Always Happens...(part II of six billion)

So I'm floggin some stupid story, and something pops up to support it, like this!

(Since I dunno the site, or how long the link'll last, I'm gonna paste the munny-quote fer future blogger archaeologists) (blogoligist? Hmm, possibly...anyhoo, back to the post!)

Matthew McConaughey lost more than his flip-flops during a recent surfing trip to Nicaragua - thieves made off with his cellphone and $2,000 (€1,264) in cash.

The movie star was reportedly carried home drunk from a bar in San Juan Del Sur after standing on tables asking patrons to help him find his missing flip-flops - and then allegedly passing out.

His bar pals took him back to his hotel room and put him to bed but left his door wide open when they left to go home - and that's when opportunists struck, according to sources.

**
I'm pretty sure my bit went something like this...
"Wearing flip-flops is like giving up, and announcing to the entire animal kingdom - I AM HELPLESS PREY - EAT ME!"

I suppose the only thing worse than sending out that signal by wearing flip-flops, is actually BROADCASTING TO ANYONE IN HEARING RANGE THAT YOU HAD LOST YOUR "I AM HELPLESS PREY -EAT ME" SIGNAL SENDING FOOTWEAR - AND NEED HELP TO FIND THEM!

My Gjod, it's literally unfathomable.

Staunchly Opposed To This Footwear...

"Flip-flops" or "thongs" - Just cannot for the life of me get behind this hideously ugly, and demonically impractical abomination of "shoe."

This little article brings a little research to the subject (yes, it appears they actually spent money looking at this...sigh...I coulda' just told em.

The Auburn team videotaped 39 flip-flop-wearing volunteers and noticed how they scrunched their toes to keep the flip-flip on the foot while the heel lifted in the air. This motion stretches the plantar fascia, the connective tissue that runs from heel to toe, causing inflammation, pain along the sole, heel spurs and tired feet in general.

These symptoms were actually what flip-flop wearers at Auburn University had reported upon returning to classes in the fall. An entire summer of flip-flop wearing had taken its toll.

The researchers also found that the volunteers altered their gait , taking shorter strides and turning their ankles inward, likely to keep the flip-flop from falling off. This, the researchers worry, can cause long-term ankle and hip problems.

Of course, this study does nothing to touch on a more important fact, which is - if you turned the corner wearing these awful things, and were confjronted by a rabid dog, (or a pack of coyotes, wolverines, angry possums, mountain puma, hell insert yours here) you my friend, would be in big trouble. Running is out, kicking for self-defense is out, yer just screwed. Creatures in nature have a whole array of of signals to warn predators of bad consequences - the skunk, the porcupine, the wasp, hell even the Monarch butterfly is colorful because it's poisoness! Wearing flip-flops is like giving up, and announcing to the entire animal kingdom - I AM HELPLESS PREY - EAT ME!

This, however, does not.

Yep, signals.

You are sending them all the time. Just sayin'.