc to pics

Click here to waste 2 hours of your day immediately! (fantasticcontraption.com)
submitted 9 hours ago by phipsi180 to technology

Homer tries to vote for Obama (youtube.com)
submitted 6 hours ago by hobgobbler to funny

CBS News: New Study Details Massive Voter Roll Purges Underway in At Least 19 States (bradblog.com)
submitted 13 hours ago by delkin to reddit.com

appears 222 times in the Reddit main page source. Whoever wrote the page, I feel your pain. (self.programming)
submitted 8 hours ago by ajrandall to programming

Bailout Passes in Senate (money.cnn.com)
submitted 2 hours ago by RyVal to Economics

New York Times in 1999 - Fannie Mae easing credit requirements on loans to minorities and low-income consumers; "May run into trouble in an economic downturn, prompting a government rescue." (query.nytimes.com)
submitted 13 hours ago by paperwasp to business

Dan Aykroyd has lost is fucking mind [VID] (crystalheadvodka.com)
submitted 4 hours ago by briandunning to WTF

Human genome sequencing costs fall again: $300 million in 2003, $1 million 2007, $60,000 beginning of 2008, $10,000 now and $5000 by the end of 2008. (nextbigfuture.com)
submitted 11 hours ago by contraco to science

Unbelievable: Sec. 503 [of new Bailout bill] "Exemption from excise tax for certain wooden arrows designed for use by children." (salon.com)
submitted 6 hours ago by gypsydoctor to business

youtube deleted the rick roll video :( (youtube.com)
submitted 23 hours ago by chaosmachine to WTF

"Things were getting worse and I couldn't take it anymore. It was then, in my biology class, that I became a legend." (ubersite.com)
submitted 13 hours ago by booc0mtaco to funny

Palin Finally REALLY blows an interview. 2:55 WTF MIND BLOWING (cbsnews.com)
submitted 4 hours ago by tch to politics

Ron Paul: Buying bad debt is the wrong solution (cnn.com)
submitted 10 hours ago by alecb to Economics

CNBC: "The Bill is very clear.... hundreds of billions of dollars are going bail out foreign investors...the bill has been carefully written to make sure that can happen". [60s VIDEO] (youtube.com)
submitted 11 hours ago by starbork to business

Sarah Palin Explains Why Women Should Be Forced To Bear Their Rapists' Babies [Couric Interview Video] (ca.youtube.com)
submitted 14 hours ago by tampico_rush to politics

The truth about airbrushing. Not cool. Click on "portfolio" and be amazed. (iwanexstudio.com)
submitted 9 hours ago by cargirl to WTF

The world's weirdest, craziest, and just plain strange wedding customs (eventective.com)
submitted 9 hours ago by socialexpert to WTF

iPhone Developer Program drops onerous NDA: Opens to book publishers, discussion forums, mailing lists, etc. (developer.apple.com)
submitted 12 hours ago by jimothy to programming

MADD boots paraplegic woman from Idaho state fair booth designed to scare people out of driving drunk, because her looks were "offensive." (disaboom.com)
submitted 4 hours ago by Saydrah to WTF

The $700 billion bailout bill has passed, 74-25 (hosted.ap.org)
submitted 2 hours ago by cLFlaVA to reddit.com

If you can name one news source you read, vote up. (self.politics)
submitted 2 hours ago by bumped to politics

Intelligent design: "childish ignorance" (guardian.co.uk)
submitted 13 hours ago by betajames to science

The Atlas of the Real World (telegraph.co.uk)
submitted 19 hours ago by cactushair to science

Clinton Praises Obama In Florida After Being Both Criticized And Mocked In Recent Days For His Tepid Enthusiasm For Obama (redgreenandblue.org)
submitted 10 minutes ago by jerryjamesstone to science

This country is doomed. It really is. These are the people who vote for our leaders, remember that. (cnn.com)
submitted 12 minutes ago by contrarian to reddit.com

