NOW WIGGLE!

Different channel. A British Spitfire races past the camera - it's the Battle of Britain!
Only so much information (or anything, for that matter) can travel down any one conduit.
Different channel. Boston Pops!
The rate of transfer at the end of the conduit depends on processing capability.
Different channel. A man stands in a file room. Stacks and stacks of paper, files...it's the dead letter office of every corporation. It's where signals and communications are printed out in hard-copy, and left to rot, in the obscure chance that they're needed again. They rarely are. "I found it!" He says.
Different channel. It's a hamburger commercial.
No matter how information is transmitted...print, voice, picture, music, video, movie, blog, comedy, drama, thought, liquid, vegetable, mineral. (I am the model of a modern major general) While things originate somewhere, where someone has a (the) message, it ends up at the other end, at the pure discression of the receiver. (binary...again...but this time it's not a static structure...the receiver can throw away junk mail without ever reading it...)
Different channel. Friends - ugg!
Different channel. A cowboy is tied up back-to-back with a woman in a bonnet and a prairie dress, and both are bound to the rails of train-track. He speaks over his shoulder to the damsel. "It might be exactly what I have to do...but I sure as shit ain't gonna say, I have to wiggle."

Altho no self-respecting cowboy would be caught dead wiggling...there's really nothing wrong with it. I mean, worms do it, snakes do it (altho you can gussy-it-up by saying wordssss like slither, glide, ooze, or slide) dancers do it too. But even though it's an unseemly activity for any Lady or Gentleman, everyone needs a little wiggle-room. It's the ultimate expression of having, at least a little-itty-bitty amount of space.

The problem with space, is, (besides the vast distances between, er, everything) gravity.

Int. Elevator - day
A man stands with a large envelope. The door opens and a businesswoman walks on. She's very thin, pretty, but obviously very pregnant.
Woman: Hi!
Man: Good afternoon.
They stand for a moment, the man looks at the floor numbers passing by.
Woman: Quite the weather we're having.
Man: Yes. Very, um, unseasonal.
Then the man begins to bend slightly from the waist. He fights with all his back muscles, but his head is drawn towards the pregnant woman's belly.
Man: I hope you don't mind my asking (he's practically being sucked right towards her) but...

Too late. His head's stuck to her stomach. He looks up at her.

Man: What do you have in this thing?
Woman: A baby!
Man: Really? Made of what, magnets?
Woman" Why, do you have a metal plate in your skull?
Man: Actually I do.

A Fed Ex guy walks onto the elevator, pulling an empty two-wheeled dolly. He looks perturbed at the scene.

Woman: Oh, I'm sorry.
She strokes the man's head (stuck to her belly) soothingly.
Woman: Perhaps we can find someone who can help us, umm, apart. Excuse me. (she asks to the Fed Ex guy) Could you help pull us apart?
Fed Ex Guy: I don't know...
suddenly the two wheeled dolly takes on a life of it's own and is sucked towards the woman's belly! The Fed Ex Guy grapples with it for a moment, then it flies across the evelvator, and lands across the man's back- stuck there with a powerful attraction.
Fed Ex Guy: Wow! Sorry about that.
Man: No Prob.
Fed Ex Guy: Yeah, um, let me help.
He begins prying on the man's head, it doesn't budge. He grabs the dolly, and yanks back. The three of them lurch across the elevator, and end up on the other side, in a tangled mess. The Fed Ex Guy pulls crazily on the dolly. The doors open and two well-dressed businessmen stand outside the door.
Businessman 1: We'll take the next one.
The doors close, and the elevator continues. The man looks up from the jostling of the Fed Ex Guy trying to get his dolly off his back and into the eyes of the woman.
Man: Would you like to go out sometime?
Woman: What?
Man: Well, in your current state, you probably don't have a lot of offers.
Woman: What!?!?
Man: I'm just saying, if the father's not around - and these are modern times we're living in - I'd like to take you to dinner.
Woman: Oh. Well, okay.
Fed Ex Guy: This is some fucked up shit.

HOLY MOLY! Can we leave it at any more of a cliffhanger?!!? Who's the father of the buisnesswoman's daughter (oop, slipped up and gave away summore of the plot! Crap!) Who wins the Battle of Britan?!? Will the Boston Pop's play "Cats" or Motzart!? Was the Document found in the file-room really that important!? Who eats the Gjoddamn hamburger - cause I'm hungry! Will the Cowboy actually wiggle and make himself a laughingstock of the entire cowboy world?!! (And is, "The Wiggling Kid" a good gunfighter name?)

The only way to find out is to stay tuned to channel fjord.