A Nightlight Follow-Up

We usually don't have the incidental information to follow up on our stories here at Fjord. I can only attribute this to our lack of staff, and the fact that the world and it's fjords are moving at such a high velocity that any follow-up is both practically impossible and mostly unnecessary, as the present will drive any past information into the media dirt from which it sprang.

However, today, as I was walking past the local homeless guy, he started shouting at me. Since he's usually a reasonable fellow that minds his own business and doesn't hit me up for change every time I see him (which would be every weekday, usually twice) he's gotten on my good side.

So I go over and he starts spouting off a bunch of stuff (and he must have taken a bad turn in the last week or so) I can't understand in a rapid stream...
"Huzzle fretzle Comanche drizzel quadzilla!"

I stood there with an interested look on my face, hoping he'd start making sense.

"Bizzle the Diddly Mist con carne..." He took a breath..."Those mushtakle zooropa people...Congress can't do nothin!" He was emphatic! "Umbasha Ganish, Down on the border with guns trying to stop the zirffle narff Kazakstan-Zimbabwe!!!"

I realized he was trying to talk about the "Minutemen Militia" who are down at our southern border, gurading against illegal immigrants.

"It ain't safe no virple gazzle huff! Why ripened toe-strudle! Jist last week hurrumph-nagle - one shot a blurrfln-man six times!"

I discerned he was talking about the shooting at the Coochie-Coochie Salsateque!
"I know!" I said, "I heard it! I live right down there!"

"Well, " He continued..."That hirrsh-felder nerbin! He came right down to the starbucks after that and got a cofffdin-pullin-ziffered-do! The cops - why they charrfig-ed him -and urped dorp the street!"

He looked shocked. I took it that the shooter had walked up the street, right past him, and got a coffee at the starbucks. Then the cops chased him out of there, and up another road. He looked worried out of his one good eye.

"He went right past me. I was just resting portin-whyzzle de morgan newwerd and cheesing my stuff! I coooord 'ave! He marrrghina - - -" and he made the gun shape with his hands. I knew he was worried the guy could have shot him.

"It's getting crazy." I said. "It's been a crazy week."

He nodded. Then hit me up for some change. I paid him though. It's always nice to have a reliable source for a real follow-up.