Price of oil drops below $98 as economy forces Americans to drive less (independent.ie)
submitted 19 minutes ago by boo_radley to Economics

Steve Ballmer Tops List Of 25 Most Influential People On The Web (hitchrome.com)
submitted 13 minutes ago by robinbal to reddit.com

Obama’s Fishy $200 Million FEC may seek a formal investigation into the collection by the Obama for President campaign of more than $200 million in potentially illegal political donations (spectator.org)
submitted 13 minutes ago by MindVirus to politics

Wall Street crisis hits Main Street: job losses have jumped, auto sales are plunging, small businesses can't get credit and we're facing the largest municipal bankruptcy in U.S. history. (associatedcontent.com)
submitted 17 minutes ago by shedrin to business

McCain's Missed Opportunities (newstalkradiowhio.com)
submitted 16 minutes ago by boo_radley to politics

Geert Wilders (of 'Fitna' fame) speaks to the Hudson Institute 2008-09-25 on Europe's Muslim threat (amren.com)
submitted 15 minutes ago by spam_rocket to reddit.com

Shouldn't the people who have benefited the most from Wall Street excess, the wealthy, pay for the bailout! The Sanders Amendment would make that happen! (gopolitico.com)
submitted 4 hours ago by philasurfer to business

I just wanted to point out to young/new voters that you cannot wear your Obama shirt to the polling place, you will be turned away. Tell your friends. (dcist.com)
submitted 3 hours ago by Eschuk to politics

Into Centaurs? [PIC] (photobasement.com)
submitted 11 hours ago by jda06 to pics

Tree power might sound like a hippie battle cry, but scientists have literally tapped into the tiny electrical current carried in trees and created a company (dsc.discovery.com)
submitted 12 hours ago by noname99 to science

FUCK!!! (self.Economics)
submitted 1 hour ago by TaxExempt to Economics

From Many Years Ago.. Say what you want about Eminem... This video speaks volumes. (youtube.com)
submitted 6 hours ago by drpants to reddit.com

Self:Economics - Isn't the bailout bill just one giant subprime loan? (self.Economics)
submitted 10 hours ago by econ2econ to Economics

***Update***
I cut out a couple pages in the interest of not boring you to death.

So yeah...If you made it down all this way, there's a couple of good videos about cows in the next post. However, I would say, if you processed even 60% of the headlines from what you scrolled past...we've reached an interesting information tipping point. No?

Exhibits "S" & "T"

You'll have to trust me on this one...the intro, and V.O. are horrible. The video, not so bad.



Now...here's another, with less crap.

Really...Stay away from any and all Mummies!

Like this for instance.

Your munny quote:
"The BBC's Mark Duff, in Milan, says Oetzi has brought nothing but bad luck to many of those involved in his discovery.

Mr Simon died in a mountaineering accident in 2004, and six other people linked to the discovery in some way have died in apparently mysterious circumstances. "

I couldn't find a good clip

of the fire-hose fight scene from Transporter 2...so this'll have to do.

Okey - Just saw this chunka' politics

and thought it was awesome.

Since it kinda' trumps the ole' King in the post below...I'm just gonna give you the yooo-tube link rite here.

The King of the Swamp People, (once again) IS NOT PLEASED!

The Herald walks amidst the gathered mob who have been milling about for the last week DEMANDING that something be done about the financial crisis. The two trumpeters blow fourth regal notes on trumpets that look and sound similar to something you would expect at the beginning of a horse-race.

The Herald unfulrls a huge scroll, and proceeds to read.

"The King of the Swamp People (The Herald makes a sweeping gesture at the crowd, implying all are swamp people) declares a question to his subjects.

Why are you angry!? Why do you approach his palace (the Superdome) demanding justice? Why do you look for restitution from his merciful yet terrible and bloodthirsty wrath? When the one decree he made is STILL UNDONE! Did you not understand when he made his ONE decree, that it had farther-reaching results than merely decorating the walls of his palace with another head on a pike? No, the example of Kenneth Lay's corpse was to serve as a warning of the consequences of unchecked greed to ALL OTHER bastards who worship at the alter of their God MOO-LAAAH, who put their greed before anything else.


