FJORDNEWS!!!!

Archaeologists in a combined effort with entertainmentologists have discovered the mummified remains of hundreds of movie stars buried deep under Hollywood, California. After excavating several long passageways beneath the Mann's Chinese Theater, this combined effort uncovered a colossal mosoleum filled with many crypts, each housing a mighty stone sarcophagus. Within - the gruesome remains of the greatest stars of their age.

"It seems to be a graveyard of stars," said Thom Hebridese, Entertainmentologist with the Access Hollywood Ancient Studies Department. "Starting with Valentino and ending with Bogart." Also buried along with the stars are their personal assistants, publicists, agents, and a vast array of their wealth in gold.

"Each individual crypt has enough wealth and objects d'art to rival an Egyptian pharaoh." Said Hebridese. The massive and well secreted mosoleum was adorned with a number of pictographs and cuneiform writing. It seems that nearly all the ancient movie stars believed in a faith far different from modern (or at the time...most) Americans. "The texts translate roughly to say, "unlike common people, we place our faith that the great god Anubis will guide our souls across the Lake Of Death to unimaginable paradise." This would account for their wealth, helpers and servants being buried along with them, so that they might help them maintain their "moviestar"status in the underworld, or world of the dead.

When asked why the stars would be buried with gold, and not the more convenient American Dollar (the strongest currency at the time) Sam Rayborn - econo-archeologist replied, "While
the dollar still remains an international currency to be reconed with, it has been well documented that the value of gold stays reasonably constant - even in the underworld."

It is not known whether this strange cult-like practice died out in the Golden Age of Hollywood, or if modern stars are all members, and still worship the Egyptian Sun God RA. The story is developing...