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Ohmygodomygod...OH MY GJOD!

It's what I've suspected all along!















Great tits cope well with warming





(The author remains firmly behind the headline...the story...not so much)

A Unique Response

To finding yourself on the wrong end of government authorities, proven innocent, yet still on their watchlist because it's impossible to get off.

Here's a brief clip from the Colbert Report, which, while funny, actually gives the deets.



There's something just too strange about this...yet, there's something super great about it too. Like, along the lines of "Fjuck you authority...here's where I've been THE WHOLE TIME"

You can gaze in wonder where Hasan Elahi is, and was, and at the powers of self surveillance at his site right here. It does sort of fulfill yer standard blogger's wet dream of making their whole live viewable for judgement from their commenters...but the sad thing is, it's kinda' really fjucking serious. I'd prefer to have this kind of information available for me to look at, in regards to my elected representatives. After all, they're supposed to be working for me.

Blogger Complaints

I have very few complaints when it comes to the blogger publishing system. They made some up-grades over the last couple of years which has really made it a solid system. I used to loose a post or two every couple of weeks. Now...it never happens. That's pretty good. However, after the last couple of picture-heavy posts, that is the one thing that I still have a gripe about.

Formatting where your pictures will go on the page, and how text will appear next to-or around said photos, is still amazingly cumbersome, and almost never publishes in the way you expect. That being said, it's possible to work around these layout shortcomings, but it would be nice if someone somewhere did a little work to improve this problem, that appears more often than you'd suspect.

Okey, back to your regularly scheduled Fjordcast...

Why...OH WHY DID I GIVE INTO THE MADNESS?!??

What with all the blimp madness, I appear to have angered the VOLCANO GODS! Crap crap crap. What do I have to do to appease thee!?!?

There's a nice gallery with more over here.

Just Giving Into The Blimp Madness

Well why the hell not? Here's some shots I got whilst visiting the Goodyear Airship Operations Center just a little while ago.

(Clicking should embiggen...if you like that sort of thing)

Some Coyote News

This really isn't very high on the "wow that's crazy" meter, but I needed to post this quote.

"People cannot be ambivalent about coyotes," said Harry Morse, spokesman for the California Department of Fish and Game. "When that coyote starts toward you, it's not coming to be nice."

Good advice people...remember it for later.

More Blimps??!!?? What the #*%@?

So in perusing the local Craigslist for potential new moneymaking endevors, I came across this. Since this is bound to evaporate into the webmonster after too long, here's the text for future generations.

Feel free to skim...it's only amazing with the bizarre blimp mojo I'm dealing with at the moment.

Airship Pilot (Los Angeles, CA (Gardena, CA))

Be a part of the famous Goodyear tradition.

Are you an aviator who is passionate about flying? Are you an excellent communicator who is comfortable speaking to groups of people and the media? Do you have the outstanding management skills required to oversee the airship team? If this sounds like you, this could be your chance to pilot one of the world's most recognized symbols, the Spirit of America! This is a rare and exciting opportunity for a dedicated aviator to experience the control and handling of an aircraft as unique as the Goodyear blimp. Not only that, you will have the opportunity to earn your “Lighter-Than-Air Certification” as a Goodyear Blimp Pilot! Even if you already have it, you've got to admit that the chance to pilot one of the world's most recognized icons is just too great to pass up.

The Goodyear Tire & Rubber Company is as famous for our blimps as we are for our tires and other automotive products… if not more so. We launched our first airship, the Pilgrim, in 1925 and now all three Goodyear icons - the Spirit of Goodyear, the Spirit of America and the Spirit of Innovation - fly year-round throughout the US. There's a certain magic that goes along with the challenge of being professionally involved with a Goodyear airship. You can discover that feeling yourself when you join us at our Los Angeles, California-area blimp airfield as a Pilot.

