Nothing great here, but there is this mini innernet meme that was taken to a hilarious conclusion.
Go here. And if you don't know what it's dealing with, click on the link in the first sentence, you'll be up to speed in no time.
Saturday, February 28, 2009
Friday, February 27, 2009
Just a quick thought this mornin'
Are you more than occasionally surprised at how much Star-Wars crap there is on the internets?
I guess the larger question is, are you more than occasionally surprised at how many people there are with time on their hands to actually make all these pictures and movies and stuff.
Innernet Historians will look back on us and notice this trend. They will wonder what the fuck we were thinking.
Tuesday, February 24, 2009
Lingering over words...or, the New Deal!
So I was thinkin' about that last post, which yeah, was kinda' lame. Unfortunately, the concept for the post idea itself, was perfectly fine, and could have been awesome...if it had been fleshed out in more interesting ways.
Why wasn't it? Why didn't I?
What an interesting question, I'm glad you asked!
The answer is simply lingering over words. When I started that piece, I had a kernel of an idea that I was sure was going to evolve into something that had a ton more meaning than what I actually wrote on the internet for everyone and their sisters to read. But I didn't linger on the words, I just wanted something new on the front page of Fjord...something, anything. I should have just posted a link to a goofy story.
It's never spoken of much, but there's magic in words. Rarely do people talk about it, because it's so commonplace. But you hear about people who can't read, and what it means to them when they learn how to do it. It's always something that is a huge milestone in their lives, something they boast about, they are, for good reason, proud they can read.
Of course, for those of us who've been doing this reading thing since we were young, there's an awareness that words mean all sorts of things and often, they are wrapped around misleading ideas and information. As well, the utter ubiquity of words, makes a pretty cheap currency. And that, is why you get not-quite-fleshed out posts, and not-quite-fleshed-out news.
There's a reason that we are bigger consumers of information than broadcasters of it. How many times have you read a post or a news piece which taught you something new? It's rare, because it's hard. It's tricky. For the most part, you read stuff you already know. To make words mean something, you've got to spend time and effort, linger over them and not only put the magic of words together like a puzzle, but also feel where the words are taking you, and roll with it, with them. I could have taken the last post and made some connections of fighting aliens with Gaza, or Al-Qaida, or the bankers and traders that have been the enemy of Truth, Justice, and the American Way.
As I was writing it, I could feel the pull of the words wanting to get to those places, but I didn't linger over it. I didn't have the force of will to roll with the magic of the words that were spilling out from my keyboard, and follow them to a better (or bitter-er) conclusion. Why? Ah, there's the rub.
To that, I'll respond, I used to be a file clerk. When I was a file clerk, I used to come home day after day, and make words on this here webzine to prove to myself (and everybody) that I wasn't a fucking file clerk, that I was an INNERNET SUPERSTAR!
Then, I got laid-off, which I thought was the coolest thing ever. This was finally a reason for me to go out and grab a job I was worthy of. A full year later, and here I am, looking for anything that'll pay enough to cover rent. I didn't know it at the time, but I was one of the first victims of this here depression we're mucking around in right now.
Whether I'm an INNERNET SUPERSTAR or not, I'm pretty up-to-date on all the economic/political crap that's been going on, and that means billions of fresh dollars tossed around like words. Super Cheap Fjucking Words, and definitely words not lingered over. Unlike bankers, or trading houses, or A.I.G., I'm willing to work for money...I just keep waiting to see an offer where I get my grubby little hands on enough to keep the Casa Aloha running. That's less than 30-grand for a year, but we'll use that number to aid the maths. According to my calculator, the money I need is a tiny chunk that is 26,233,333% - of the lately passed stimulus bill of 787 billion dollars.
My fraction of the Federal Money that would keep this joint rolling, is so small that you'd have to multiply it by 26-million, two hundred thirty-three thousand, three hundred thirty-three. I keep looking for it, that money, on the job-boards on the innernet...but it's not there. All I see is my lousy clerk-skills being challenged by more and more laid-off people who have better looking resumes and skills on paper than I do.
*Alert!* Waah, waaah!
I know, I know, I'm complaining probably too much, and...to nobody but the giant vortex of the all-consuming webmonster.
But here's the fantastic post conclusion!!!
