Just to letcha' know

The Big Boys are finally catching up to the Penis Shrinking story we broke last week!

Haha, no, not those Big Boys, I ment the Major League Media Demons, like this guy...

Well this sucks...

I'm gone for a few days and everything's busted.

Hurt my hand, tired as fjuck, got a nasty cough...and stuff

Things are just a wee bit tough at the Casa Aloha right now as I one-handedly type this. However, I did need to dial you into this.

(since it's yahoo news and their links always end up M.I.A. I'm putting up the thing for future generations.)

KINSHASA (Reuters) - Police in Congo have arrested 13 suspected sorcerers accused of using black magic to steal or shrink men's penises after a wave of panic and attempted lynchings triggered by the alleged witchcraft.

Reports of so-called penis snatching are not uncommon in West Africa, where belief in traditional religions and witchcraft remains widespread, and where ritual killings to obtain blood or body parts still occur.

Rumours of penis theft began circulating last week in Kinshasa, Democratic Republic of Congo's sprawling capital of some 8 million inhabitants. They quickly dominated radio call-in shows, with listeners advised to beware of fellow passengers in communal taxis wearing gold rings.

Purported victims, 14 of whom were also detained by police, claimed that sorcerers simply touched them to make their genitals shrink or disappear, in what some residents said was an attempt to extort cash with the promise of a cure.

"You just have to be accused of that, and people come after you. We've had a number of attempted lynchings. ... You see them covered in marks after being beaten," Kinshasa's police chief, Jean-Dieudonne Oleko, told Reuters on Tuesday.

Police arrested the accused sorcerers and their victims in an effort to avoid the sort of bloodshed seen in Ghana a decade ago, when 12 suspected penis snatchers were beaten to death by angry mobs. The 27 men have since been released.

"I'm tempted to say it's one huge joke," Oleko said.

"But when you try to tell the victims that their penises are still there, they tell you that it's become tiny or that they've become impotent. To that I tell them, 'How do you know if you haven't gone home and tried it'," he said.

Some Kinshasa residents accuse a separatist sect from nearby Bas-Congo province of being behind the witchcraft in revenge for a recent government crackdown on its members.

"It's real. Just yesterday here, there was a man who was a victim. We saw. What was left was tiny," said 29-year-old Alain Kalala, who sells phone credits near a Kinshasa police station.

I for one welcome this anti-sorcerer vigilanteism, and any civilian action that is pro-phallus. As it turns out, I'm not the only one. Please watch the following Reuters video, and be amazed.

Yeah, I been slackin'

But I have been doin' stuff that ain't quite blog material...perhaps you'll get a small glimpse if I'm feelin' feisty. However, I have also noticed that most of you don't give a rats ass, so I don't feel that bad about it. But I've got that feeling like you've clicked over to find something new and awesome, so I'm going to leave you with this.

This one don't got the best video quality - but it's soundtrack is superior to the other's I've watched.

And now some words from the Vandal-Set

Some amazing pictures over here.

And now some words from the Jet-Set

Here's a cool interview he did in 1963 that's worth reading.

And with the end of Taxing Day

We bring you this cool video about F1 Crashes!

Sand Pirates! Sand Smugglers!

This one's got nearly everything!

Checkin' in on sciency news

I guess this is a good thing. A few good hearted people are suing to stop the Large Hadron Collider! Why? Well, there's this...

But Walter L. Wagner and Luis Sancho contend that scientists at the European Center for Nuclear Research, or CERN, have played down the chances that the collider could produce, among other horrors, a tiny black hole, which, they say, could eat the Earth. Or it could spit out something called a “strangelet” that would convert our planet to a shrunken dense dead lump of something called “strange matter.”

Apart from that - everything's great!

Here's a good shirt

I Like it. Do you?

You can but it and others like it over here.

You can also read an awesome web-comic from it's creator, right here!

I'm not sure if this is worth your time

but John's beer drinking records is quite a dedicated work.

(P.S. - this and the last were nabbed from Look at this - which I've raved about before)

Some Stupendous Photos From the Land of Fjord

There's more awesome pics over here.
(With the promise of more...)

No Luv today, just taxes...

Now back to your regularly scheduled content.

930 don't mean I've all forgotten about 4/4

It might seem a bit shallow that I noticed the passing of 4/4 wid-out a mention. However, back in January of '08 I did pen this little diddy.