As a Goodyear Blimp Pilot, you will operate an assigned airship safely, effectively and efficiently to assure optimum utilization of that aircraft for favorable exposure of the Goodyear name. In concert with the Pilot-in-Charge, the Pilot accomplishes public relations assignments by planning, organizing, directing, operating, maintaining and administering a specific airship operation which includes airship, personnel and ground support equipment. The pilot also acts as the Goodyear Blimp Spokesperson, speaking to the public and the media, fielding questions and ensuring that the Goodyear reputation for excellence and professionalism is never compromised. As the sole pilot aboard, the Pilot commands and is responsible for the aircraft and functional operation during take-off, flight and landing. Assists and assumes command in the absence of the Pilot-in-Charge in the supervision of operations personnel in order to fulfill operations' missions in compliance with FAA regulations and company policy.

Activities requiring outside contact include conferring with vendors, news media, airport management, motel managers (travel and tour arrangements) and the public, customers and potential customers. The Pilot assists in forward planning of airship mission requirements with respect to travel accommodations (airports and motels) and movement of the airship and ground support service vehicles and airship personnel. Additionally, the pilot assists the Pilot-in-Charge in ensuring compliance with all company standard practices and policies.

While flying the airship, the Pilot will obtain maximum exposure of the company name by achieving optimum flight time of the airship through pilot and crew efforts. Note: Optimum flight time to meet public relations requirements within the safety and operations parameters of airship design.

The pilot assists in reviewing, evaluating and controlling airship operations functions in order to maintain and operate an efficient, safe and professionally staffed flying operation.

Traveling up to 180 days per year with consecutive extended periods, the Airship Pilot guides the Goodyear Blimp to a variety of venues throughout the United States that can include NFL, NBA, MLB, college football and NASCAR events, as well as the Academy Awards.

Requirements include:
Current Commercial Pilot with instrument rating (airplane or helicopter rating) with minimum 500 hours
Minimum of a high school diploma or equivalent
Minimum second-class medical certificate
Willingness to travel for extended periods of time
Preferred, but not required:
Commercial Lighter-Than-Air Airship rating
A & P certification
Certified Flight Instructor
FCC license
CDL
College degree

Goodyear, with marketing operations in nearly every country around the world, offers a highly competitive compensation package commensurate with education and experience, as well as the opportunity to work with an industry leader. Please note that this position does not offer relocation assistance.
If you meet the above criteria and are interested in working in a rewarding, yet challenging environment, please apply online at https://goodyear.recruitmax.com/eng/candidates/, select the “search” button under the Job Search section to view the Pilot position.

Man - whadda job! If I only stuck with my original plan, and got my Commercial lighter-than-air Airship rating. Oh well, maybe next time.

Does anybody know who now controlls Max Headroom?

Because I'd love to see him pop back. I really would.

Hell - I'd love to write the words coming out of his mouth!

The last post was done on a whim...seriously

I did not know that today was the day...in 1937, the Hindenburg Zeppelin blew up!

Here's a couple more shots of it not blowing up...

How about some blimp action?

Sure, why not.

Here's something old...



And something new.




And then there's this...

The Next Level

Pretty coo...

Pretty Funny.

A guy describing a car accident on the phone to a friend.

May 5th? No! Cinco de Mayo!

We get a lot of the Latino vibe here in Los-Angeleeze, and I for one, welcome any holidaze that make any excuse for drinking mexican beer. (or any kind of beer, actually) But, this was the first time I actually looked up what happened May 5th in Mexico. Here's a brief rundown, and over here's a little different take from the online encyclopedia.

Anyhoo getting back to Mexican beer...I prefer Sol to the other usual suspects. Why? Because magical things like this happen!



However, that being said, I don't mind supporting the Corona people, even tho their stuff isn't as good. Just because I like seeing things like the following on my teevee, Corona commercials stand out because they are so amazingly calm and quiet. The difference It always reminds me how desperate the television people are to keep your attention. Advertising like this works much better for me.



