Always Happens...(part II of six billion)

So I'm floggin some stupid story, and something pops up to support it, like this!

(Since I dunno the site, or how long the link'll last, I'm gonna paste the munny-quote fer future blogger archaeologists) (blogoligist? Hmm, possibly...anyhoo, back to the post!)

Matthew McConaughey lost more than his flip-flops during a recent surfing trip to Nicaragua - thieves made off with his cellphone and $2,000 (€1,264) in cash.

The movie star was reportedly carried home drunk from a bar in San Juan Del Sur after standing on tables asking patrons to help him find his missing flip-flops - and then allegedly passing out.

His bar pals took him back to his hotel room and put him to bed but left his door wide open when they left to go home - and that's when opportunists struck, according to sources.

**
I'm pretty sure my bit went something like this...
"Wearing flip-flops is like giving up, and announcing to the entire animal kingdom - I AM HELPLESS PREY - EAT ME!"

I suppose the only thing worse than sending out that signal by wearing flip-flops, is actually BROADCASTING TO ANYONE IN HEARING RANGE THAT YOU HAD LOST YOUR "I AM HELPLESS PREY -EAT ME" SIGNAL SENDING FOOTWEAR - AND NEED HELP TO FIND THEM!

My Gjod, it's literally unfathomable.

Incase yer feeling a little intellectual today

I really like this place. Over the last few months, they've done a really interesting series of posts about blast walls in Iraq. It really digs up a lot of bits about architecture, occupation, violence, and ties them into a fascinating angle that I've never seen even remotely discussed anywhere else. Here's the last one...

This is not news

to anyone paying attention.

As an honorable citizen of the U.S.-of-A., I have debated the numbers...and I merely speculate, but I believe it would take a tad under one-million citizens, to gather in Washington D.C., march into the Capitol, and announce these words.

When in the Course of human events it becomes necessary for one people to dissolve the political bands which have connected them with another and to assume among the powers of the earth, the separate and equal station to which the Laws of Nature and of Nature's God entitle them, a decent respect to the opinions of mankind requires that they should declare the causes which impel them to the separation.

We hold these truths to be self-evident, that all men are created equal, that they are endowed by their Creator with certain unalienable Rights, that among these are Life, Liberty and the pursuit of Happiness. — That to secure these rights, Governments are instituted among Men, deriving their just powers from the consent of the governed, — That whenever any Form of Government becomes destructive of these ends, it is the Right of the People to alter or to abolish it, and to institute new Government, laying its foundation on such principles and organizing its powers in such form, as to them shall seem most likely to effect their Safety and Happiness. Prudence, indeed, will dictate that Governments long established should not be changed for light and transient causes; and accordingly all experience hath shewn that mankind are more disposed to suffer, while evils are sufferable than to right themselves by abolishing the forms to which they are accustomed. But when a long train of abuses and usurpations, pursuing invariably the same Object evinces a design to reduce them under absolute Despotism, it is their right, it is their duty, to throw off such Government, and to provide new Guards for their future security.

(The rest is here...a pretty fun document, since you can pretty much see Jefferson drinking more and more wine as the document progresses, until at the very end, he tries to pull it all together. Sort of like a Fjordian blogpost...but I digress.)


And then what happens? I dunno. The problem with removing a government is replacing it. I'm pretty sure Douglas Adams nailed it when he wrote (something along these lines) "The problem is anybody who wants to become President should automatically be disqualified from the job."


And the other problem is - say you got one million people to march to the Capitol and you kicked-ass, restored the Constitution, and replaced all the corporate-shill-Congresspeople with regular Joe-Citizens...and everyone goes back home to their everyday stuff - and then all the big money boys hire two-million people to head back down to the Capitol, and do the exact same thing, changing all of it back. Sure it's news for a couple of days, but the average Citizen do-gooder ain't got the cash to fund one trip to Washington, much less two. Basically, after that, we're talking Roman Empire shit...unruly mobs from all sides of the spectrum of "what America should look like," but with guns, tazers, sonic weapons and puke-rays. Well, it'd be interesting for a little bit, until the Emporer comes along, and the whole chaotic experiment is crushed under the heel of an iron boot. Pretty sure that happened in France, and Rome...lotsa trouble...not to mention the beheadings...

It is fun to dream of a better future...isn't it?

One of my favorite lines of all times comes from a super crappy movie called The Day After Tomorrow. Just a dude sayin, "I'm sure we're going to be fine!" (then he's flash-frozen to death...or something)

Here's a list of yer Representatives that sold out yer 4th Amendment, according to my blogger sources, fer a measly 9-grand a piece. That's not even a new car. What the fjuck does 9-grand actually buy of anything??

Oh, and here's a couple snaps of what 500,000 people look like. Funny how after this, not one solid chunk of immigration legislation made it down the pipe. Why? Well, 500,000 thousand people walking down the street's kinda', supa' intimidating.













