More and more, 2006 is resembling a horrible caramel spill where, you think it's really fun - what with all the screaming and the fact that it goes great with apples...that is until you loose your shoes, and socks, and even when yer actually out of the stuff, your bare feer are just picking up large rocks, pine cones, and stray bits of glass, (cause they're sticky too) and driving them deep towards your metatarsil bones (or whatever bone structure is deep within your feer...)
So anyways, I'm going to take a trip to a happier place. A place where candied panda run free, peering playfully from behind trees, awaiting you to get hungry enough to catch one. A place where you can pick up a kick-ass automobile for the simple price of twenty pushups. (hard for some, I know...but it's a damn fine CAR I'm talking about.) A place where the Lollipop Guild and the Leprechaun's Union have hilarious bare-knuckled brawls for control of the sugar-plum racket. A place where you can go to Reno, shoot a man - watch him die, and the cops'll say (over thunderous applause of bystanders) "Quite right, he'd had it coming for a while now. Good thing you came along...say, would you like a new house?"
And I'm not even bringing up the hovercraft, rocket-cars, liquid-nitrogen, robot servants, epoxy seas, cloud-cities and the slim model-esque nature of the inhabitants. I'm just sayin', I'm goin'. Wanna come?
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