F.D.R. gave the U.S.A. the "New Deal" and as a fella who's already made a point about the magic of words in this piece, I think the words "new deal" were a pretty clever construction for a time when words were not quite as crazy everywhere as they are now. I don't think the term "new deal" means "I'm going to give you a great new deal on this car." I think the words mean, "I'm changing the deck, and I'm giving you a new hand."
We seen with brutal consequence, that the last deck was stacked against us.
Earlier, I wrote the words, "How many times have you read a post or a news piece which taught you something new?"
I'm not saying that I predicted any of this, but if you look up where The King of the Swamp People started getting pissed and started calling for heads on pikes, it wasn't just for show. It was the first moment that the curtain was torn back, and the truth revealed. (strangely, a truth we already knew, yeah?) And what happened? Nothing. The one man responsible for a 14-billion dollar theft, died in his vacation mansion in Colorado, still an un-imprisoned billionaire. There are plenty of humanids that took this lesson and ran with it. Their punishment now is a cash "bonus" that exceeds what most people make in a lifetime, and it's being paid for right now, with your bailout tax dollars.
I'm not telling you anything new. You already know all this.
Obama's been talking up our troubles for a while now..."there's nothing like this since the great depression" has slipped off his tongue more than a few times. And there's plenty of legit evidence to say he ain't just using his powerful rhetorical skills to get himself out of a political jam. It really does appear, that the entire global financial system is so fjucked that nobody-not even one solvent, still-super-productive country, will stop this downward slide.
We need a new deck.
We need a new hand.
We need a new game, with new rules.
It's obvious.
"What the fjuck," I would ask, "is he waiting for?"
The entire world is waiting for a new dealer, a new deck, and a new game. Be ballsy and go ahead and call it like it is. Who cares if you're recycling words that have rung thru the modern age - synonymous with prosperity.
It's time for a new deal.
***Update***
Seems like I'm not the only fella with his proverbial fingers on this zeitgeist. In fact, I apparently tapped into the thinking of the Prime Minister of England! Kickass. I'm sure a governmental consulting job is comin' just down the pike!
Why wasn't it? Why didn't I?
What an interesting question, I'm glad you asked!
The answer is simply lingering over words. When I started that piece, I had a kernel of an idea that I was sure was going to evolve into something that had a ton more meaning than what I actually wrote on the internet for everyone and their sisters to read. But I didn't linger on the words, I just wanted something new on the front page of Fjord...something, anything. I should have just posted a link to a goofy story.
It's never spoken of much, but there's magic in words. Rarely do people talk about it, because it's so commonplace. But you hear about people who can't read, and what it means to them when they learn how to do it. It's always something that is a huge milestone in their lives, something they boast about, they are, for good reason, proud they can read.
Of course, for those of us who've been doing this reading thing since we were young, there's an awareness that words mean all sorts of things and often, they are wrapped around misleading ideas and information. As well, the utter ubiquity of words, makes a pretty cheap currency. And that, is why you get not-quite-fleshed out posts, and not-quite-fleshed-out news.
There's a reason that we are bigger consumers of information than broadcasters of it. How many times have you read a post or a news piece which taught you something new? It's rare, because it's hard. It's tricky. For the most part, you read stuff you already know. To make words mean something, you've got to spend time and effort, linger over them and not only put the magic of words together like a puzzle, but also feel where the words are taking you, and roll with it, with them. I could have taken the last post and made some connections of fighting aliens with Gaza, or Al-Qaida, or the bankers and traders that have been the enemy of Truth, Justice, and the American Way.
As I was writing it, I could feel the pull of the words wanting to get to those places, but I didn't linger over it. I didn't have the force of will to roll with the magic of the words that were spilling out from my keyboard, and follow them to a better (or bitter-er) conclusion. Why? Ah, there's the rub.
To that, I'll respond, I used to be a file clerk. When I was a file clerk, I used to come home day after day, and make words on this here webzine to prove to myself (and everybody) that I wasn't a fucking file clerk, that I was an INNERNET SUPERSTAR!
Then, I got laid-off, which I thought was the coolest thing ever. This was finally a reason for me to go out and grab a job I was worthy of. A full year later, and here I am, looking for anything that'll pay enough to cover rent. I didn't know it at the time, but I was one of the first victims of this here depression we're mucking around in right now.
