Friday, January 13, 2006

Untitled #1

Friday welcomes you to the oasis, astride a massive white stallion. Behind him oasis dwellers lounge by mirror-smooth oasis pools, where veil-clad women reveal their abdominal secrets with fantastic belly-dancing. (and for you womenfjolk, the strapping young men of the oasis are about to race their own fine horses through the oasis square...shirtless)

Choose, if you will, from an assortment of beers, chilling in metal buckets full of ice, lying about in helpful places. (under that tree! behind that tent! by that bench! right there- at your feet) Or, saunter to the plaza, tiled in exquisite mosaic, where helpful folk grill kabobs, bar-b-que ribs, and vats of delicious curry. (don't ask me why they have bar-b-que and curry, I didn't make up the oasis menu for Friday...they just do, okay.) Or perhaps you'll visit one of the numerous hookah-bars and get ripped on hash and opium. I'm not one to judge, they also have a fantastic assortment of "tobacco pipes."

What will you do here at the oasis, you wonder? Well, later there'll be a band, who'll knock your socks off, or so I've been hearing. Or, maybe you'll look for the love of your life (I'm told they might be just around that corner...over there, past that rug shop. Come to think of it, maybe you could buy a rug?) Possibly you might challenge the oasis-dwelling Giant Praying Mantis at a game of chess. I read he's a grand-master, and once played Kasparov in a hard fought 5-3 match. If that's not your style, there's some line dancing out by the Oasis-Annex...I'm told it's a lot of fun, but they don't let cowboys into Oasis Proper, unless it's in the cinema, or for the annual "Lasso a Bull Festival, " but that's not until February.

Maybe you'll just follow Friday back to the club (yeah, they got a thumpin' joint - Paul Okenfold's supposed to Zepplin in around 10-ish and do a set.) where he's got a room, and will be chillin' with the other weekdays...apparently he's flown in a team of experts who are supposed to come up with new and inventive ways of being nice to him, and all his friends. Sounds, umm, pretty nice.

Well, this is where I leave you, I've got to pick up my shoes (oh, yeah - there's a kickass cobbler here, incase you need some work done) before the soap-box-derby...what? No, no, I'm just going to watch, but all you gotta do is sign a waver, and you can race if you want. Oh, there'll be plenty of cars that don't have drivers. I don't know why, it just seems as tho with lots of time on their hands, the oasis-dwellers make a lot of soap-box-derby cars. Infact, it's their biggest export. You should see the wood-work on those things...man, now that's craftsmanship! So, I'm off. Have fun, and if you need me, later I'll be on the roof of the Mummy Museum, I've got a new rocket-launcher I want to try out. And it's the only building that's got an unobstructed view of Saheed's Used Car Lot. Man is that guy gonna be pissed tomorrow! Hah! Oh, one more thing - just remember - do not break any laws...the only punishment here is beheading, and it costs a lot to bribe your way out of that one, I'm telling you!

Happy Friday.

-D.T.-

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