Pet Shopping...

"You should have a pet." Says the Handsome Raccoon.
"What about this cute puppy?" I say.
"Nahh, too, umm, stupid. No offence Cute Puppy." Finishes the Handsome Raccoon.
"None taken." Says the Cute Puppy. We move on.

"You should have something that will help out around the home." Says Handsome Raccoon.
"Robots haven't really reached that stage, where, youknow, they're really practical. Plus they're super expensive."
"Sure." He replies behind his handsome black mask, "But you just pay once, then it's pretty cheap. But, I was thinking something more along the lines of a creature with hands."

"OH!" I say,
"Well, here are the monkeys." Says Handsome Raccoon, "They have opposible thumbs."
"I hate monkey's" I explain.
"Shhhh! Not so loud!"

"Sorry monkeys" I say through the large enclosure.
"No problem." Their alpha male rasps. "I don't much care for us monkeys either."

"Smarter than I thought." I continue.
"You're really not getting this, are you..." Handsome Raccoon says.
"No, I'm not really good at...umm...keeping things." I make finger quotes around "keeping things" as I say it. "I'm a bit too self-involved to care for something else."

"Then you're in luck." Handsome Raccoon looks up with his beady little eyes. "I'll do it."

"What? You?! Handsome Raccoon, would want to be my pet?"
"Well, I wouldn't say..." Now it's his turn to make quotes in the air with his little cute opposible paws, "want to be," and I also wouldn't use the word "pet." But, I could get to like the Casa Aloha...nice beds, great service, hot and cold running chicks..."

"It's a little more complicated than that..." I say.
"So what? Is it a deal?"

I ponder for a moment. Then come up with just the right idea.
"We'll try it out for a month. If it works, it's a deal. If not, no hard feelings."
"Deal" Says Handsome Raccoon.

And just like that, I got myself a new pet.

Happy Friday.