As you all well know...

This is no ordinary Thursday!
(various past, and very ordinary Thursdays shuffle their feet and try and look inconspicuous)

No gang, this is the Thursday where we anoint the Champions of the NBA!

Now, for those of you who are unfamiliar with sporting-events in general, it works like this. All teams in the National Basketball League play the "regular season" whereupon, at the end of the "regular season" the teams with the best records play each other in an elimination format, where at the end, only one team remains - and is called "champion."

Even though there are many leagues of basketball being played throughout the world, it is well known that the best basketball on the planet is played in the NBA. Because of this the champion of the NBA is by default, the "Champion of the World." Since we don't know of any othjer basketball playing species in the solar system, they are by default, "Champions of the Solar System!"
A quick look in the Websters dictionary defines "Champion" as "One who fights another for a cause; defender."

The point I'm trying to make, about why this is such an important Thursday, is that when the fearsome 6-headed, 4-armed 3-mouthed beings from (known only to the puny scientific minds of Earth as) the star system X-B47 (or any other residents of the 800-billion stars/galaxies/planets/nebulas and black holes that we have yet to explore - thanx alot NASA cutbacks!) arrive to plunder our solar system (and Earth) of it's precious and valuable resources...not to mention the tasty delicacy of human flesh! At least we have this one recourse.

"We'll play ya' for it!"
And so, on the intergalactic stage, the Champions of Earth will play the Champions of X-B47 in a Seven-Game Series for the fate of the Solar System! And hopefully, the rules of Intergalactic Basketball will dictate that if our champions somehow prevail over the fearsome 6-headed 4-armed 3-mouthed beings, that we can plunder their solar system!!!

That's why this is no ordinary Thursday. It might be that the champion crowned today, gets us a whole new solar system to plunder. GO TEAM!!!