(found via google images...so if yer the photographer and don't want them here, just lemme know!)






So to reiterate the headline,
"this is not news."

Just sayin'
-Tsunami-

No Original Content Yet...

But the multi-media channelfjord is alive!

Baby-steps...I wish I didn't have to take baby steps...

Here's a cute as fjuck vid you can see there.



Along with a whole mess of other stuff you may have seen here at Fjord, or things that just kick- ass, and I haven't found a good enough reason to show yas.

I'll be sure to letcha know when this has more original D.T. content...promise!

Friday is aware...

Friday is aware that he is the embodiment of how much is too much. He is the mansion that is too huge, with too nice a view. He is the car passing you on the street that costs more than you're capable of making in your entire life. Friday is aware he is a direct representation of gluttony without guilt. He is the all-you-can-eat buffet, and the party with all the drugs you can possibly take, and the non-stop-sex-orgy you've only heard about in rumors. Friday is aware he is the toggle switch from devoting four days of slaving for a clean (or dirty) dollar, to having two days of time just to yourself. Friday is aware that uncounted billions of mortals on planet earth have yet to feel that feeling. Friday is aware that time is passing and this moment and the next, are passing into history. Friday, like you or I, also does not know where those moments go. Friday, unlike you or I, does not care since he is immortal...in the sense that as long as the current structure of a seven-day-week exists, so will he. Friday is aware of the looks of jealousy or envy, as he makes his way through the world. He gets them from immortal and mortal alike, like walking through a poor part of town carrying an 18-pack of beer. Friday is aware he is the ultimate billionaire playboy, unstoppable in force or will or desire. Friday is aware that people (and entities) might think him a bimbo, (himbo? Mimbo? Manboob? Dink?) as he just wants to have fun. Yet , bestowed with the role, what was he supposed to do? Take responsibility!?! Make the most of his "bully pulpit" to change the world for the better!?! Asking you to sacrifice this time to actually work to make the world a better place!?!

Nay, that's the job of the most Badass Monday, or Shifty/Tricksey Tuesday, or the Clever Inventor/Artisan/Hunchback Wednesday, or the most Solidly-Allied-To-Friday-of-all- Weekdays, Thursday. Those are the days to get things done. Friday is aware he could do better. But Friday has a lot on his plate, and a lot of people and things to serve...and when was the last time you hosted a party and forgot - or couldn't find- just the one thing, device, or activity that would have made everyone feel better...Friday's got to deal with 7 billion people, people just like you, on a never ending weekly basis. Friday is aware that he sets the table of your feast and merriment every week.

It's pretty much up to you to make the most of it.

Happy Friday

Re: Flamethrowers

This is short.

Staunchly Opposed To This Footwear...

"Flip-flops" or "thongs" - Just cannot for the life of me get behind this hideously ugly, and demonically impractical abomination of "shoe."

This little article brings a little research to the subject (yes, it appears they actually spent money looking at this...sigh...I coulda' just told em.

The Auburn team videotaped 39 flip-flop-wearing volunteers and noticed how they scrunched their toes to keep the flip-flip on the foot while the heel lifted in the air. This motion stretches the plantar fascia, the connective tissue that runs from heel to toe, causing inflammation, pain along the sole, heel spurs and tired feet in general.

These symptoms were actually what flip-flop wearers at Auburn University had reported upon returning to classes in the fall. An entire summer of flip-flop wearing had taken its toll.

The researchers also found that the volunteers altered their gait , taking shorter strides and turning their ankles inward, likely to keep the flip-flop from falling off. This, the researchers worry, can cause long-term ankle and hip problems.

Of course, this study does nothing to touch on a more important fact, which is - if you turned the corner wearing these awful things, and were confjronted by a rabid dog, (or a pack of coyotes, wolverines, angry possums, mountain puma, hell insert yours here) you my friend, would be in big trouble. Running is out, kicking for self-defense is out, yer just screwed. Creatures in nature have a whole array of of signals to warn predators of bad consequences - the skunk, the porcupine, the wasp, hell even the Monarch butterfly is colorful because it's poisoness! Wearing flip-flops is like giving up, and announcing to the entire animal kingdom - I AM HELPLESS PREY - EAT ME!

This, however, does not.

Yep, signals.

You are sending them all the time. Just sayin'.

Thank Gjod! "Earth 'not at risk' from collider"

I feel so much safer now!

Here's our munny quote...
But the report, issued the European Organization for Nuclear Research, says there is "no conceivable danger".

Whew! I had been worried for a little bit about that...but now, oh, wait...

Critics have previously raised concerns that the production of weird hypothetical particles called strangelets in the LHC could trigger the mass conversion of nuclei in ordinary atoms into more strange matter - transforming the Earth into a hot, dead lump.