Whether I'm an INNERNET SUPERSTAR or not, I'm pretty up-to-date on all the economic/political crap that's been going on, and that means billions of fresh dollars tossed around like words. Super Cheap Fjucking Words, and definitely words not lingered over. Unlike bankers, or trading houses, or A.I.G., I'm willing to work for money...I just keep waiting to see an offer where I get my grubby little hands on enough to keep the Casa Aloha running. That's less than 30-grand for a year, but we'll use that number to aid the maths. According to my calculator, the money I need is a tiny chunk that is 26,233,333% - of the lately passed stimulus bill of 787 billion dollars.
My fraction of the Federal Money that would keep this joint rolling, is so small that you'd have to multiply it by 26-million, two hundred thirty-three thousand, three hundred thirty-three. I keep looking for it, that money, on the job-boards on the innernet...but it's not there. All I see is my lousy clerk-skills being challenged by more and more laid-off people who have better looking resumes and skills on paper than I do.
*Alert!* Waah, waaah!
I know, I know, I'm complaining probably too much, and...to nobody but the giant vortex of the all-consuming webmonster.
But here's the fantastic post conclusion!!!
F.D.R. gave the U.S.A. the "New Deal" and as a fella who's already made a point about the magic of words in this piece, I think the words "new deal" were a pretty clever construction for a time when words were not quite as crazy everywhere as they are now. I don't think the term "new deal" means "I'm going to give you a great new deal on this car." I think the words mean, "I'm changing the deck, and I'm giving you a new hand."
We seen with brutal consequence, that the last deck was stacked against us.
Earlier, I wrote the words, "How many times have you read a post or a news piece which taught you something new?"
I'm not saying that I predicted any of this, but if you look up where The King of the Swamp People started getting pissed and started calling for heads on pikes, it wasn't just for show. It was the first moment that the curtain was torn back, and the truth revealed. (strangely, a truth we already knew, yeah?) And what happened? Nothing. The one man responsible for a 14-billion dollar theft, died in his vacation mansion in Colorado, still an un-imprisoned billionaire. There are plenty of humanids that took this lesson and ran with it. Their punishment now is a cash "bonus" that exceeds what most people make in a lifetime, and it's being paid for right now, with your bailout tax dollars.
I'm not telling you anything new. You already know all this.
Obama's been talking up our troubles for a while now..."there's nothing like this since the great depression" has slipped off his tongue more than a few times. And there's plenty of legit evidence to say he ain't just using his powerful rhetorical skills to get himself out of a political jam. It really does appear, that the entire global financial system is so fjucked that nobody-not even one solvent, still-super-productive country, will stop this downward slide.
We need a new deck.
We need a new hand.
We need a new game, with new rules.
It's obvious.
"What the fjuck," I would ask, "is he waiting for?"
The entire world is waiting for a new dealer, a new deck, and a new game. Be ballsy and go ahead and call it like it is. Who cares if you're recycling words that have rung thru the modern age - synonymous with prosperity.
It's time for a new deal.
***Update***
Seems like I'm not the only fella with his proverbial fingers on this zeitgeist. In fact, I apparently tapped into the thinking of the Prime Minister of England! Kickass. I'm sure a governmental consulting job is comin' just down the pike!
Wednesday, February 18, 2009
So As I Was Killing Space Aliens
On one of the popular video games, I got to thinking about aliens. Now, just a day or so ago there was a news item that said our universe could have more than a billion earth-like planets. Then I figured, heck, lets say there is another race of bugs/rodents/deer that evolved into something that could travel the stars. Then what? Then comes the killing, that's what.
When you think about the old "We Come In Peace" line, it really never meant what the words say. And sooner or later some human would want something that the other race had (or vice versa) and then the shooting would start. I'm actually more interested in the economics of an inter-stellar war - that's curious. I think the space station has probably chewed up 1/2 to a trillion dollars, and it's just hangin' out in orbit. A fully functioning faster-than-light space battlecruiser? Is that like ten trillion? Well anyhoo - I'm just speculatin' here, but I really hope we don't find any aliens out there. It'd cost a fortune.
When you think about the old "We Come In Peace" line, it really never meant what the words say. And sooner or later some human would want something that the other race had (or vice versa) and then the shooting would start. I'm actually more interested in the economics of an inter-stellar war - that's curious. I think the space station has probably chewed up 1/2 to a trillion dollars, and it's just hangin' out in orbit. A fully functioning faster-than-light space battlecruiser? Is that like ten trillion? Well anyhoo - I'm just speculatin' here, but I really hope we don't find any aliens out there. It'd cost a fortune.
Monday, February 16, 2009
Productive?!?
"You there! What are you doing!?!"
