Better late than never, I supposed.

So last (er...the weekend before the last) I went to see Tony Bennett. As you might remember I won a couple of seats, and was pretty dang happy about it. So, after finding a suitably awesome date, I found myself hurtling at a rapid pace towards the Kodak Theater.

Somehow the joint seems bigger during the Academy Awards, but it's still pretty pimp. When you stroll in, there's a great expanse of nice carpet, and at the end, a swank bar, the type that has bottles backlit on tall shelves. On the right is a wide curvey staircase that, to put it bluntly, made me feel like I was in a very glamorous 40's movie. The effect was capped by an upper level bar, that kind of drifted into view as I got to the top.

Anyways, since the show was the 10th Anniversary Celebration of the Mancini Institute, they had the Mancini Institute Orchestra step out, and they started with some number I'd never heard, while they showed a montage of Mancini video. After that they played the Pink Panther, which was pretty bad-assed.

Then they said some words.

Anyways, the Orchestra then did a medley of John Williams songs. Star Wars, Jaws, Superman, Indiana Jones...which was also pretty smashing. Then John Williams came out, and conducted something he'd written for Memoirs of a Geisha. I didn't know it.

Then they said some words.

However, what I caught was, "John Williams was Mancini's piano player when he wrote "Peter Gun" (Gunn? - anyways, I thought that was kinda' cool)

Then Bennett came out, along with a 4 piece combo, piano, bass, guitar and drums - who all really ripped. For a guy who's 79, Tony seemed to be pretty spry. He did some softshoe which was rad, and wasn't afraid to skat a bit on a couple of songs. He always pulled some great move at the end of each song, ending in a pose, or hand gesture that seemed pretty right-on at the time. As for selections, well, he did a bunch I can't name, but I totally loved "Stepping Out", and tho I'm not a huge fan, was happy to hear him sing "I Left My Heart In S.F."

After most of the set was over he commented about how much he loved the theater, and then had the sound guy kill all the amps, and set down his microphone. Then he walked up to the front of the stage with his guitar player - and he proceeded to sing "Fly Me to the Moon." That was the topper. He sounded great, even if it was really soft, he carried to the corners of the place.
Shortly after, he split, and came back for three separate rounds of applause, and that was that.

And now...[plans for Friday]

I'm not exactly saying it's over...

but it seems to be over.

"There are times..." Friday said while nimbly kicking a soccer ball up and juggling it with his feet. "That you get lost. Where you don't know what's coming next, and you're bored, and you have PLAN ZERO! It's just a thing. It happens to everyone." He kicked the ball high into the air, and headed it over to Thursday, who bounced it off his head, and proceeded to knock it around a bit.

"What do you mean?" Tuesday spoke, "Is that what happened to you?"

"Yeah! It's weird, no prospects, no contacts, no ideas...it's crazy man!" Said Friday, bending over a large Gatoraid cooler that was filled with savory margaritas, and he filled then drank a paper cup full, crumpled the cup, and threw it in the general direction of a trash barrel.

"So if I were to ask you," Began Wednesday, who then exclaimed "FUCK!" As Thursday passed the ball over. Wednesday lashed a foot out, and launched the ball high into the air. It seemed as tho Monday might have a chance. "What are we going to do tonight? You'd reply...?"

"Plan Zero."

Monday got under the ball, and trapped it off his chest, then he made it meander around his feet for a bit.

"It almost sounds like," Thursday said with a slow drawl, while pulling out a pack of smokes. He fired one up, and said while exhailing, "That Plan Zero is an actual plan."

Friday got another paper cup, and repeated his earlier performance. "Oh, believe me, it is! Now, all we have to do is get three tons of whipped cream, two helicopters, a mess of pastrami sandwiches on croissants, 500 banannas, and a bunch of "out of order" signs. That's just the start. The rest, we can get on the way!"

Happy Friday

Liars...thieves...

People, well, some people, appreciate a good swindle. (good word that, swindle)

Usually, those people are not the people that get swindled. They're the people who watch from the backside as it's happening, like a magic show. They snicker at the rube who fell for it, even though they would have fallen for the same thing. Like a game of three card Monte, it's tough to beat a guy who has all the cards.

The old saying, "can't cheat an honest man," was actually coined by the old con-men from back in the day...late 1800's, early 1900's. The way they operated back then was to hook a man with a sure thing. The sure thing was always something sketchy..."I know a guy who works at the track - he calls me when the race starts, and tells me who wins. The gambling den gets it's information by telegraph - there's a 2 minute delay between the time the race ends at the track, and the time the gambling house knows who won. We just walk up, place the bet, and it's easy money."