All right...who are these critics, all worried and paranoid about this stuff? Clearly a buncha whackos! Oop...well, there's this guy...
But in 2003, Dr Adrian Kent, a theoretical physicist at the University of Cambridge, wrote a paper in which he argued that scientists had not adequately calculated the risks of a "killer strangelet" catastrophe scenario.

Just a theoretical physicist at Cambridge. Nothing to see here...move along. Oh, and to further reassure you crackpots...
theoretical physicist John Ellis, confirmed that black holes could be made by the collider. But they said: "If microscopic black holes were to be singly produced by colliding the quarks and gluons inside protons, they would also be able to decay into the same types of particles that produced them."

The report added: "The expected lifetime [of a mini-black hole] would be very short."

So yeah - everything's awesome, and we're not about to imperil our little planet with anything craaaaazy...like a black hole that would only last "a very short lifetime." Besides, this stuff will be perfectly contained in a capture matrix that will controll all the forces which we will have created.

Ooop...
The LHC was due to switch on in 26 November 2007. The start-up has been postponed several times, however, and is currently scheduled for later this summer. The first delay was precipitated by an accident in March 2007 during stress testing of one of the LHC's "quadrupole" magnets. A statement carried on the Cern website from the US laboratory that provided the magnet stated that the equipment had experienced a "failure" when supporting structures "broke".

It later emerged that the magnet had exploded in the tunnel, close to one of the LHC's most important detectors.

But apart from that, everything's amazing!

Older post here.


Another old post here.

A hokey beginning, but here's a sweet vid of the thing.

Hehe..."Could have been..."

Lovely!

I believe the munny quote is...
"The tools could have been used to hunt horses, mammoth and woolly rhinoceros."

Or, they could have been used to make primitive spacecraft!

Are you sure you don't want to move into the field of pre-historical archeology? I am still happy to make good on my offer...

...I'll be happy to give you a (really crappy looking) CERTIFICATE OF EXPERTISE IN THE FIELD OF PRE-HISTORIC ARCHEOLOGY - FROM THE FJORDIAN (err...thinking quickly on the fly here) COUNCIL OF SCIENTIFIC INQUIRY! (yes, that will do nicely.)

Whatta fjuckin' cake job!

Haha...silly rabbit - TRIX ARE FOR KIDS!!

No foolish cartoon children, trix are for everybody! We - by "we" I mean everyone out here in the real world - are trixed day in and day out, and nobody stops the silly rabbit, he just shows up in another form, in another venue, and KEEPS FJUCKING TRIXING US!

I for one, would like the dang Coyote Gjod to appear and eat up that dang rabbit, cause this particular WCB Correspondent want's an end to it. Could we just go a year without this rabbit crap? The King of the Swamp People has not forgotten! Hell, you don't want the King to start commanding me to link to shit, because it. Won't. End.

I'm tired of paying attention to the stuff that's important, and never gets mentioned. I've got other things to do. But I am watching...and if that fjuckin' rabbit shows up one more time, I'm going to grab it by it's silly cartoon throat, and twist it till the fjuckin' head pops off.

Whew...guess this post is a fine reason not to drink and blog ina heatwave.

Still, I mean every word.

I'm watchin you...fjuckin' rabbit.

We lost a fellow watcher yesterday, which makes me sad. This isn't his best piece, but it's worth hearing, nevertheless.



Anybody left to take his place? Me wonders...

Mebby this dude?

Always Happens...

I start plugging some stupid story, and the next thing you know, something pops up to support it. Like this!

In fact, there are no rooms, only corridors, with corpses two deep if they are standing, and three or more if lying along the walls.

Yeah...only they ain't corpses, they're frikken mummies!!

(found at boing boing)

(dunno why the pic gots cut off...but click on it if ya wanna see the whole mummy-frying action)

Tonight Your Friday Post

Will be this video!

(Please take notes, there will be a test on this later)

Pepper

'Ere's a little palate clenser

from the last one...

The Big Picture - Really nice, big pictures.

The Bill Of Rights?

When did that thing ever do me any good? Can't say, but we here at the WCB of Fjord still kinda' like the little guy.

***

Today is National IV Amendment Defense Day - there's a big vote today in the House, and it does appear if it passes (which, at the moment, seems it will) one of the fundamental rights you thought you had ('ere in the good 'ole U.S.of A) doesn't mean exactly what you thought it did.

Our rep's kinda' sprung this on us all sneakily...so if you can call a few of 'em and say WTF? - real quick-like, they might get a little worried. That's what we want. Find yers here.

I did it yesterday, and it's pretty easy...in fact, I actually called my Rep's office AND MY REP (Diane Watson) ACTUALLY PICKED UP THE PHONE!

***UPDATE***
Too late. It's a done deal in the House. They debated for an hour, and gave away the store. At least we still have...err, about six amendments left...

