Good News!

Yes-sir-ee bub (and bub-etts) good news!

Seems there's been nothing but gloom-an-doom on the horizon (and up close too) but it's time to take a minute to look at what's been underreported in your librul media these days. Such as, I've noticed no shortage of hot water! Also, I was just at the store and it's clear that cheese is just as plentiful as ever! Rockin' good news, I must say.

What else? You ask. Oh, um, I thought that would be enough. Hang on, there's more! I gots it over here somewhere in this stack o' papers.

*shuffle shuffle*

Err, okay, howabout, "Scientists determine atmosphere still breathable" Koool! Altho, I had noticed I'm not asphyxiating without their report. Let's see, no, not that, howabout...oooh! Here's one, "Cute Kittens Abound On You Tube." Fantastic, who doesn't like cute kittens? Man, the innernets are great huh? Oh, and here's one that says "New Concentrated Laundry Detergent Has 8x's The Cleaning Power Of Regular Laundry Detergent" Now, I'm under the impression that this might be a marketing ploy to sell you less soap for more money, but heck, if it's true that's EIGHT TIMES THE CLEANING POWER! That's modern living for yas, more convenience and more power in one small bottle.

So there ya go! Keep the chin up and all that...cause it could be worse!

Mummy Video

From the BBC - (which doesn't have an embed feature so you have to go here.)

I think the important line is "this is the kind of discovery that makes archaeologists go weak at the knees." Of course, it makes mummy killers, such as yours truly, seethe with rage.

That New Government Smell

Yeah - so while out with the bugs (mine, my compooters (lather, rinse, repeat)) a buncha stuff has briefly caught my attention, and then left like, well, like something not there anymore. One of the things I've been thinking about in a longer time frame has been torture of terrorist suspects. There's been plenty (more than plenty, overwhelming amounts) of evidence that says torture does not work. But there seems to be this pervasive argument about the "ticking time-bomb scenario" where a suspect is in custody - and has information that could stop an attack that could save thousands of lives. The argument is we need to be able to torture in this circumstance, and therefore we should not outlaw torture, because this one particular circumstance. (This particular question was raised in the confirmation hearings of our new C.I.A. Director)

What to do...what to do!?! Jimmy Terrorist is sitting there with the information, and the law has tied the hands of our noble protectors!

Now, I've read there hasn't actually ever been a case of this "ticking time-bomb scenario" happening, but that could just be the internet talking. I don't know. But the idea of this situation happening, and our agents doing nothing seems retarded. If you're charged with defending the country, and find out 5-million people are about to be gassed and you've got a member of the plot in custody - you do everything in your power to get that information and save 5-million people. You break the fjucking law. Then, once you've saved all these people, you take your lumps in a goddang court of law. If you think a jury of your peers will put you in jail for breaking the law to save millions of innocent civilians, you've underestimated the capacity for people and their judgement. C'mon, you're going to get a medal.

Two Dozen Mummies Found

Frum Yahoo News...so here's a few words...

CAIRO – A storeroom housing about two dozen ancient Egyptian mummies has been unearthed inside a 2,600-year-old tomb during the latest round of excavations at the vast necropolis of Saqqara south of Cairo, archaeologists said Monday.

The "storeroom for mummies" dates back to 640 B.C. during the 26th Dynasty, which was Egypt's last independent kingdom before it was overthrown by a succession of foreign conquerors beginning with the Persians, Hawass said. But the tomb was discovered at an even older site in Saqqara that dates back to the 4,300-year-old 6th Dynasty, he said.

Most of the mummies are poorly preserved, and archeologists have yet to determine their identities or why so many were put in one room.

Economies collapsing, fires raging, riots, general stupidity everywhere...and what shows up? Yes, I am suggesting this is all part of their plan.

Huh...

Sooooo...um, yeah, turns out my physical body's anti-virus system was waaaaay better than my compooter's. Anywise I may be back, or I may not...it's hard to say at the moment.