Instead, you did NOTHING! For more than TWO YEARS, the mighty KING OF ALL SWAMP PEOPLE has waited. Now, the consequence of your inaction is to now beg the King for help, for relief! If you had acted two years ago, THIS CRISIS OF FINANCIAL COLLAPSE would never have happened! If you expect the King to act in order to help you, the King expects you to finally, AT LONG LAST, COMPLETE THE VERY SIMPLE TASK OF HIS ONE DECREE!"

The Herald rolls up his scroll, gives a contemptuous sneer at the Swamp People, and walks away. The trumpeters, looking at the angry mob who just received this news, scurry after with much less dignity.






(**update** after reading the links it seems as tho the King has gotten better trumpeters. The author suggests merely that the King has not been idle)


(btw...here's the follow up post for the original decree)

5 million ways...

to kill a CEO.

The visuals are really nice in this one.

The pleasure of paying more for less

Okay - I promise this won't be about the current economic news...it'll be bigger AND BETTER!

(P.S. - does anyone think the "cracked" media player (from like 4 posts ago) is causing this page to load really slow? - might just be me, my innernets/compooter is terrible these days - but I'd be happy to hear anyone's thoughts)

Now then, back to business. (b2b would be a good text shortening, dontchathink?) So okey my lovely fjordinite readers, lemme pose you this question.

What holds it's value?

Like, in a natural disaster like the Tsunami, or Katrina, where whole metropolis or region-sized disasters wipe out all systems of power, transportation, supply - hell - civilization...water holds it's value. Food holds it's value. Guns and swords hold their value, for forcing those with water and food to give them up, or protecting your own food and water. Thas mothafjuckin' anarchy...and is quite a bit different than what I'm talking about.

But in a short-term catastrophe, priorities are different than in a longer-term breakdown like, say a full-on-global-economic depression.

I'm sayin' I've got, say, 3-grand in mutual funds that I know are going to be worth less and less in a global depression. However, in a depression, the water system will still (mostly) work, but maybe cash won't be worth much more than the paper it's printed on. So what holds it's value? Gold? Well, gold will always have some value, but gold will only be worth what the seller of goods will demand. Gold will loose it's value to local exchange rates.
(If you need a fork-lift palette of canned beans valued at $1,000.00 and have a 4 oz bar of gold valued at $4,000.00 and the guy with the beans says, okay - gimme the gold-bar for the palette or no deal, you give him the gold for the food you need, loosing $3,000.00 worth of other goods and services. (- Gold coins might be a better alternative, but same diff. in the overall market strategy.)


So, weapons seem like a good choice, have a lot of firearms on hand for trading for valuable things. A loaded Beretta is worth a lot of aspirin...hell, a ton of aspirin. But problematically, once you start trading weapons for stuff, the weapons you trade from your stockpile can be used against you. Especially once you're known as someone who has a lot of weapons. That trade exponentially increases your danger - so I think that has to be ruled out as a place to put your money now.

Strangely, I also don't think something as simple as massed amounts of canned food is a good investment either...since there may be a crash which really doesn't effect the food supply, or local production will be enough to supply demand with only shortages of imported grains/fruits/meat, and then you're left with a whole mess of practically valueless foodstuffs.

So what would hold value? In a long-term full-on-global economic depression that will hit in ways we haven't dealt with since the 1930's...yet different, as certain systems of supply we enjoy, won't be wiped out...but it's impossible to predict which ones will vanish.

So, what to buy with whatever capital you have left before the markets collapse...that will hold value in a depression...that won't spoil during a time in storage...and something you can store easily (in your house or apartment), something you can break up into negotiated units per-local market value - and also something with which you can influence your own local market-price for, and something that won't make you an overt target for more violent groups that will certainly operate with an underfunded (and easily corrupted) law-enforcement authority?

