I'm not going to tell ya how many times I've tried to reinvent myself this year.
I'm not going to tell ya how many times I've seen my hopes and dreams crushed into mush before I even had a chance to bring them to life, in the world of the 21st century.
I'm not going to begin to explain how the previous two statements are related to my own shortcomings...as I'm sure on some level we are - already relating.
So As I was strolling to my local sports bar to watch the football games today, I came up with a thought that went something like this.
CUT TO: PERSONAL AD # 346
IT READS
SF, slim, attractive, fit and fun, seeks SM 26-36 with no baggage.
Yeah. So whilst I'm walking down Hollywood Boulevard and thinking about that "no baggage" part, and I thought...the only way that anyone is ANYONE worth knowing, is because of the stuff they've been thru, and the stuff they carry out of those experiences.
I am literally unable to respond to such a statement like "no baggage." What the fjuck is that?!!? I am, in fact, nothing but a bunch of walking baggage, much like everyone else on the gjoddang planet.
There's nothing wrong with living thru something, and taking it with you forever. It says you're aware you're experiencing life as it happens, and taking something out of it, something that can change you forever. That's profound. No, really. It is.
But. There's also believing, on a night like tonight, that none of that matters. That tomorrow will be the beginning of something so amazing - such a clean break from everything you've lived through, and held on to, that all that baggage will be nothing but what it is...luggage from an outdated time.
Either way it works out for you, it's okay with yer pals at the WCB of Fjord.
Happy New Year.
P.S. 07's bringing it - are you?
Sunday, December 31, 2006
Saturday, December 30, 2006
It's a matter of honor...
Continuing our efforts to put the world in a more
Fjordian perspective...
By now you've heard/read/seen that Saddam was executed Saturday. As a follower of world events for the past...ooh I dunno, two decades, I have no real personal opinion on the matter. But there is one small, and overlooked item from 2002 that I think is relevant.
Saddam Challenges George Bush to a Duel.
"The American president should specify a group, and we will specify a group and choose neutral ground with Kofi Annan as referee and use one weapon with a president against a president, a vice-president against a vice-president, and a minister against a minister in a duel."
The White House responded
Mr Bush's spokesman Ari Fleischer rejected the idea saying, "there can be no serious response to an irresponsible statement like that".
Well, I could think of one serious response that would make for some AWESOME teevee.
Fjordian perspective...
By now you've heard/read/seen that Saddam was executed Saturday. As a follower of world events for the past...ooh I dunno, two decades, I have no real personal opinion on the matter. But there is one small, and overlooked item from 2002 that I think is relevant.
Saddam Challenges George Bush to a Duel.
"The American president should specify a group, and we will specify a group and choose neutral ground with Kofi Annan as referee and use one weapon with a president against a president, a vice-president against a vice-president, and a minister against a minister in a duel."
The White House responded
Mr Bush's spokesman Ari Fleischer rejected the idea saying, "there can be no serious response to an irresponsible statement like that".
Well, I could think of one serious response that would make for some AWESOME teevee.
Friday, December 29, 2006
For those of you like me...
without any definate plans for the New Years Weekend.
Buy 5 bottles of vinegar and try some of these.
Buy 5 bottles of vinegar and try some of these.
Thursday, December 28, 2006
I Come up with this one today
"I like my women like I like my coffee...
spilled all over my lap."
Anyone else hear Friday comin?
spilled all over my lap."
Anyone else hear Friday comin?
Wednesday, December 27, 2006
Gettin' Ready?!?
07's about ready to bring it. Are you?
Maybe you should listen to the Lady for a sec.
Maybe you should listen to the Lady for a sec.
Monday, December 25, 2006
Umm...
Yeah - so I know...yeah, yeah, yeah...
However...happy Chrjistmas.
(and '07 will be totally worth it.
I promise.)
-Tsunami-
However...happy Chrjistmas.
(and '07 will be totally worth it.
I promise.)
-Tsunami-
Friday, December 08, 2006
The Casa Aloha Never Sleeps!
"There's things you'll learn about yourself when you're about to smuggle three Keys of coke across the Tijuana Border crossing..." Friday said deliberately, "There's things you'll learn about yourself when you've been sitting on the couch for three days after you've watched every DVD in your collection, and are relying on your iTunes or network television to supply you with entertainment."
He made a dramatic gesture with his arm, which ended with him taking a washcloth off his head. He dipped it in a stainless steel bowl full of cold water. He squeezed it out, and put it back on his forehead, with a sigh. He was reclined on a very nice couch, and moved nothing but his arm with the action. The gathered weekdays shifted uncomfjortably. Tuesday said what they were all thinking.
"Friday, we've heard this before."
"Yeah," Said Friday, "But did you understand?"