As well, their products are pretty cool. If any of you have a cool $500 and wanna get me a Cinco de Mayo gift. This would be sweeeeeet.

Ahhh, Pirates...

How many times has your news saved me from actually writing a new post?

Well, here's one that's pretty dry, but it's got video!

It's not as good as this one, which was from last month...but is a lot more interesting, plus it also has smugglers!

***Update***

Here's an amazing map of pirate activity off of the coast of Somalia! There's a ton of information on here - it's worth the PDF download...promise.

Mr Pigglesworth and Mr Gimpson VS The Evil-Eye!

"I say Gimpson," asked Mr. Pigglesworth, "do you place any weight to the notion of the evil eye?"

Mr Gimpson put down his newspaper, and shifted his slippered feet on the ottoman, looking at his friend. "You mean those with a power over dark forces, with which they might becurse a man who crosses their path with an unsavory look?"

"The very same."

"I don't give any weight to it whatsoever. Why do you ask Pigglesworth?"

Mr Pigglesworth walked to the fireplace, which now held only glowing embers, placed a new log upon the grate, and used a poker to summon a small tongue of flame licking over the new wood. "You remember my pocketwatch had recently stopped?"

"Of course, you complained about it last weekend." Gimpson frowned, "Since you hadn't mentioned it, I had assumed you had taken care of it."

"Well, after mentioning it, I felt I shouldn't bring it up again. However, earlier today I went to the watch repair shop, to have it seen to."

"What was the problem?" Gimpson asked.

"A gear had broken a tooth, which had become lodged in another, preventing it from moving. It took all of five minutes to fix." Pigglesworth watched the fire, which was now happily cracking, and moved to sit upon the sitting chair opposite Gimpson.

"Well that's a relief." said Gimpson.

"Yes. However, outside the watch repair shop, I was accosted by five Gypsy urchins who wanted money."

"Not an uncommon occurrence for a dweller of a metropolis."

"Of course." Said Pigglesworth. He squirmed in his chair for a moment, then rose to fix himself a drink. He looked over at Gimpson as he poured scotch from a crystal decanter, "But as I was pushing my way through the rabble, and knocking their hands away from my pockets and other valuable items, an old Gypsy hag emerged suddenly from around the building, and in my haste, I stepped on her foot!"

"I say!" Exclaimed Gimpson.

"Quite." Said Pigglesworth as he took a sip of his drink. "So the woman says, "'Ere Govn'a, shouldn'a treat my youngins as tha they was the plauge! Alls they wanna is a Shillin'." Well, I responded by begging her pardon for stepping on her foot, but stated that I wasn't about to give anyone my money, especially after being molested in such an uncouth manor."

"Then what happend!?" Gimpson asked excitedly.

Mr. Pigglesworth continued his tale. ""Uncouth!" She spit at me, which she really did, as she had no upper teeth, "I'll show ye uncouth! 'Ave a gaze 'ere at my evil-eye!" at which she gave me the most foul look I have ever seen on a human's face."

"My word old chap," said Gimpson, "has anything unfortunate befallen you since then?"

Pigglesworth Moved back to his chair, settled down more comfortably than the first time. "Well, I was nearly run over by a dogcart near Trafalgar, a load of roofing slate fell from the top of Lloyds and crashed practically at my feet, and as I went to the shed for more firewood, I discovered a nest of possums, three of which made for my ankles! Luckily I wasn't wearing loafers."

"It does seem as if you've had your share of near things today. Do you give weight to this Gypsy woman's evil-eye?"

"Against my better judgement, I would guess there may be something to it." Pigglesworth stood up, refilled his glass, and had another sip. He stood by the fire for a moment, then drew himself up and spoke in a more defiant tone. "Now Gimpson, you know I'm a rational man, I believe in science and technology, and won't be drawn into believing in curses! But I daresay I see the old hag's look each time I blink. It's unnerving."

