In heated discussion with Dario via our email device, it occurs to me that you Fjordling Sweethearts may need a little more incentive to join my "Church." Apparently, Catholicism, Muslimism and 7th Day Adventestism have given y'all so much that I may have to lure you to the "Joke Side" with various baubles and trinkets and what-not. Oh! And it would appear that you may need a more solid ethos, as well. That said, here you go you sweet, greedy, set in your ways, skin piles of beauty:
What you receive should you decide to join up:
Placemats, salvation, rocked candies, one phone call to the Gjod of your choice, embroidered socks, a guarenteed belly laugh and a cup of ceremonial Kool-Aid (when the time has been deemed nigh).
Additional Ethos besides the sweet, sweet jokes:
Everything is exactly how it seems. Always. Under every concieveable circumstance. Things are constantly unchanging and precisely as they appear.
How's that for comfort? No religion I'm aware of can make such crazy claims! Feeling more lured? I sure hope so!
Just remember what the Ljord said: "And yea, though appearences would have me smoten with small cocks, knoweth now that I be smoten with small POX!"
See ya at Mass!!
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
4 comments:
Alright, alright. So I see you're offering socks,placemats and kool-aid, but whats in it for us chicks? We're feeling better about things (thanks to the addtl. ethos), but you know we still need to be accomodated. And don't try to say the placemats were for us, cheapo.
(Btw, you forgot to mention when and where mass was.)
Rican
Rocked candies? THAT's what you're givin' me?!?!
But whoa, back it up a bit! I didn't know this was THAT kinda outfit(re: no girls allowed)!
Look, Q I don't care WHAT kinda kool-aid you're servin',it can't be spiked hard enough for me to sit around and watch a bunch of dudes give eachother "salvation" by "rubbing eachother's placemats" and feeding eachother "rocked candies". ( I guess I couldn't anyway, since I wouldnt be allowed..)
Anyway, when you've hammered out the membership details (and come up with a few more incentives for we WOMEN), let me know.
Rican
What about rituals?? every good religion has great rituals. I'm not suggesting anything crazy like canibalism (Christianity) but maybe something like abstaining from the snack bag on Transcontinental flights. Something easy... like Spitting on the floor as a jesture of respect or eating desert before diner.
Can I suggest a basic outline of the structure of the basic rel.....God I have to tell you I love where your going with this religion...It makes me feel a wet warm sensation over my whole torso not to mention my naval. I love the fact that any one and every one (Isthmus I love you) is welcome.
Post a Comment