Private Binks had a problem

It wasn't something that was too bad. It was just that he couldn't pronounce the words "en" together without tripping up his lips and saying "nen." Now the only reason this was a problem was that Private Binks was attached to the First Infantry Division HQ Signal Corps, fighting the Nazi's. It was his job to relay the orders of General Thomas "Meatgrinder" Smith.

Now General Smith came from West Point, fought a little in the American Expeditionary Force in W-W-1, and considered himself a fairly martial kinda' guy. He loved the commands of battle, ordering in the deadly rain of artillery, or sending a mass of tanks like a rolling iron wave at the enemy. But Binks was running the theater of it all. It was so cool to send a brigade of riflemen around the enemy's flank, but it was not cool to have Binks, every single time say, "Yes Gneneral! I'll signal the troops your orders right away Gneneral!" It was starting to ruin the whole fun of being a General.

What made it worse, was Binks shared his job with a signalman named Private Thoss. Thoss was even worse, because he had a damn Daffy-Duck slur in his S's, and therefore pronounced every s, as if it were a "th."

"Call in the Mustangs!" General Smith would command, "We need some close air-support!" And Thoss would salute and say, "Yeth Thir! Your orderth are already thent!" It was worse when things were really hairy, and both of them were on duty at the same time.

"Where are the casualty reports!?" He'd ask.
"Perhapth on your dethk Thir!" Private Thoss would say.
"I'm receiving an nencoded message now Gneneral!"
-the field telephone rang, and Thoss answered
"Firtht Army Command Potht!"
(He suspected other Generals of calling just so they could laugh at whichever boob picked up the phone.)
Binks was doing something on the radio.
"Gneneral! The nenemy has pinned down Lieutnenant Glnenn's platoon! What are the Gneneral's orders!?"
"Thir! Eithenhower hath given the orderth to retreat. The flankth thouthwardth are in theriouth ditharray!"

General Smith put his hands to his head. How could anyone conduct a war like this!?

I guess it wasn't Private Binks that so much had a problem, as it was General Smith. Shortly thereafter, the 25th panzer-grenadiers landed a lucky artillery barrage which straddled the command post. The concussion was enough to knock General Smith out, and he was carried to safety by his two signalmen. When he awoke, much to his horror, he found he had somehow gained BOTH of the hideous speech impediments of Binks and Thoss.

"Do you know where you are?" Asked the medic.
"In Germany."
"Good. Do you know who you are?"
"Of courth, I'm Gneneral Thmith."

And with that, his military career was over. He was however, (to his humiliation) quite the study for psychologists and linguists for years.