Need proof? How's this:
Yesterday here in NYC, it was a beautiful 60 degrees outside. Granted, that's not "Meet you on the other side of Satan's ballsack" beautiful, but it's definitely "The beginning temperature of your slow descent into Hell" beautiful and I'll take that. So, this morning I get up to face another day in cubeblivion and, as I always do, I flip on the morning news to get a look at the days weather. I see it's maintained a more than stomachable 51 degrees. Ok? You with me so far? Good, cuz it's about to get biblical all up in here. By 11:00, a mere TWO HOURS after I had gotten to work, it was blinding snow/sleeting out. Seriously, folks, it looked like a fucking psycho snow globe outside. As we speak, the wind is gusting up to 40 MPH and the temperature is now around 12 degrees. FOLKS, IT WAS 51 DEGREES 8 HOURS AGO!!!! 12 cockbending degrees?!?!? Are you kidding me?!?!?
Now, you may be saying to yourself, "Well, come on Q. The weather's unpredictable everywhere. This tale, although a tall glass of suck to be sure, certainly doesn't mean that Gjod hates the Eastern seaboard." To you who are saying that, let me offer further proof:
Gjod was seen running around Midtown this afternoon exposing himself to babies he would later eat. As he was sucking down one baby after another, he was screaming, "Where's your savoir NOW, bee-otches?!?! Wait'll they get a load of me in Maryland!!" Keep in mind he was yelling all of this whilst his mouth was full------OF BABIES!!!!
THAT'S stone cold, yo. Not "Spending the afterlife draped in Jesus' taint" cold, but it ranks up there......
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1 comment:
I'm wondering just exactly what Gjod did in Maryland...I'll bet THAT was a scene worth seeing!
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