Wow, tough one.

My guess? Booze, or medicine.

Both can be stored easily, and broken into tradeable (sp?) units.

A bottle of whisky can be used to purify a lot of water, (which could be a problem) used medicinally (say before (or after) an ad-hock surgery) or just for forgetting how crappy life is at the moment and to have a good time. It's also going to be worth more as supply grows thin, and it will, pretty quick.

A bottle of Tylenol is probably going to still be found in lots of places, but it'll be worth 50-100 bucks at least, in stores that can stock it and still take cash. Yet it would be super valuable to people with limited access to any form of healthcare. Toothaches, headaches, backaches, inflamed joints, fever -these are going to be rampant. A few pills could getcha a couple days food - easy.

Both, which might not end up all that scarce, (heck could be the only things getting thru) but they could still be traded under market value for other tangible goods. Now, you know I'm just guessin' here, and I know there's a buncha stuff I haven't considered, but more than a few fortunes have been made in an economic breakdown. I'm really just wondering - if I take all the money I have in every account and buy something that would truly hold it's value, what would it be?

So then...

Why did the LHC break down?

(not saying it's this, but it's innerestin')

Okey - Okey...yer right...

enough with alllllll that. Instead I present this palate cleanser.

Fountains for all!

Haha! I wuz talkin' about deleting the internet...

Turns out, I shoulda' been talking about deleting YOUR MONEY!

Hahahaha! No, seriously, I'm sure we're all going to be fine.
(if, in the near fjuture Fjord stops transmitting, we are not fine...everyone is totally fjucked)

(do not quit your day-job)
Anywise, here's a jont you can peruse if you want to get a little better take on what's going down.

Well now...

I start typin' stuff about deleting the internet, and this shows up on my compooter screen.



Astonishing? Coincidence? Probly not.

Howabout some sprinkles on your new

85-billion dollar insurance company? Turns out, the USA might have gotten their mitts on a real-live English football team!

Politics...yarrrg

I only wanted to link to this because of a fantastic idea it brought up. (you have to get to the end before it appears...or just skip to the last paragraph.)

Q: Is it possible to just delete the internet?
A: Shit yeah it is.

I've flogged this idea more than a few times here...the internet is not a magazine, it's not a show, it's not an archive for everything humanity has created. (altho it is all those things)

The internet is just a signal. The biggest money making signal that anyone has ever concocted because it has EVERYTHING on it.

Some might claim it's too big to fail. I'd claim there are a few fingers that could hit a few power-buttons on a few uber-powerful servers, and it's all gone. You tune into static enough times, you move on to a different channel.

Not that I'm buyin' stock in newspapers or anything, I'm just pushin' a little idea...

Don't Forget

Today's Talk Like A Pirate Day...

to rip a quote from me, 10 days ago...

I say, nay shout..."ARRR! SET THE CONTRRROLLS FOR THE HEART OF ALL SUBATOMIC MATTERRRRR!"
(Then adjusting eyepatch)
"Rolllll out the guns!
Hoist the Jolly Rrrrodger!
Preparrr to plundarrr the riches of quantummm spaaace!"

(edited slightly for enhanced pirate vernacular)

Couple O' Long Videos to Occupy Yer Precious Time

Clifford Stoll. I dunno who he is, but it's interesting. (Vid is 17:50 long)

Here's Jon Stewart with Tony Blair (Vid is like 21:00 long)

(Both from reddit - which is a great place to waste yer time on smaller things too.)

Denial, Faith, Hope, Belief

Riddle me this. What is the difference?