But there is an interesting little idea that came to me while I was not updating this here awesome innernet landmass. It's that in no uncertain terms, blogging captures a moment. If I were to stop doing anything new here, it would be a moment that reaches from 2005 to 2009 - and I don't think that's a small thing...yet in the overall span of history 4 years is nothin. (a grain of sand tumbling thru the hourglass...yeah?) Still, it's a snapshot of ideas and thinkin' for far longer than anyone in their right mind should have. I've speculated here before about future internet historians digging thru dusty servers and cobweb-covered digital domains...

Anyway, one day, this joint will be one of those...just like every site on the internet. I mean, remember friendster? Once upon a time, that was a big deal. Now, who the hell sends you e-vites to become their friendster-friend? Will facebook follow? I dunno, but anywise, all I'm sayin' is one day Fjord will just stop. There won't be any fanfare, there won't be a long ramble about what it's meant, and how it's changed all of our lives, it will just stop. Like a photograph of a moment.

Then the spiders come...

Well Well Well...here we are

I spent the last week or so of 2008 trying to scrub a particularly nasty virus/trojan horse from the operating system of the Casa Aloha H.Q. computer system. Yesterday I finally got down to (what I think) were the offending files and rooted them out. So far so good. I only wish I could run the same program on my immune system, which has also been infected with a particularly nasty virus/trojan horse...which in fact, caused me to miss the New Yars Eve Celebrashion for the first time in many decades.

Anyhoo - as you may know, this year we added a leap second to the official clocks around the world. The BBC has a nifty little bit right here that has a video on how they add or subtract seconds from the Big Ben clock.

Here's Something

Found here, but I'd suggest you goto the beginning and read from 1939-43, as 44-45 are kinda' super depressing.

Uh, the line you will be looking for is in bold...

Thousands of carrier pigeons accompanied the troops to Normandy on D-day and brought back essential details to Allied Headquarters in a capsule tied to their legs. A special loft was erected at the secret code deciphering centre at Bletchley Park. Considered vermin by many, these pigeons, were first used as early as the year 1150 AD and played an important part in both world wars. News of Wellington's victory at Waterloo first came by pigeon post. Many of these birds were specially bred in Belgium prior to 1939. Often used as a distress signal from downed aircraft, a pigeon named 'Winkie' escaped from a bomber after coming down in the English Channel in 1943. It flew back 120 miles to its base at RAF Leuchers in Scotland in time for rescue boats to reach and save the crew of the stricken bomber. Winkie was awarded the Dickin Medal (the animal version of the Victoria Cross) the first pigeon to be awarded with the medallion. Many of these pigeons were dropped by specially designed parachutes to be picked up by members of the French resistance. They were soon on their way back to Britain with Important information. At this time the Germans were training Falcons to intercept the pigeons while in flight and many were killed this way. In all, thirty-two animal VCs were awarded to pigeons during WW11, also awarded were 18 dogs, 3 horses and one cat, a pet on HMS Amethyst. Instituted by Mrs Maria Dickin MBE in 1943, founder of the People's Dispensary for Sick Animals (PDSA) a British veterinary charity, the Dickin Medal was awarded to any animal, bird or dog, displaying conspicuous gallantry during war.

However awesome this factoid is, I do agree with the 3rd sentence 1st statement..."Considered vermin by many..." I am certainly one of the many.

Mummy Smuggler

Now, I think you all know my stand on mummies - they are dangerous undead and all should be destroyed as fast as possible, whenever they are discovered.

I doubt you are all aware of my stand on smugglers - romantic rogues who live just outside the law, with a cloud of danger hanging over their heads.

When you combine the two - I'm not sure how I should feel - but I can't help but think if there's someone cooler than a smuggler, it's someone who smuggles mummies. (Not really much to the story 'cept for the headline)

Merry Fjuckin' and Happy Gjoddamn!

I'll be back after the X-mas thingiemabob.

In no particular order

Here is a mothafjuckin' beautiful car. Aston Martin DB4 GT Zagato

Here is the Messenger God. Lookit all the other stuff he's supposed to be god of.

