West Coast Branch of Fjord Under Attack!

EXTRA-EXTRA

THE SCOOP FROM THE FJORD NEWSDESK!!!

This just in - - -
Dario Tsunami - Resort Owner and ace Writer for Fjord, was nearly
knifed today on a Los Angeles subway.

Investigator's puzzled...

Officer Barnaby, who was on the scene hours later was quoted as saying, "We don't know why anyone would want to attack Mr. Tsunami, who seems to have all the characteristics of a man you'd want as your friend or lover. However, this might be the result of anti-fjord factions. We are looking into every possible angle."

Mr. Tsunami was on his way to a business appointment, when he was apparently accosted by a knife wielding psycho in a wheelchair. While Mr. Tsunami was not hurt in the near-attack, said,

"That guy was fucking nuts! I can't believe I didn't have my sword-cane!"

Around 8:05 PST Tsunami boarded an eastbound train, and a stop later, the muttering maniac in a wheelchair, entered the car. Some stops later, (and after numerous rants and mumblings) the crazed psychotic was upset with the proximity of a man with a bicycle. He became violent, physically attacked the bicycle, and then pulled a knife from his pocket. Moments later the man began stabbing motions with his hands. However, nobody was injured.

When asked whether this was an attack based on hatred of Fjords, Mr. Tsunami replied in a hushed tone.

"There are many enemies of the Fjords, and since the investigation is still ongoing, I'm not going to confirm or deny that while slashing crazily with his knife he was shouting, "Death to the Fjords!""