Anyhoo, I was scanning thru some second-tier blogs I try and frequent and found this little video I'm about to post up. There's something cool about it, because it says what needs to be said in a way that's constructive. It's all bad, no doubt - so you can feel free to skip it if you came here for some tjypical Fjordian content...there is a new Friday post up, that I think is pretty fun, but whateva', I'm past that today, and starting from Gjods clean slate. It's short, but purtty dang good. Oh yeah, it's also mothafjuckin' 40 years old.

Bee cjool to one another...it's about character.



That dude was also killed by a white man. Looking at this vid for the second time, I don't wanna leave ya with that, I'd rather leave ya with this...just a stupid speach by Bono accepting the NAACP's Chairman's award. You're probly one of the many who wrote that dude off in the 90's (like I did, then later, I did change my mind) but it's a pretty dang good thing to hear.
(P.S His first 30 seconds are drivel, no doubt. The venue is retarded, no doubt, but his words are pretty much no joke, and it get's pretty killa')



Anyhoo, I dig that this (small) post is purtty back-n-white. But that changes in no way, the retardo injustices which have been perpetrated on members of every nationality and race and ethnicity, and religion across our fair planet since we've been recording history in written words and organizing into civilizations which compete for...um...whatever civilizations compete violently for.

There is one struggle that we are all well aware of, that's to love or to hate. Hate requires no understanding, and no higher-level work...it's simply a movement (or emotion, or reaction, or what the fjuck ever) of subjugation, or destruction. It's easy and rewarding...and it easily rewards those who embrace it.

Love is usually the opposite...it is not easy. And the rewards for embracing it, cannot be measured in teevee time, fancy cars, a long life, and massive bank accounts. It's about connecting with people and reaching a common understanding. All sorts of fjucking people, all across the globe that you never thought or believed, you could ever find a single connection with, you could. You have it, (the connection) you are human. It's just motherfjuckin' hard work to filter thru the chaff to find it.

Here's a fun little tale

Full of nearly unexplainable shit. Checkit - it's an odd one.

Just A Friday Video Bonus!

If you don't read "Danger Room" (one of wired's mil-blogs) they've done a series of crazy posts about how to (in real life) stop a 600 foot cloverfield/godzilla monster, how to stop a terminator robot, and this last one how to survive a zombie apocalypse. (if you follow the last link, links to the other stories are at the bottom.) The comments are fjucking great and totally worth exploring...people have great real world ideas, even tho some get way too tech for a guy like me who don't know dick about ammo and military-type specs. Anyhoo from that post, I got this vid, which is exactly what you want from a "non-made-up-threat-to-your-gjoddang-immortal-soul...which you already know are the mummies."



Anyhoo - hopefully you've already armed yourself against the inevitable, and we can move on to more fun stuff. Like this song I heard the other day, and thought, what the fjuck is that song. Fortunately Fjord Borg came up with the answer.
(The vid might not be the keenest, but the audio is pretty right in the pocket)



And finally, this yummy little chunk of goodness from back in the day...

Got hops, big ups, mad handles, and other words and phrases I'd rather not ever hear again.

Friday was on the deck with the other weekdays, reposed in circularly arranged deck furniture. He reached over and grabbed the joint Thursday was passing. He took a hit, and settled back into his chair as smoke oozed its way into his lungs.

"I'm so fucking high." Said Wednesday to nobody in particular.

"There's a motherfjucking coyote in your yard." Said Monday, pointing down and across towards some topiaried shrubs, where there definitely was some kind of feral canine, looking back at them. Monday took the jay from Friday, had a hit and coughed a little while expressing his feelings in an unequivocal, "huh."

Tuesday spoke slowly. "I didn't even know I had a yard."

"Dogote." Said Wednesday. (It came out of his mouth like dog-o-tee)

"What?" Asked Friday.

"Dogote." Repeated Wednesday, "cross between a dog and a coyote."

"There's no such thing!" Thursday said while reaching for an iced tea, resting on a nearby wooden table.

"Sure is. Look it up on my Iphone!" Wednesday pulled his device from a pocket and handed it over, Thursday quickly scrolled to a web-page (which is here. Fjucking interactive Friday post mothafucka'!)

"Whaddayaknow...dogote! Well, I guess it's real, but how do you know that's a dogote?" He pointed out across the yard, but the dogote, or coyote, was nowhere to be seen. "Huh, it's gone."