Here is a clip of a dock crane unloading a container ship.

records

Over the break, I had a chance to view one of the crazier movies from the past called "Straight to Hell." It's an Alex Cox flick (same guy who did repo man and sid & nancy) and it stars Dick Rude, Joe Strummer and the Poges (as a band of coffee addict renegade outlaws.) In what is basically a punk-rock spaghetti western. It's crazy good fun, with about a billion cameos of random rad people like Grace Jones, Elvis Costello, Jim Jarmusch, and Dennis Hopper.

Anyhoo - when I was a younger lad, these were people I not only liked, but respected. There was a certain ethos in some of the old punk rockers, that I really wanted to embody. So I'm in my bed last night, thinkin about stuff, as you're want to do, kickin back in bed before a slumber, and the thought stuck me that nothing about writing is punk-rock. I thought about how writing is a conservative action, requiring thoughts captured in text which deprives them of some or perhaps most, of their intended meaning.

Then I found a couple of examples that broke that thought, like Burroughs, or Thompson, who really didn't write to make a "classic" but wrote stuff that had crazy energy. Then I remembered Henry Rollins having a nice interview talking about being inspired by writing, and wanting to be a writer, but all he could do was sing punk-rock. Finally, I just figured, all the old punk-rockers were performers. The problem with comparing writing to performing punk-rock, is you can't. Writing has no stage, it's capturing something for the record, on a page or on some pixels. If it's funny or inventive or mind-boggling, there's no interpretation besides the act of reading it.

You might hear a song on an elevator, and think "I like that!" And hunt it down after a little bit and put it on yer itunes. You'll never hear a passage read from the same elevator speakers, and then go hunt down a book. Our culture thrives on immediacy, and that leaves text behind pretty fast. But the written word isn't made for immediacy, (even tho that'd be nice) it's there for later. So I changed my tune a bit, (laying there in bed-as I was) and figured writing is just like any medium, it's infused with whatever energy you can put into it, and have it come out the other side.

The problem is, with punk rock performers, they get crowds of people cheering back at them when they lay down a classic that everybody loves. They get interviews, and sometimes movie roles, because they are performers. As a writer, there's none of that. Sometimes someone says a kind word, which you can choose to believe or not, and that's about it. I've found, mostly, the only way to really know where you stand is to take an actual writing class. Not only does this get you writing something new, but in reading other people's work, you can literally see how you stack up against the other people who want to be (or are) writers. That's about the tops in the "Glory Dept." for being a writer.

Doesn't mean it's not worth doing.

As Promised...Hamster Cannon

Unfortunately, the early test results turned out poorly for Mr. Cheeckpacker.



We are hoping reconstructive surgery will soon help him rejoin the ranks of my minions.

...A slight pause...

For a bit, the West Coast Branch of Fjord will be stepping down from it's perch on the cutting edge of the innernets, and finding a nice hammock somewhere.

I can't say eggsactly how long a vacation this will be, but I do know that by the time I get back, the boys down at the lab (with the help of Mr Cheeckpacker) will have perfected the hamster-cannon...and that, my friendly fjordlings, will be something to see.

As a follow up to the last post

I now command this guy,

and these two snadwich-artists.

I know it doesn't look like much, but an unstoppable army doesn't just pop up at the door of your Command Center...it has to be built - then forged in the heat of battle where fear gives way to bloodlust, and killing becomes as natural as breathing and...hey! Where the hell did my snadwich artists go? Little pansies - go ahead an run! Mister Cheekpacker and I can do the job without your cowardly - hey - what's this? Well, at least they left me something.

Command Center

It's only a command center if you actually command something from it.

Otherwise, it's just a room.

Here's some words...

Everyone who got where he is had to begin where he was.

-Richard L. Evans-

No Comment

found at this awesome joint

Sorry it's been a bit...

