Thursday, May 21, 2009

Lookin' at the news for the last three weeks

and it's hard to go anywhere without seeing "Torture!" "Gitmo!" "Enhanced Interrogations Techniques," and "My God If We Didn't Torture We Would All Be In A Smoking 9-11 Crater!"

I was gonna add my two cents, but after writing something, it made me feel dirty, and it made Fjord feel dirty...and besides, you can find people's opinions about it everywhere.


Instead, I'll tell ya the funny thing I thought about today. Remember Marky-Mark and the Funky Bunch? How funny would it be if you met a musician and their biggest accomplishment was being in "the Funky Bunch."

Wednesday, May 20, 2009

Question...

You've got a team of five writers at your disposal for 3 hours - what do you have them write?

Me...I'd be going for a story about cannibal robot zombies.

But that's just how I'm feeling right now.

Monday, May 18, 2009

Buggin Me

So there's this idea that mass transportation will be the solution and salvation of society. Build trains, and development will spring up around it...and everyone will use it, and it'll be great! We'll stop global warming, and utopia will follow.

But there is never a real discussion about what goes down on the street level of this kind of people mover. I've used public transportation in a bunch of cities, and love it. Sometimes it was out of necessity (like um, 5 years of no car, and building up capital here in L.A.) sometimes it was more practical. (beat downtown parking prices by 90% in Minneapolis) But all of this was also while I was a non-family man, just doing my thing. Most of the time, public transportation is nothing more than blank-space...like being at the laundra-mat. But sometimes public transportation drops you into a confined space with a super crazy person...like the dude in the wheelchair that had a knife and was pissed as fjuck and lashing around with it (I wrote about in '05 and I'm too lazy to look it up now.)

Anyways, as a fellow who can appreciate "the crazy" because it happens in cities everywhere, and for the most part, it's kind-of-free urban entertainment. I wonder how someone not versed in this particular human interaction (like the new train line just got to the suburb where a father and mother are excited about taking their newly turned 5-year-old to the new Disney movie) would be shaped by their first (or first family) mass transit experience.

Then what? Then they never ride the train again. The SUV is just safer for the family.

Not saying this is right...but literally all talk about mass-transportation, and all it's advantages ignores the problem of "human-mass." At least 1% of all humans are totally crazy.

Tuesday, May 12, 2009

2,000 Posts on this dinky landmass!

(9 years too late - but now we're Fjord2000!)

I been thinking about musicians and athletes - successful ones (of course) and wondering, why do they bother? Like, make enough money and be smart with it - why strive to be better? If you got 15 million bucks in the bank, and the bills are all paid, why not spend the rest of you life in the jacuzzi?

I guess there's something to be said about a person with financial means being more productive than people with less. Some sort of responsibility that leads them to keep going, and pressing the edge of the envelope. Maybe it's related to something else, like the desire to be the best, and has nothing to do with money at all.

Maybe it's got nothing to do with any of those reasons. I'm broke as fjuck, unfamous as hell, and still troglodyte'in around in the backwaters of blogger world. And yet, what would I be doing if I was rich as fjuck, famous as hell, and getting 370,000 hits a day...

Probly doing what I do every day...wondering what I should post about, wondering if it was entertaining enough. Altho I'd be happy to switch places with my opposite, in order to find out.

Yers,
Tsunami

Monday, May 11, 2009

What I would like right now

1) maid (preferrably not French, but dressed like one)
2) sweet, sweet income.
3) Off-street parking.
4) About 10 times the inspiration I have now.
5) That's it. I mean, I could go on about how I want to pilot the Goodyear blimp, or be travelling via flying boat through the tropical islands of the Coral Sea, or be smuggling illicit goods with a speedboat, or be planning my next cat-burglar heist, or be preparing to duel Dick Cheney over a matter of honor. But really, for now...right now, that's it.

Sunday, May 10, 2009

It's Been A Long Time Coming

But I've finally taken this FJORD

thing

MULTI-MEDIA!!!

For our first (and likely the last - at least for the near future) piece of original programming,

I give you

TANGENT!

(and thanks for watching Channel Fjord)


Friday, May 08, 2009

For no apparent reason

I was thinking about the D.C. Madam and why that story was so fishy. I mean, she was going to jail...okay - but suicide? That was waaaay to fishy, especially when she was basically threatening to reveal a buncha' govmt types who used her girls. All she had to do was last a couple years in the slammer - and she's got enough fame (or notoriety) that she's doing fine. I mean, are you under the impression that Heidi Fleiss was totally ruined after going to prison? Anyways...no apparent reason for thinking about this now.

Wolverine?

Nope - haven't seen it, and probably won't. From the trailers...I suspect it looks a lot like
this...(wolverine in 30 seconds)


Thursday, May 07, 2009

The Continuing...

Continues...visit here for an amazing kangaroo clip.

Tuesday, May 05, 2009

Gahhh! Finally Something Cool

It's almost like my innernet thingie has been broken as of late. I haven't found anything really cool in days...maybee weeks. However, here's a link to a flickr page that has an awesome movie of a ship going down a river. Really good.

Monday, May 04, 2009

Emu Flu, Hawk Flu...

Lemur Flu, Toad Flu, Sushi Flu...on and on it goes, until people just get bored and move on. Of course, nobody cares until the next outbreak!

Anyhoo - let's move on.

I ended up at the JPL's open house yesterday, and walked around looking at robot landers and space probes and tons of super-duper hi-tech space gear. The best part about this event is there are a whole mess of JPL people standing around by their mock-ups or whatever, and you can just walk right up and ask, 'What do you do?" Of course, they're all rocket-scientists who are like, "I operate the robot arm on the Phoenix Lander...finding water-ice was pretty cool." Or "I design sensor arrays for satellites that will find and analyze extra-solar planets."

The thing that stands out when you're talking to these people, is their job satisfaction is through the roof. I suppose it's not really surprising, when most of us go to work and someone's like, "You! File this stack of crap!" These people design spacecraft, build them, and shoot 'em off to distant planets. I'm envious...but I'm also bad at math.

Friday, May 01, 2009

Swine...you swine!

I've noticed the pork industry has switched the "swine flu" to Nu1U or somesuch "official" rebranding, but it's too late. How could anyone not call it "swine flu?" You can't help it, it's too great a title. I mean, I'm sure there was a N2IOB4 designation for avian bird flu, but nobody remembers anything but Bird Flu. Anyhoo - I've been playing a little game to try and come up with the next source of flu...I think the best one is Octopus Flu, but I know there are others.