There's usually a small demonstration (or three or four) with low stakes, where the mark finds himself in the middle of a cash generating machine. An honest man, would have nothing to do with this, and even if he'd stuck around after a demonstration or two, he'd have some compunction against continuing. But a normal, greedy man would be hooked. That's when the con-man would say, "My guy's getting the can, he's loosing his job tomorrow. We've only got one more race where we can cash in. Get everything you can!" So the guy goes, invests his life savings into the sure thing, and sure enough, gets cleaned out.

I suppose that's where the real story is...if you're rootin' for the thieves, well, you'd now want to see what they spent their money on. Or if you felt sorry for the rube, I guess you'd want to see either 1) how he picked himself up from being ruined and became an honest man. Or 2) how he picked himself up from being ruined and hunted down the bastards that tricked him, and shot them all in the head. I obviously don't know much about anything, but I'm telling you this, I'd much rather see Bruce Willis in the starring role of #2.

1st Day of Summer

I walked through the big dirty city today. It was hot, and I was slimy...I should say covered with a layer of sweat, since I'm always slimy.

I went to a little far-away place I knew, and got a roast beef croissant sandwich, and ate it while reading about some rediculousness from the government in the latest New Yorker. I didn't much care about the article, there's always some crap you can read about the government, and you can find something every day. It doesn't change, I was just reading cause I don't like sitting and eating by myself.

I left the joint and asked for a light from a girl who was standing near the doorway. She fished out a sunglasses case, flicked it open, and pulled out a lighter. While she was opening it, I eyed her up like she was dessert. I didn't mean to, it just happened. I thanked her, and went on my way.

I strolled back, keeping to the side of the street that had the shadows, and wondered if anything interesting was going to happen today. Sometimes you go through the whole day in a city with 18 million people, and nothing at all happens. Maybe that's because I'm just not slimy enough.

You should probly watch this

It's pretty amazing

really.

It's not Mr. Scorpion, it's Mr. Scorpio, but don't call me that either. Call me Hank!

Might be the best boss ever.

From a hella good episode, I might add.

There's tons more to see over at my personal omniscience page.

The Fjordian Wold Cup

I'm pretty excited about the whole soccer thing - when I get a chance to watch. But apart from the crappy network coverage is giving - they're giving NONE to THIS!

Which is sad, cause I'd watch that too.

So now *shudders*

In the background, large creatures are circling over the remains of the week. Whatever it was, it was a BIG WEEK, since it took damn near two full months of real-time to get thu it. But here in the Fjords, one can hear the soft trickle of icy cold streams, and the wind blowing over soft yielding grasses. Not to mention the picture-esqe meeting of ocean and steep-walled valleys. Yes, things are all right here.

Over to the right, you might notice on the top of that large granite outcrop, a well built gazebo. Follow the stairs carved into the stone and you'll get right up there. What pleasures await you at the Fjordian Gazebo? Well, walk along the dark wood decking, and we'll start off with the huge pig on a spit, being spun over a fire-pit by two extremely Norse-looking dudes. That's going to be good later. Only ten paces away from that, and howabout the full bar? They only seem to have Scandinavian vodka, but that'll do in a pinch. (besides, it doesn't seem like they're charging for anything)

Past that, it seems there's a small casino with loaded dice and marked cards. It's hard to imagine how so many people could be winning without them. Past that, you'll see a small travel kiosk. Nothing too remarkable except they're flying people out of the Fjord (granted there's a long stairway down) on sweet flying boats to every destination on the planet for pennies on the dollar.

To the left, humungus television screens show various movies and relevant sporting events. (man this is getting to be a pretty big gazebo - huh?) Beyond that, a bunch of mechanics are working on specially designed hill-climbing motorcycles...come nine o'clock, there's going to be a race. It'll be great.

There's a stripper-pole exhibition at 10, and a limbo competition at 11, which'll be a ton of fun. Now, if you'll excuse me, I see Friday and his merry band of conversationalists, and I have to at least say "hello." So have fun, and don't be afraid to ask someone - anyone, where you might find something you might like. So, see ya. I gotta' scram.

Happy Friday

After all this time, you think I'm still joking around?

Now they're robbing banks!

Jackson, Miss. (AP) --

Jackson police have not said whether a suspect arrested Friday on firearms charges is the man who wore bandages like a mummy when he walked into a bank, jumped the counter, stuffed his clothes with money and escaped on foot.

Montaries Brooks, 26, of Jackson, was being questioned Friday night regarding the robbery and was charged as a convicted felon in possession of a firearm. He was being held Saturday in the Hinds County Detention Center.

Police arrested Brooks shortly before noon Friday at an apartment, where a SWAT team had converged shortly after the bank robbery. Sgt. Joseph Wade said the robber walked into the Trustmark Bank on Terry Road, wearing bandages about 10 a.m.

"He was fully bandaged," Wade said, including his face and arms. "The only things they could see were his eyes and lips. He asked a teller for help, then jumped over the counter and began taking money out of the drawer," Wade said.