In one sense I've been very busy...in another sense, I've been very lazy. I'm sure you know that those two are often the polar opposite of each other, but in some cases they can (and do) co-exist. I wanted to letcha know about this really cool National Geographic piece about the universe a couple of days ago - but something was wonky with my browser (or blogger) and I couldn't cut-n-paste or make with the linky, so...it wasn't like I was trying. Today, I couldn't even find the story on their site (well played NatGeo). Fortunately, I was able to find this which'll give ya the deets. But here's the gyst...
THERE ARE STRUCTURES OUTSIDE OUR VISIBLE UNIVERSE THAT ARE SUCKING MATTER TOWARDS THEM IN GIANT RIVERS!

(did you here me?)

OUT OF OUR UNIVERSE!!!

(Call me paranoid, but I'm under the belief that we're going to need all the matter we can get our grubby little humanid mitts on before this thing is over. I for one will be happy to declare war on these "structures" outside our Universe in response to this aggression. Stealing matter is no...err, laughing matter when it belongs to you, and your universe. That's not the America I know. Hell, that's not even the Solar System I know! (Saturnites...I know we've had our differences, (like us always makin' fun of your giant gas sacks...that allow you to flourish -floating in your planet's craaazy atmosphere...hehe gas sacks) but we've always respected your planet's kick-ass rings. Besides we share the same sun, and the same Universe and we all want to keep that, right? So let's put away our differences about who made fun of what gas sack and go destroy these things sucking away our Universe!!!)

Anyhoo - I think at this time it's worth a quote from Bush the Elder...(and The Dude)
"This aggression will not stand!"

America Is Fucking Rad (again)

In March, I wrote this, and I added a little WWI flava to the thing from a quote from a diary of a British nurse that ended with this.

Then I heard an excited exclamation from a group of Sisters behind me, "Look! Look! Here are the Americans!"

I pressed forward with the others to watch the United States physically entering the War, so god-like, so magnificent, so splendidly unimpaired in comparison with the tired, nerve-wracked men of the British Army. So these were our deliverers at last, marching up the road to Camiers in the spring sunshine! ... The coming of relief made me realize all at once how long and how intolerable had been the tension, and with the knowledge that we were not, after all, defeated, I found myself beginning to cry.

Now, I think it's pretty obvious (for those of you who read this-here-webzine...if not - take my word for it) that I'm not a whacko nationalist, and in fact I believe that hubris is real, and the more powerful you are, the more careful you should be. These thoughts have clearly not been followed by my elected Representatives.

But anyhoo, I was chattin' with my pal Craig (myspace music page linky there) about the election, and we reached the conclusion that - not only was the USA totally schizophrenic having subjected the world to 8 yars of Bush, and then votin' in Obama (like how is anyone in any other country supposed to understand what we've really been up to all this time...I don't have a clue and I live here!) - but the last act proves that undeniably America is once again, Fucking Rad.

The last time we here in the US of A were really fuckin' rad was when we put a man on the moon. That was pretty damn rad. Since then it's been a slow spiral downwards into total un-rad-ness. But with this Obama thingiemabob - (a Frenchman told Craig on election eve, "He's the first black man (I know, he's half-white - it's the statement that counts) to be elected as a national leader in the history of Western civilization"

So, in scanning the internets today, there was such a crazy outpouring of support, joy, amazement and outright blown-minds from international news sources that it looks like we did it again...not just astound and inspire, but perhaps a return to the level of Space-Age-Rad.

I think it's obvious that this correspondent has been waiting for more than a while for the 21st century to actually show the fjuck up! It's almost as if the 1900's threw out a last desperation hand in 2000 to stop us from getting anywhere - but gjoddang it, the guy to break the ankle-lock, (the shackles, if you will) of the last century and take us into the future is...a black dude named Obama?

That's Space-Age-Rad.

America, fuck yeah.

Eh, why not...

IT's a great day for America everybody!

Been waiting a while to say that, but it really is.

**

Just saw this over at Warren Ellis' joint.

"I’m delighted. Nice work, America. You got your country back.

And just imagine: now, when you travel to Europe, you won’t have to tell people you’re from Canada."