"Uh, reading the internet."
"How is that possibly being productive?"
"It's making me a more informed member of society."
"And this is useful to our civilization how?"
"Well, when I'm in the bar, I can converse with people about the pressing issues of the day...or about kittens I have seen on youtube."
"Wait, what did you say?"
"I can converse with people about kittens..."
"No! Not that, that first part!"
"Uh...When I'm in the bar?"
"Yes! There! You are spending money and consuming, and contributing to the economy. That means jobs! That's productivity!"
"It is?"
"Great good job. Keep up the good work."
"Um, okay, I will. Thanks."
"No, thank you citizen, thank you."
"Uh, reading the internet."
"How is that possibly being productive?"
"It's making me a more informed member of society."
"And this is useful to our civilization how?"
"Well, when I'm in the bar, I can converse with people about the pressing issues of the day...or about kittens I have seen on youtube."
"Wait, what did you say?"
"I can converse with people about kittens..."
"No! Not that, that first part!"
"Uh...When I'm in the bar?"
"Yes! There! You are spending money and consuming, and contributing to the economy. That means jobs! That's productivity!"
"It is?"
"Great good job. Keep up the good work."
"Um, okay, I will. Thanks."
"No, thank you citizen, thank you."
Friday, February 13, 2009
Wait while I remove these leeches
Phrases you are likely to need in Borneo, to judge from a phrasebook distributed in 1966 by the Borneo Literature Bureau:
*Wait while I remove these leeches.
*I have been bitten by sand flies.
*There are too many rats.
*There are a lot of mosquitoes here.
*The cockroaches have eaten my shirt.
*Is this poisonous?
*This vomiting needs urgent treatment.
*I do not know what is wrong. You must take her to the clinic.
*Your eyes need treatment, or you will become blind.
Taken from this awesome joint. There are more there, I just grabbed some good ones.
*Wait while I remove these leeches.
*I have been bitten by sand flies.
*There are too many rats.
*There are a lot of mosquitoes here.
*The cockroaches have eaten my shirt.
*Is this poisonous?
*This vomiting needs urgent treatment.
*I do not know what is wrong. You must take her to the clinic.
*Your eyes need treatment, or you will become blind.
Taken from this awesome joint. There are more there, I just grabbed some good ones.
Thursday, February 12, 2009
Good News!
Yes-sir-ee bub (and bub-etts) good news!
Seems there's been nothing but gloom-an-doom on the horizon (and up close too) but it's time to take a minute to look at what's been underreported in your librul media these days. Such as, I've noticed no shortage of hot water! Also, I was just at the store and it's clear that cheese is just as plentiful as ever! Rockin' good news, I must say.
What else? You ask. Oh, um, I thought that would be enough. Hang on, there's more! I gots it over here somewhere in this stack o' papers.
*shuffle shuffle*
Err, okay, howabout, "Scientists determine atmosphere still breathable" Koool! Altho, I had noticed I'm not asphyxiating without their report. Let's see, no, not that, howabout...oooh! Here's one, "Cute Kittens Abound On You Tube." Fantastic, who doesn't like cute kittens? Man, the innernets are great huh? Oh, and here's one that says "New Concentrated Laundry Detergent Has 8x's The Cleaning Power Of Regular Laundry Detergent" Now, I'm under the impression that this might be a marketing ploy to sell you less soap for more money, but heck, if it's true that's EIGHT TIMES THE CLEANING POWER! That's modern living for yas, more convenience and more power in one small bottle.
So there ya go! Keep the chin up and all that...cause it could be worse!
Mummy Video
From the BBC - (which doesn't have an embed feature so you have to go here.)
I think the important line is "this is the kind of discovery that makes archaeologists go weak at the knees." Of course, it makes mummy killers, such as yours truly, seethe with rage.
I think the important line is "this is the kind of discovery that makes archaeologists go weak at the knees." Of course, it makes mummy killers, such as yours truly, seethe with rage.
Tuesday, February 10, 2009
That New Government Smell
Yeah - so while out with the bugs (mine, my compooters (lather, rinse, repeat)) a buncha stuff has briefly caught my attention, and then left like, well, like something not there anymore. One of the things I've been thinking about in a longer time frame has been torture of terrorist suspects. There's been plenty (more than plenty, overwhelming amounts) of evidence that says torture does not work. But there seems to be this pervasive argument about the "ticking time-bomb scenario" where a suspect is in custody - and has information that could stop an attack that could save thousands of lives. The argument is we need to be able to torture in this circumstance, and therefore we should not outlaw torture, because this one particular circumstance. (This particular question was raised in the confirmation hearings of our new C.I.A. Director)
What to do...what to do!?! Jimmy Terrorist is sitting there with the information, and the law has tied the hands of our noble protectors!