The robber, who Wade said never showed a weapon, stuffed the money into his clothes and ran. Police would not disclose how much money was stolen.


Notice they didn't say that the suspect robber was a "man" or a "mummy" (probly in order to not cause a panic) In fact, they don't want to say if it's the mummy-robber they caught! And they also didn't mention (if they caught the actual mummy) why said mummy needed the cash in the first place. It's pretty damn suspicious.

I'd speculate the mummies need cash in order to:

1) Bribe potential (and foolish) humans to help them with their nefarious plans. (since inevitably helping mummies will lead to their downfall - either from those (like us) dedicated to eradicating mummies and their helpers everywhere, or by mummies themselves, who will surely suck their soul once their usefulness has expired.

2) Purchase weapons systems to defend themselves against my growing army of flamethrower-tanks, and my flamethrower-armed F.A.M.C's (Fjordian Anti-Mummy Corps - which you all know "corps" is pronounced KOR - right? Riiiight, I knew you knew that.)

Anyways, in case my forward-looking anti-mummy thinking has missed a mark or two, just be on high alert for the next few days/weeks/months...cause those insidious bastards might be up to something way bigger than what I/we've prepared for.

Thanks.
-Tsunami-

Wednesday Morning Robot Stuff

They're coming - err, sorta. (and sorta not work safe.)

This squidbot's pretty cool lookin'.

So, like, how much?

"How much for how much?"

"Yaknow, all night with the sexbot."

"You have to ask, it's too much."

APARTMENT ROCK

***Rare live appearance by APT.ROCK***
Set time is 11:00pm - 11:03pm. Right before Soho
Vamp. Witness history.


More than a few few people have criticized us for even thinking about performing a song, since our shtick is having no tunes whatsoever, and by default, being better than 94% of the bands that exist.

However...our pals Soho Vamp are soooo kickass that when they needed help, Apt. Rock couldn't say no.

So, if you happen to be in Los Angel-eeze tonight, swing by the Lava Lounge, and as the man says, "witness history."

YES!

Sometimes the world conspires to please me. There's really no other way to explain this.

I'm sure this is one of those links that will evaporate after not too long, so here's a taste...

A Missouri woman has been arrested for breaking into a dog breeder's home and beating her repeatedly over the head with a dead Chihuahua, local media reported.
(...)
When she got outside she started hitting the breeder on the head with the dead puppy, drawing the attention of a neighbour who called police.

You can get lost here

And you should.

I've found more than a few sites like this one, from various other locations. If anyone knows of others, lemme know.

There's nothing like

A sense of place.

I was reading a local rag in my local plaza, and came across an article that was an obituary for a local D.J. The quote that caught my attention ended with "[he had]...an undeniable L.A. based international swagger."

There's enough for anyone, anywhere, in everyone's daily life to never appreciate where their at - location wise - until you get to somewhere else, in which case you're instantly a representative of where you just came from.

It's not a matter of justification (altho sometimes it gets that way) tons of times "place" is just what works out thru circumstance. Having a "choice" of place is determined a lot more by economics than it is by personal desire or family gravity. (not to say those aren't super powerful attractions)

Still, every once in a while, it's nice to be reminded that there's something very important about the forces that bind you to a specific geographical location on a practically microscopic point on the planet. For some reason you're grounded right where you're at. Maybe it's cause you needed it, and maybe it's cause it needed you. Or maybe it's too complicated to answer. Either way, if you don't have a reason for being where you're at, find one. Since sooner or later, someone's going to ask, "Why are you there!?"

And most probly, the place that your at (in comparison with a bunch of others) doesn't really suck at all.

Happy Friday

So as I...

Sat around looking for things to blogger on about, I was listening to the better local college radio station their programming slid into their "post 6 o'clock" stuff which usually offers none of the good stuff, 'cept on Wednesdays where there's a show called "The Jazz Journey" which I'd usually shut down, but they have a nice intro-tune, and then the fella' usually plays stuff that's agreeable. Anyhoo, it turn out they have a couple of women on the show tonight - and those women turn out to be the daughters of Henry Mancini.

So I'm listening to some pretty groovy cocktail music while I'm still looking for things to write about, when I hear something in the background about Tony Bennett performing down the street from the Casa Aloha, which perks up my ears a little. Suddenly, the D.J. says, "Allright, I've talked to the lovely Mancini daughters, and we've come up with a question, that, if you can answer, you'll get tickets to the 10th Anniversary Party of the Mancini Institute, where Tony Bennett will be performing." One of the daughters gets on the mike, and asks, "What was the name of the cat in "Breakfast at Tiffany's?"

