It's the First Day I've Been Able to Post From Home, So Fuck It.....Here's One More......

My DSL is finally up and running, so to celebrate you're getting a dry, anal fistful of Q-Dog today....DEAL!

So, Mindfuck and I used to have parents. I say "used to," cuz within the past 8 years, they both passed on through separate cancer incidents. I'll tell you, the older you are when you become an orphan, the weirder it is to live in a foster home......

Anyway, both the parents had huge funerals. They were VERY famous among regular people. Both Irish/German descent, so A LOT of drinkers at those funerals. In point of fact, the only way the Funeral Directors could get us out of the place was by yelling, "Let's go folks! Gotta head out! Let's go! You don't have to go home, but you can't mourn here!"

Our dad was cremated and man, is THAT expensive! It occured to me then that cremation's really changed. It used to be about the burning......

Just so I don't leave you on what some could consider a "downer," I'll relate one last thing to you today. My girl got me this little book and romance kit for Valentine's Day. It's got a mini-book, sensual massage oil, mood candles and a "sexy dice game" in it. So, I'm looking at it this morning and I notice a warning on the bottom of it. The warning is, and I shit you not on this, "CHOKING HAZARD - Small parts. Not for children UNDER 3 YEARS!!!!!!!" (all caps on "under 3 yrs" and numerous exclamation points, mine). Like, fuck!! How in the name of Christ's Toenail Polish is a fucking two year old gonna learn the fucking tantalizing art of seduction now?!?!?!??!? I mean, folks, pretty much anything sensual is gonnna make a two year old choke.........sigh......

I swear, sometimes I hate this stupid fucking planet so much.........