Now, I've read there hasn't actually ever been a case of this "ticking time-bomb scenario" happening, but that could just be the internet talking. I don't know. But the idea of this situation happening, and our agents doing nothing seems retarded. If you're charged with defending the country, and find out 5-million people are about to be gassed and you've got a member of the plot in custody - you do everything in your power to get that information and save 5-million people. You break the fjucking law. Then, once you've saved all these people, you take your lumps in a goddang court of law. If you think a jury of your peers will put you in jail for breaking the law to save millions of innocent civilians, you've underestimated the capacity for people and their judgement. C'mon, you're going to get a medal.
What to do...what to do!?! Jimmy Terrorist is sitting there with the information, and the law has tied the hands of our noble protectors!
Now, I've read there hasn't actually ever been a case of this "ticking time-bomb scenario" happening, but that could just be the internet talking. I don't know. But the idea of this situation happening, and our agents doing nothing seems retarded. If you're charged with defending the country, and find out 5-million people are about to be gassed and you've got a member of the plot in custody - you do everything in your power to get that information and save 5-million people. You break the fjucking law. Then, once you've saved all these people, you take your lumps in a goddang court of law. If you think a jury of your peers will put you in jail for breaking the law to save millions of innocent civilians, you've underestimated the capacity for people and their judgement. C'mon, you're going to get a medal.
Two Dozen Mummies Found
Frum Yahoo News...so here's a few words...
CAIRO – A storeroom housing about two dozen ancient Egyptian mummies has been unearthed inside a 2,600-year-old tomb during the latest round of excavations at the vast necropolis of Saqqara south of Cairo, archaeologists said Monday.
The "storeroom for mummies" dates back to 640 B.C. during the 26th Dynasty, which was Egypt's last independent kingdom before it was overthrown by a succession of foreign conquerors beginning with the Persians, Hawass said. But the tomb was discovered at an even older site in Saqqara that dates back to the 4,300-year-old 6th Dynasty, he said.
Most of the mummies are poorly preserved, and archeologists have yet to determine their identities or why so many were put in one room.
CAIRO – A storeroom housing about two dozen ancient Egyptian mummies has been unearthed inside a 2,600-year-old tomb during the latest round of excavations at the vast necropolis of Saqqara south of Cairo, archaeologists said Monday.
The "storeroom for mummies" dates back to 640 B.C. during the 26th Dynasty, which was Egypt's last independent kingdom before it was overthrown by a succession of foreign conquerors beginning with the Persians, Hawass said. But the tomb was discovered at an even older site in Saqqara that dates back to the 4,300-year-old 6th Dynasty, he said.
Most of the mummies are poorly preserved, and archeologists have yet to determine their identities or why so many were put in one room.
Economies collapsing, fires raging, riots, general stupidity everywhere...and what shows up? Yes, I am suggesting this is all part of their plan.
Monday, February 02, 2009
Huh...
Sooooo...um, yeah, turns out my physical body's anti-virus system was waaaaay better than my compooter's. Anywise I may be back, or I may not...it's hard to say at the moment.
But there is an interesting little idea that came to me while I was not updating this here awesome innernet landmass. It's that in no uncertain terms, blogging captures a moment. If I were to stop doing anything new here, it would be a moment that reaches from 2005 to 2009 - and I don't think that's a small thing...yet in the overall span of history 4 years is nothin. (a grain of sand tumbling thru the hourglass...yeah?) Still, it's a snapshot of ideas and thinkin' for far longer than anyone in their right mind should have. I've speculated here before about future internet historians digging thru dusty servers and cobweb-covered digital domains...
Anyway, one day, this joint will be one of those...just like every site on the internet. I mean, remember friendster? Once upon a time, that was a big deal. Now, who the hell sends you e-vites to become their friendster-friend? Will facebook follow? I dunno, but anywise, all I'm sayin' is one day Fjord will just stop. There won't be any fanfare, there won't be a long ramble about what it's meant, and how it's changed all of our lives, it will just stop. Like a photograph of a moment.
Then the spiders come...
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