Okey...so I wuz over at Rhino's joint, makin a comment about a par-tic-u-lar-ly though provokin' piece. (very beeee-careful, this post ain't fer the faint-o-heart, nor those lookin fer internet time-passin - it'll mean something) and I found myself writin' this, and realized I shouldn't take up comment space fer it. In fact, it's been something on my brain for a long while. And It's at least post-size, so here I am. This is the skinny - I was about to write, this:

"People often make a stink about being in "denial". Strangely, I think that's a word misinterpreted, instead of a weakness, it's laden with power. How else you gonna convince yerself you can achive more than you already have?"

Now, I dig this line is probly going to throw you in a different direction than I'm headin', so let's get a few things square before we move on.

Here's the wiki-dictionary's take on denial:
a person is faced with a fact that is too uncomfortable to accept and rejects it instead, insisting that it is not true despite what may be overwhelming evidence.

So, here's the same source's take on faith: (author's aside, not as easy to edit down-it's laden with religious meaning)
a belief in the trustworthiness of an idea.

And here's the same source describing hope:
a belief in a positive outcome related to events and circumstances in one's life. Hope implies a certain amount of despair, wanting, wishing, suffering or perseverance — i.e., believing that a better or positive outcome is possible even when there is some evidence to the contrary

Finally, here's the same source's definition of Belief:
Belief is the psychological state in which an individual holds a proposition or premise to be true.

(One more author's aside right here)
Well now, I'm going to say that these are definitions from wikipedia - which certainly can't be taken as "dictionary" or even "encyclopedia" based "facts," but I'm pretty sure there's been enough people who took exceptions (on many, many different interpretations) to the definition over the course of wikipedia's lifespan, to whittle these down to where they're at, and this is a consensus.
(end aside)

So - this brings me back to where I was at more than a number of years ago when I came up with the idea of the human condition being nothing more than some inherent power within each one of us that hears the alarm clock that knows - "Today will be better than yesterday." Now, I have no proof - or even personal speculation - that a mountain puma or grizzly bear doesn't wake up and think the exact same thing...but I do know how I've delt with a number of bad occurrances on bad days, which is something along the lines of "Forget about it. It will be better tomorrow." (it never works because of long-term memory, which I've talked about (just the 2nd and 3rd paragraphs 2 proove a point) before )

Yeah, so anyhoo - lemmy get back to denial, and give it a Fjord-edit just a bit, to this:
a person is faced with a fact and rejects it, despite evidence.

Oooh -quite negative! Boooo! Rejecting facts is for morons! Up with Faith, Hope and Belief! Down with Denial! Down with you, I say!

Ooop - hang on...

(of course you knew this was coming...it's Fjord after all)

Denial is the only one of these four words that does not have the word "belief" in it's actual definition. Also, the only word to have any negative connotation. Yet, belief is simply - the psychological state in which an individual holds a proposition or premise to be true - with or without evidence. If yer still with me, then it's obvious that Hope and Faith hang their hats on the same peg that Denial does.

Will you wake up tomorry and:

A) Deny the evidence to the contrary, and make it a better day?

B) have Faith that tomorrow will become better than yesterday?

C) Hope that you can do better today than yesterday?

D) Believe that whatever's next will be better than what came before?

This last bit could have been written different, sure. Mebby you can do better.

(bring it, I'd love to be challenged on this)

Yet, which answer is the most pro-active in our reality? Seems to me more than a few people who pump up faith and hope and belief are stuck in denial. Same gravitational vortex here with thoughts and words...interesting the meaning each one carries with it, no?

Which one gets you out of bed?

Well, I, for one, wish you all to wake up tomorrow in massive denial.

-Tsunami-

000oh, that last one was 1,100!

Keeping the hits rolling...

this one's a sweet-arsed animation bit.

The Continuing..."Exhibit R!"

This should be an interesting lesson. Would you let a cow get away with this shit?

KANGOUROU (REMI GAILLARD)
by nqtv

Vikin Fjord News!

9 medieval ships found in Oslo.

munney quote...
"the find will help fill gaps in knowledge of vessels between Norwegian Viking ships of about 1,000 years ago and more modern vessels."

Awesome!

I been worried about that gap.

Waaaay more than I should be.