Where (if you were here) you would have seen one D. Tsunami stagger through the front door, drop his bags and sacks, and turn on 3 of 4 fans to cool the damn place off from a day of baking Los Angeles sun. And before he could rip off his green gabardine pants, and black Oxford shirt, (poorly chosen for this kind of heat, but, in my defense it was pretty cool and overcast this morning at 7:30 when I was hitting the road) he remembered the precious liquid in one of the sacks, and threw two Miller tall-boys in the fridge. Then he ripped off his clothes, and put on something a bit more comfjordable.
And then the squawking started.
About 6 or 8 months ago, a neighbor brought home a Macaw parrot, and stuck his cage in the window. From there, I could here it's collection of odd-as-fuck sounds, which confused my visitors to no end.
"It's a cat!" One said.
"It's a dog!" Said another.
"It's a kid!" Said a third.
Nope. It's a fucking bird.
Mostly this didn't really bug me (one day I'll tell you about the rooster - but that's another tale) infact, seeings as how my tropical resort might need a little animal ambiance, I was almost sorta' happy. However, as the man says, "there's trouble in paradise."
My home, and the neighbors share the same style of water pipe. Seeings as they were built at the same time, probly made by the same manufacturer and probly laid down in 1933 by the same plumber. Nevertheless, the shower fixtures have a way of producing an extremely high-pitched squeak with every turn, both to activate said shower, and to de-activate the apparatus. It's not so bad when you're doing it...in fact, you really don't even notice.
But, last week - to my chagrin (see I told you I was working some new words into my brain) I found out, that this bored-as-fuck parrot had learned the same exact squeak that my (and my neighbor's) faucets make. Only, it learned how to string that sound in a loop that lasted, well, like ten minutes, before it changed back into the sounds of a strangling dog, drowning cat, and mangled child.
Since I really don't know what to do about it, I'm just going to think of Fjords.
Yep...I think that's going to help.
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1 comment:
1) Mr. Hashbrown - an excellent idea. I'm cueing up 2-Live-Crew's "Me So Horny" right now! This is gonna be sweet!
2)W.M., if #1 doesn't pan out, I'm going to want to see your "fleshed-out" plan. Seeings how the proximity of the bird might lead the authorities to me, I'm going to need the "perfect bird-murder" plan. Which also sounds pretty sweet!
Thanks for both of your inputs.
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