"I just know it was." Said Wednesday leaning back in the cushions of the self-standing swinging chair he reposed in, closed his eyes, and proceeded to rock the chair with his legs.

"Wait a second," expressed Tuesday with confusion, "I don't have a yard, I have a condo with underground parking, a rooftop pool, and a heli-pad!"

Monday, who had been holding the joint and taking drags all this time looked up, and said to nobody in particular, "I'm so fucking high right now." He looked out of beet-red eyes, which were mere slits, across the rails of the deck and mentioned, "There's a coyote in your yard." He pointed to a grove of trees, where sure enough, some kind of feral canine was resting.

"Dogote." Wednesday said without opening his eyes.

"Seriously guys," began Tuesday, "and I am being totally serious, whose house is this?"

"Trickster God." Friday said.

"What?!" Replied Wednesday and Monday together.

"The Coyote...a Trickster God, in Native American mythos. Clever little fuck, got me more than a few times myself."

Thursday fucked around on the internet with the Iphone (he was still holding) and came up with this. He quickly responded to Friday.

"Sounds like a cool customer."

"Sure." Replied Friday, "lotsa fun. But let yer guard down for a second, and yer in the middle of Times Square in winter - with no clothes!"

"That's the Coyote, not a dogote, which is what is in your yard." Said Wednesday.

Tuesday was exasperated. "Seriously! I don't care if it's a coyote, the Coyote, or a dogote! It's not my yard and it's not my motherfjuckin' house!" He stood up, ready to head towards the sliding glass doors of the deck, into the house, and out onto the street.

"Be cool Tues.," Said Thursday, "It's my house." Tuesday stood for a moment weighing Thursday's words, then slowly sat down.

"I am so fjucking high right now." He said, and shook his head.

Monday began making a series of strangled sounds which the others looked over at. After a few seconds, it was clear he was laughing, but so hard the only sounds that came from his mouth were, "Chit, chit chit, chit..." This continued for a good two minutes. After a moment, he regained enough composure to wipe tears from his face. "Oh my gjod." Was all he was able to say, before cracking up again.

The others smiled like crazy at the display, and wanting to join in the fun, peppered him with "What's so funny?" until he was able to calm down enough to spit out, "Dogote!" He slapped his thigh, and finally reached out for his lemonade, had a sip, took a breath and said, "That is one fjucking funny word."

Happy Friday!

I knew I couldn't keep this a secret forever...

Yeah, by day I'm a mild mannered earth resort owner/operator, but those dang astronomers have released the first movie of Tsunami on the sun.

I can't get into exactly what I was up to on the sun, but lemme assure you, it was something really, really cool.

If yer up for reading something dense

This little post gives a few neat connections reagrding oil, and the war machine.

Hahaha! Teen Spirit!

I've often mentioned to anyone who would listen, that Nirvana is Led Zeppelin. Not so much that they are at all similar stylistically, musically, or lyrically...but as groups which drive radio (and jukebox) play. Music fans of both classic rock, and alt-rock will forget all sorts of sonic indignities thrust upon them as soon as Zeppelin or Nirvana come on the airwaves...it's bizarre. I happily quip, whenever Nirvana's on, that "I love Zeppelin!" And how much "I love Nirvana!" Whenever Zeppelin shows up.

People seem to get a little annoyed by my habit of doing this, but I am already (and clearly) a little annoyed myself. There were better bands, contemporaries of either one of these groups...and contemporaries which were commercially successful as well. Yet, they don't rank the continuous rotation that either of these groups do. Why? I dunno...I'm not really a "music industry insider," but it is what it is, I guess.

I do, however, think, it would be hard to find a Zeppelin song that Paul Anka could nail like this.

I'm so totally back!

And what do you get when I'm back? Why you get amazingly great things...like THE RETURN OF FAFBLOG!

(Quote the Tsunami)


"OhmigjodomygjodOOOOOhMiiiiieeeeGJOOOOD!"

If you don't know what I'm talkin' about, you can click over there, and then find -on the right side of the page- find the archives, and read some of the shit that's there. Fafblog was a total inspiration to a gargantuan number of fjordposts back in 05-06 (which you can find in the "archives" of Fjord - located to the lower left-hand side of this page).

I for one, welcome my return, and the amazingly great things I bring back with me. Don't you?


(Photo ganked from here)