Don't Think Twice

"We're on a time line here!" Shouted Friday.
"But I really, really have to go!" Said Tuesday.
Friday drove a very, very fast car through a long dark tunnel. It's headlights lit up the broken yellow stripes of the lane marker, which ripped into the rear-view mirror about as soon as they were illuminated.
"I don't have to remind you do I?" Friday shifted his fast car into overdrive. "Of the last time each of you wanted to stop?" The dash-lights revealed the faces of the weekdays looking like they'd rather be asked to eat a plate of slugs.

"Monday wanted some Slim-Jims, so we stopped. What did we get? War! Wednesday, you wanted to take a picture of the waterfall, what'd we get? Attacked by locusts, who had already eaten the "rolling fields of grain." Thursday wanted to stop at the Dinosaur Theme Park, what'd we find? A whole raving epidemic of the flesh-eating virus! We're only one horse away from the apocalypse! You know what that fucking horse carries? Do you? You stupid bastards!"

Friday shuts up as he looks down the road. Tuesday clamps his legs together and says, "Umm, the Antichrist?"

"Yer damn right the Antichrist!" Friday clicks on the C.D. player, which shuffles randomly through 8 C.D.'s in the trunk. It lands on "Highway to Hell."

"No Stop Signs, Speed Limits, No Body's Gonna Slow Me Down!"

Friday reaches under his seat, and fishes around through the various junk that had accumulated from their long road-trip. He grabs onto an empty plastic Gatoraid bottle, and hands it back. "Here, use this." He says without taking his eyes off the road. "I'm sure." He continues, "After the kind of week we've had, that the last thing we need to do is STOP FOR ANOTHER FUCKING WEEKDAY!"

Tuesday sighs, and unscrews the cap of the bottle. The sound of a zipper being dropped is heard, as he shields his actions from the rest with his back. The smell of piss fills the car, and power windows are activated. Wind shoots in and blows their clothes and hair.

"Hey, what's that?" Asks Thursday.

In the distance, the black of the tunnel is broken by a glowing arch. They speed towards it. From the back seat Tuesday lets out a satisfied, "Aaaahhhhhaaa!"
"Fuck," Wednesday says, "Put the fucking cap back on that." Tuesday does.

The car rips out of the tunnel, and spread out in front of them in a great lit-up panorama, is the City of Promise. Friday looks at his gauges, the gas is okay, temp is okay, oil is okay. "If we make it there without a hitch by Saturday, it should be all right." Tuesday throws the Gatoraid bottle out the window. "Fuck man," Friday shouts, "Didn't your mom tell you not to litter?!!"

Keep America (and the world) Beautiful!

Happy Friday