Friday was a shimmering oasis, which still had to be reached by crawling.

Man gang, I dunno about you, but I got worked over like a stain on Granny's best tablecloth this week. I'm not going to say this week was like having my skin boiled off by scalding steam...nor am I going to say it was like being given an eye-poke that jammed my entire eyeball and optic nerve (and a few stray eyelashes) straight back into my brain-stem...cause you know I'm not one to complain. But damn - it was a week.

To start off, I'd like to say every word I wrote this week was like rolling Sisyphus's rock - only in word form...and it never got any easier. So, sorry.

As it turns out, one of my greatest arch-enemies, Pawtuckett "The Crayfish" Rathbone has been working over the midsection of my doll with his powerful Voodoo needles. Let me just say, everything's fine, now that I've got my cultists performing defensive mo-jo, and I have seven priests from various faiths workin' the almighty (and the anti-almighty too, just in case) in my favor. See, I just didn't know what was happening at first, cause I thought I'd left the dead husk of a corpse of Pawtuckett staked thru the heart on an unnamed mountain in the Andes, after our last tangle back in the late 90's.

And that wasn't my only problem. My biggest problem this week? Of course, you've already guessed...The Yakuza!

Yes, my friends, three times this week, the Yakuza just came up and stole my lunch! Just like the bullies at skool! Bastards. It's times like these, that I wish I hadn't come up with a Zombie Action Plan - and instead had devised a Yakuza Action Plan. Right now, that seems a bit more practical. I talked to my Pa about this, and he gave me the 'ole, "Face down a bully just once, and he'll never bother you again" speech. Which, or course, is useless in the face of the Japanese Mafia. These guys cut off their own FINGERS just to prove they're loyal, and besides, there's usually like eight of them. Sure I have my sword-cane, but these guys are tough, have nicely tailored suits, and guns. So, until I come up with something better, I'm doing what I did today- from now on. Eating in elevators.

Anyways - enough about me and my problems.

The King of All Weekdays, is busy cooling your feet in his cool oasis pools. Scantily clad oasis dwellers fan you with huge hand-fans, cushion your back with huge, soft pillows (somehow providing the perfect amount of lumbar support) and bring forth refreshments of all varieties! What wonders await you in this exotic respite? Who can say? All I know, is I'd like to stay here a bit longer than I can.

Happy Friday.