I'm off to do something important...like drink a lot and huff some paint.

The Oooozeining

Yes, creativity that normally flows thru my brain like liquid fire, has now, officially, slowed to the pace of ooze. Hopefully this will just be for today.

I'll just leave you with this little question.
"What are you spending your "economic stimulus check" on?"

I'm still debating...but I think I'm gonna put it somewhere safe until I have an ider that is totally awesome! If you have any suggestions for me, feel free to leave one in the comments. (if it's spending it on you...please remember, I'm rather miffed that nobody got me a Cinco De Mayo gift)

More exhibits...

Cows and kangaroos, equally dumb?

Exhibit "M"


Exhibit "N"


For those of you new to the series...here's the previous exhibits...
The first...
Exhibit B
Exhibit C (definately one of my fave's)
E & F
G
J,K,&L

And in a brilliant act of blogging one-upsmanship, it seems our pal rhino has started a series of "Why humans are dumber than cows or kangaroos" I'm sure there will be many, many fine exhibits in that piece.

!! Mummy News !! Mummy News !! Mummy News !!

It seems that the Egyptian government has hired Robert Ballard (The fellow who found the Titanic wreck - amongst other underwater relics) to find the sarcophagus of Menkaure - the Pharaoh buried in the third largest pyramid at Giza.

Read the whole super-interesting story right here.

Incase that link doesn't last...here's a nice little bit.

Built from polished blue basalt to transport the king's earthly remains to the next world, the elaborately decorated vessel lay hidden inside the third-largest of Giza's renowned Pyramids for more than 4,000 years. In 1837 the British colonel Richard William Howard Vyse blasted his way into Menkaure's sepulchral chamber using gunpowder and discovered the stone casket.

The mummy was missing by that time — ancient Arabic graffiti indicated that the colonel was not the first to find the chamber — and he realised that his discovery could open the way for a new generation of grave robbers. “As the sarcophagus would have been destroyed had it remained in the Pyramid,” he noted in his diaries, “I resolved to send it to the British Museum.”

So the fellow puts it on a ship, and the ship runs into a storm and sinks. For a few hundred years this sarcophagus has been resting at the bottom of the Mediterranean, and now they want to find it, and if anyone can, it'll be Ballard - that's just what he does.

However, knowing me, you know I can't just let it ride like that, so here's a few ideas.
1)Menkaure's mummy was missing when Vyse got there...it's implied that vandals took him, however, wouldn't that be the perfect ruse for a mummy? Paint some graffiti on the walls - make it look like he'd been stolen - and hide out in another secret pyramid chamber.

-or-

2)Menkaure was in the sarcophagus, Vyse new it and lied, and the mummy got pissed when being shipped away from his home, so he used his mummy powers to summon up a storm big enough to sink it...knowing in 200 years or so, his people would come looking for him, and bring him back.

-or-

3)Menkaure was in the sarcophagus, tricked Vyse into thinking he wasn't, because where on earth is a mummy safer - than in a museum? Looked after, preserved, protected...it's PERFECT! But, some agents - supernatural or otherwise, realized this act had to be stopped, and sank the ship. After all - who wants the third most powerful mummy in the world on the loose, or worse, TOTALLY PROTECTED AGAINST DESTRUCTION! Now, after 200 years, Menkaure has finally orchestrated his watery prison jail-break, and according to plan, will be found, pulled from the sea floor, and...PLACED IN A MUSEUM!

I'm going with #3, but feel free to draw your own conclusions.

The Big Bang...Universes...that kind of junk

So a week and a half ago, I saw this story on the Beeb, and was struck by the implications. Here's one of the munny quotes...

Dr Adrienne Erickcek, from the California Institute of Technology (Caltech), and colleagues now believe these fluctuations contain hints that our Universe "bubbled off" from a previous one.
(...)
Their model suggests that new universes could be created spontaneously from apparently empty space. From inside the parent universe, the event would be surprisingly unspectacular.

The problem was, I couldn't quite get my head around what this all ment...so I just dropped it. However, Warren Ellis has a nice take on it.

Getting Closer...

Got a couple of juicy stories I'll be posting about tomorrow...

Tune in then...
same fjord time
same fjord channel.

Not a lot on the intertubes...

Tonite to catch my attention. Maybe there's never that much out here, in the tubes. Maybe it's nothing but stupid stuff blown waaaay out of proportion. Or maybe it's just one of my virtual friends just showed up in real life on a whim, and I have to offer a very real experience to a very solid human, that up till now I've only ever known from digital packets.

And the latter, my fine friendly Fjordlings...is a moment I hope you all can experience. This internet thing is real don'tcha know. Sometimes when you reach towards the digital void, the digital void really physically reaches back...and fjucking grabs you!

Are you going to be ready if it actually happens?