Friday Emerged From the Haze

like the Isle of Avalon. (small side note here...I was just looking thru the history of one itty-bitty-city called London...did you know it was once completely taken over and run by the Vikings (much like a good chunk of England all together) the proud peoples who called the original land of Fjords, their home? Well, if you didn't, or you did and you forgot, now you do.(um, again))
Let's continue this fjord-dweller thread for a sec. Thanks to a quick google search and a handy Viking God website, I knocked into this...

Freya, or Freyja, was the goddess of beauty and love. A beautiful, blonde, blue-eyed young woman, she was the sister of Frey and in later traditions the wife of Odin.
Freya claimed half of the heroes slain in battle, carrying them to her realm of Folkvang in Asgard. Most of her myths concern attempts by the giants to abduct her. In Teutonic mythology, she was named Frigg. Friday is named after her, Freitag in German and vrijdag in Dutch.

Shit.

It's a known human characteristic to give human traits to animals and objects, it's called anthropomorphism. When I started all this "weekday persona" crap back in the day, I just figgered, "why not make them all dudes, then if you have to bash-em, you won't get the feminists all up-in-arms over some slight, which was really a response to how a particular weekday treated me...after all most women, like weekdays, are pretty touchy. However, with the weight of an entire website against me, I will change the King of All Weekdays, to the Queen of All weekdays. Here we go!

The Queen of All Weekdays lay in a bed surrounded by sheer silken sheets. She stretched her arms above her head, and then ran her fingers through her long blond hair. A pillow had somehow slipped under the small of her back, and the illusion was one of a perfect pin-up model pose. Her nipples stuck out through...

Fuck. This is never going to work. It's always going to degenerate into porn. And without pictures, porn just don't have the plot maluability that you (Fjord Readers) are going to demand. Viking God Website...Fuck ya'. In my world Friday's King!
(Let's start this again...)

Friday sits up from his throne. (it's a massively cushioned lay-z-boy implanted in which are the latest techno-gadgets (and some that haven't yet been invented.)) He's just awoken from having dozed off while Thursday was mumbling some kind of story.
"I just had the most wonderful dream." The Big Daddy of Weekdays mutters. Then he realizes where he is. "Whaaa?"
"As I was saying," Thursday looks a little perturbed, "I was looking for something to puke in...it wasn't a Roman Villa with a built-in vomitorium, it was a one bedroom apartment, and all the woman had were some of those Chinese food to-go boxes. So I figgured..."
"No!" Says Friday, getting his bearings. "I mean, Whaaaat are we going to do today?"
Wednesday chimes in, "Same thing we do every Friday, Friday. Try and take over the world!"
For some reason this cracks the whole room up, except Friday.
"That's not what I ment." He speaks softly.
"Well it is kinda' spooky this week-end." Tuesday begins, "Perhaps we should find someone to...ahem...spook."
"That's not bad. But that honor actually belongs to Monday." Friday finishes with a declaration.
"About time I get some frikken honor around here..." Monday speaks softly. The others are a tad confused.
"I think what we're going to need..." Friday pulls the lever, lowering the foor-rest back into the Lay-Z-Boy and sitting up, "Is a whole new construct."
"Whaddaya mean?" Asks Tuesday.

Cut To:
The Digital Wall (remember? it ended with something like this...What will happen to D.Tsunami? What's at the top of the mysterious digital wall, and why is he climbing it!!? Who would really win in a mano-y-mano object battle to the death, Crampon? Sink? Or does Computer have an Ace of Snakes up it's sleeve? And do the writers even have an inkling of an idea of where this is going? Riiiight...of course you do.)

Tsunami climbs to the top of the wall, and, and well...lets slow this up just a touch, and talk about something that I've been thinking about. Suppose you find a cave, and want to climb down into it. Now, suppose this cave is like, well, a cave that leads through the center of the earth and (if yer from the U.S. of A.) it leads straight thru the planet and ends up in China. There's going to be a strange moment (if you were committed to such a trip) where you stop climbing, and start falling. It only makes gravitational sense, no?