So I quick dial the number, and sure enough, (it being college radio and all) I get thru as the first caller. "KXLU." The D.J. speaks, which comes thru my phone receiver, and my radio at the same time.
"Hi!" I say, turning down my voice blaring out of my radio. "Was it CAT!?" I finish, which breaks everyone in the studio up, (as I guess they through it was hard) and after a moment or two, I'm getting my tickets reserved at will-call. After giving all my pertinent information, I hang up the phone and shout..."KICKASS!" Loud enough so the Casa rings with my triumph.

I've always wanted to see Tony Bennett...he's the last of the golden age of crooners that mingled with the likes of Sinatra, and he's still got pipes. (at least four years ago I thought so when I saw him perform on some cable deal) The cheap seats at this event are $62 bucks - which is way more than I'd ever pay to see anyone, seriously. So I guess to conclude, I'd like to take a line from a W.B. Cartoon and say...

"After all this time, things are finally starting to go my way."


'Course, that only leaves me with 10 days to find a date to a gala extravaganza. I imagine there will be more than a few misadventures while I try and make that one happen. If any are worth repeating, I'll be sure and let you know.

-Tsunami-

More Multi-Media!!!

Isn't this exciting?!? Pictures, and now VIDEO?

(trying to make up for writing slack-ittude, I'm sure.)

From our pals at We-Make-Money-Not-Art...which you should visit a ton.

CLONES!

There was a massive event over the weekend I wanted to touch on...

A RACE OF CLONES!!!!

It seems two clones from the same mule, ran a race...and both lost to a "normal." Which in my book is a good thing. I don't want rampant cloning going on, unless it's to provide my body with harvestable organs I'm rapidly killing with a hard living Hollywood lifestyle.

Finally - Some Pre-Event Robotic News.

Not through lack of trying, but I usually find out about these things the day of, or after they occur. But if you're looking for some real robotic destruction, get ye to San Jose.

SRL will be performing on August 11 in San Jose.








I've seen just one of SRL's *ahem* performances, (I mentioned it here)but it was staggeringly cool. If you wanna go, you should start saving now, cause it'll be worth it. Maybe by that time, we might have enough funding to send a correspondent to capture it for you Fjordlings. Maybe.

Perhaps some photos might sweeten the deal

Filed Under

Shoulda' Seen it Coming.

Now it's pets?

Christ. That's gonna be a lot more mummies.
Guess we should get a few more of these...






DAMN YOU MUMMY CATS! DAMN YOU TO HELL!

Rising Above Mediocrity

Anyone can destroy anything. Period.

Making something from nothing is a tad more difficult than they make it out to be. Ripping something apart, hell, we all know there are enough forces out there to bring things down by themselves. Make a concentrated effort to do it, and you've got entropy on your side. (wait long enough and the Golden Gate, the Empire State, and the Hoover Dam will be gone without doing anything) I wonder if that's the strongest thing about humanity - that realizing how much the universe really wants to rip things apart into their molecular components, that we keep on making buildings, and societies, and teevee, and music, and videogames.


I had a dream, it was one of those recurring ones where the same scene gets played out over and over, but a little longer each time. The characters were me, and a very cute girl done up in a witches outfit. We went thru the motions that we'd gone thru for the last five nights of the dream, and then, over a boiling cauldron of witches brew, she said, "So, do you know what I'm doing?" And I replied, "Either your here to cast a spell..." To which she walked away from the cauldron, and looked at me with the kind of look that made me feel good about ending a sentence with "..." "Or you're not really here." To which she replied, "That's right. I'm a ghost. I'm not really here."

Now everyone knows a person in a dream isn't quite real, but a dream ghost? C'mon, what the hell is that?!? Is someone now haunting my dreams with ghosts!?? Most likely, I'd say, since more than a few things have been out of equilibrium over the last couple of weeks. However, since "anyone can destroy anything. Period." I'd also like to suggest that perhaps the most dangerous destroyer of anything, might be yourself.



Happy Friday

Howdy.

Blogger's been a little touchy over the last couple of days, so I started a project I've long been putting off. Transcribing my notes.

It's a long and tedious process, since my "notes" are actually small and medium sized scraps of paper - often with numerous other things on them like "pay phone bill" or "get girlfriend" or 100 other more practical things I was supposed to do on the day I also jotted down something clever. It's not made any easier that sometimes those notes are ON phone bills, or scribbled inexplicably over passwords, e-mail addresses, or pictures of myself.

Before I get back to that, I'll just type down a few that are better than average.

6) Fucking Mutual Bank

21) Cringer

27) Prawns

39)Hey! Don’t bite your claws!

42) Harnessing the cleaning power of ants!

46) IT’S THE B-S-H!! The Bulgarian Submission Hold.

79) I’d rather watch Toyotathon

84) Never underestimate the maraca player. Ever.


Soooo, that's how I'm spending my glamorous Thursday nite. Yep...livin' the dream.