Monday stood up, and walked to a cooler full of ice and beer. He grabbed one, noticing Wednesday throwing up his hand, tossed it to him, before grabbing one for himself.
"Sure." Thursday said, throwing his legs up on the coffee table. "We get it. You'll never know what your capable of until you do..." He dropped off, but the thought was picked up by Tuesday.
"You do something you've never done before. We fucking get it." Tuesday went to the cooler, grabbed a beer, and standing next to Monday cracked it and had a mighty gulp. Friday let out a groan as he made an effort to move himself into a sitting position.
"That's good." He said. "however..."
"However - what!?" Monday spit. "There's only so much of this we can take Friday. You're not Buddha! You're only recognized as an ENTITY on a single stupid (altho underappreciated) WEBZINE CALLED FJORD! I mean, c'mon man..."
Friday - sitting up, looked around the room filled with weekdays who were fed up with his words. As a being who was used to having things work out his way, it was reasonably unusual. He fought against the pain in his head for a few moments, and realized he could beat that. It was the other fight he was more interested in. He threw the cloth with passion (landing on Thursdays' outstretched left boot) across the table, and his eyes burned.
"You say you understand...but do you? I mean really?"
The gathered weekdays nodded, and took reassuring sips from cans of beer.
"Cause there's one thing knowing you can...and another saying you will. Willing yourself into doing something is a HELL OF A LOT DIFFERENT..." Friday realized he was clenching his fists, and yelling...and he shouldn't be taking this so personally. He dropped about six decibels, and repeated himself.
"Willing yourself to actually do something, and doing it, is a hell of a lot different than telling people, or thinking to yourself that you can do something."
He reached over the table, and grabbed a drink sitting there.
"And that's a fact." He took a sip, and locked eyes with Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday and Thursday.
"Fine." Said Thursday, reaching up and grabbing the washcloth off his boot, and throwing it back on the table. He reclined back in his chair and had a sip off his cocktail. "So what are you driving at?"
"Yeah!" Was echoed by the rest.
Friday stood up, and as he did, all traces of fatigue left his face...and he gave them a profile that could be etched in stone.
"Tonight, we're going to smuggle five live Kimodo Dragons through customs!"
Happy Friday!
He made a dramatic gesture with his arm, which ended with him taking a washcloth off his head. He dipped it in a stainless steel bowl full of cold water. He squeezed it out, and put it back on his forehead, with a sigh. He was reclined on a very nice couch, and moved nothing but his arm with the action. The gathered weekdays shifted uncomfjortably. Tuesday said what they were all thinking.
"Friday, we've heard this before."
"Yeah," Said Friday, "But did you understand?"
Monday stood up, and walked to a cooler full of ice and beer. He grabbed one, noticing Wednesday throwing up his hand, tossed it to him, before grabbing one for himself.
"Sure." Thursday said, throwing his legs up on the coffee table. "We get it. You'll never know what your capable of until you do..." He dropped off, but the thought was picked up by Tuesday.
"You do something you've never done before. We fucking get it." Tuesday went to the cooler, grabbed a beer, and standing next to Monday cracked it and had a mighty gulp. Friday let out a groan as he made an effort to move himself into a sitting position.
"That's good." He said. "however..."
"However - what!?" Monday spit. "There's only so much of this we can take Friday. You're not Buddha! You're only recognized as an ENTITY on a single stupid (altho underappreciated) WEBZINE CALLED FJORD! I mean, c'mon man..."
Friday - sitting up, looked around the room filled with weekdays who were fed up with his words. As a being who was used to having things work out his way, it was reasonably unusual. He fought against the pain in his head for a few moments, and realized he could beat that. It was the other fight he was more interested in. He threw the cloth with passion (landing on Thursdays' outstretched left boot) across the table, and his eyes burned.
"You say you understand...but do you? I mean really?"
The gathered weekdays nodded, and took reassuring sips from cans of beer.
"Cause there's one thing knowing you can...and another saying you will. Willing yourself into doing something is a HELL OF A LOT DIFFERENT..." Friday realized he was clenching his fists, and yelling...and he shouldn't be taking this so personally. He dropped about six decibels, and repeated himself.
"Willing yourself to actually do something, and doing it, is a hell of a lot different than telling people, or thinking to yourself that you can do something."
He reached over the table, and grabbed a drink sitting there.
"And that's a fact." He took a sip, and locked eyes with Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday and Thursday.
"Fine." Said Thursday, reaching up and grabbing the washcloth off his boot, and throwing it back on the table. He reclined back in his chair and had a sip off his cocktail. "So what are you driving at?"
"Yeah!" Was echoed by the rest.
Friday stood up, and as he did, all traces of fatigue left his face...and he gave them a profile that could be etched in stone.
"Tonight, we're going to smuggle five live Kimodo Dragons through customs!"
Happy Friday!
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