Well, in this particular narrative, one D.Tsunami doesn't find out about this clever (cleaver?) little gravitational trick until he's exactly one handhold away from the top of the wall. He begins to fall.

"Fucking shit!" He shouts. (to no one...as the cameraman has been killed by a random falling porcelain sink, however, (for some reason) we're still there...cool huh?) The edge of the wall shoots past him, and a split-second before the wall passes his waist, he launches his ice-axe in a motion that would make an old looting, raping, pillaging Viking very proud...crams it into the world before he falls off.

Tsunami hangs from the edge of the world for a moment, only by a straining right hand. Legs, gear, scarf...hang downwards, pulled by a strange gravity into the void. Then he grabs onto the axe with his left. Then he lifts himself up. Using the axe handle as a lever, he puts his left leg onto the ceiling (roof? top?) As soon as he does, gravity (that tricky bastard) reverses itself, and he falls in a heap back to the ground. He repeats hjimself.
"Fucking shit!"

Pulling the axe out of the ground, he takes stock. Trees, grass, and a couple of beach chairs, lie between him and a huge temple. They're all made out of the same crazy matter...black with a bunch of yellow (or is it off-white?) zero's and one's. It's like at the end of the Matrix, when Neo figgers out what the hell is going on. He heads past the beach chairs and approaches the temple.

Cut To: Friday's Throne Room
Tuesday repeats himself.
"Whaddaya mean?"
With a crash, the doors of the room are thrown open. Standing there is Tsunami, clad in a parka, knit-cap, with snowpants, crampons, ice-axe and sunglasses.

Friday stands.
"If it isn't my favorite oddball digital construct...Dario Tsunami!" He moves forward across the room. "Man is it good to see you!" He gives Tsunami a big hug.
"Hey King of All Weekdays." Tsunami says, patting Friday on the back. "Whaddaya mean," He disengages himself from the hug and makes "quotation marks" with his fingers, "Construct?"

"Well, I was just saying we needed a whole new construct, and what are you? Something made to represent something that doesn't exist."
"Wait..." Says Tsunami...
"No," Continues Friday, "yer like a cartoon tidal-wave, a Leggo Bhudda, a chicken McNugget in a magazine! You should exist, but you don't. That's why I..." He turns to the other weekdays, who stand there agape, "That's why I love this guy!"

A moment of silence passes before the Hunchback speaks.
"Ahem..." Wednesday clears his throat, "I, umm, well the thing is..." And then, as what usually happens to Wednesday, his moment is broken by a tremendous shout. More of a battle cry. And then the Vikings show up.

They got axes. They got moustaches. They got shields and horned helmets and breastplates. They're thick in the waist, and they got belts with big buckles to hold up their breeches. They got spears, and they got daggers, and they got swords and they got axes. It's a fucking army of looting, raping and pillaging Vikings, and they're led by a beautiful blond blue-eyed maiden.

Monday shouts - "Quick, to the armory!"
Friday's bodyguards (burly, in dark suits and sunglasses, pull out their pistols, and gun down a few unsuspecting Vikings, before they are overwhelmed and, umm, hacked apart in various ways) hold them off for long enough for the weekdays to make their escape. Friday grabs Tusnami, and hustles him towards the armory. As they disappear between the last two bodyguards, firing madly into the Viking swarm, the woman's voice is heard.
"I want what you took from me! You can't be Friday! I'm Friday!" Man, even her voice is hot.

The door is shut behind them. The rest of the weekdays are already looking like someone from a late 80's action movie, clad with bandoleers of ammo, huge machine-guns, and the occasional headband. Friday and Tsunami begin arming themselves when the sound of axes begin to strike upon the door.

"Okay," Says, Friday, "Mon, and Tues, you take the left. Wed. and Thurs. you take the right. Tsunami and me will go right up the middle. And remember," He smiles just a little bit, "The woman's mine!"

(Crap, I really didn't want this to end up a porno. Well...maybe, is there a chance that they'd all git killed by the Vikes...who'm I kidding, like we'd be that lucky? Eternal Saturday starting from 10-28-05?)

Happy Friday.