"Pixies!" Gimpson said.
"Pixies?" Pigglesworth looked over confused.
"Pixies. Gimpson stated as if he was done speaking about it.
"Gimpson," asked Pigglesworth, "what do you mean, Pixies?"
"You remember when I used to rent rooms out of the old Holdenhurst Mannor?"

"Of course, they were quite stately...gave you quite a respectable front I might add."

"Yes. But did I ever tell you why I left those stately rooms to take up diggings with you?" Gimpson asked knowingly.
"No."
"Old Holdenhurst Mannor was haunted will all manner of spooks. There was one horrifying apparition which frequented my rooms, which appeared in spectral form with a bloody stump for a neck, and carried it's head under an arm. The head would then hurl a huge vocabulary of insults at me, and then laugh madly."

"My god Gimpson, how often did this happen!?"
"Nightly!"
"You lived there for nearly two years! How did you maintain your sanity!?"

"Pigglesworth, it is why I mentioned Pixies. Whenever I saw things which I think should shake me, I knew that they were impotent in the material plane. However, they did scare me. But that's when I remembered the Pixies, small mischievous fairy creatures which mean no good to mortal man, but really capable of only small tricks. Each time I was faced with such things, I would just think to myself, it's only Pixies playing tricks. And that's how I mastered that! You should try it for yourself."

"You're saying, this old Gypsy hag who gave me the evil-eye was nothing more than a trick played on me by three-inch fairy creatures?"

"Yes! If you're believing in Gypsy curses, you may as well believe in Pixies. And if you believe that, I'd say a Pixie trick is a lot easier to deal with than a Gypsy curse."

Pigglesworth looked at his friend, pondered for a few moments, and without thinking drained the rest of his glass. It appeared that he had made up his mind, because he smiled slightly.

"Pixies!" He laughed, "Who would have thought I'd run into Pixies in the middle of London, right outside the watch repair shop! Gimpson, you've made me much happier. I am in your debt for your take on this affair."

"Not at all, my good man, not at all. Now then, either we spend the rest of the night making some manner of Pixie trap, or we could go to the billiard hall, and see if we can overcome Pixie mischief with the logical physics of solid balls being struck with a stout cue!"

"Capital idea Gimpson. I'll fetch my cloak."



Happy Friday

***Update! Incase you haven't seen the previous adventures of Mr. Pigglesworth and Mr. Gimpson, you can find them directly below!***

Episode One

Episode Two

Episode Three

Episode Four

Episode Five

Hoooo Boy, Whadda Week!

There might be hundreds, nay thousands of words I could use to describe this horrific beast, but I won't. (crap, there's two)

All I will say with true emotion is I FOUND MY HAT!

That's so awesome.

I suppose you're wondering why I haven't

Done anything on the Giant Squid dissection. Well, it's cause it's super boring. There's nothing there at all. Here's a link with video. It will put you to sleep. There's nothing there but a giant lifeless blob that barely looks like a squid, and that's why I don't care. Maybe it's ennui setting in, or maybe, like from my last post, I'm just getting tired of the novelty of the internet...but the internet is boring me to death. Maybe it's just time Pigglesworth and Gimpson had another adventure.

Anyhoo...over here are some awesomely beautiful photos of shipwrecks.

I have this little quote

From Warren Ellis - from some interview he did a little while ago. I printed it out, and cut the paper so I could have it lying around making clutter in the vast kitchens of the Casa Aloha Resort and Spa. (soon to be casino - but I have some legal hoops to jump thru to prove I'm part Native American - but that's another, and hopefully massively profitable, story. Anyhoo - the part of the quote I like best is the last bit, which goes like this.

"The motor of innovation and novelty is really kind of cranked up right now, but, in contrast, the general culture is still in a sort of post-millennial shock, just laying there and drooling over its nipples."

There's something really important in there...I can feel it. I can sense it. He's right, but, I just can't quite get my head around what it is, or what it means.

According to the free online encyclopedia "...culture is generally refers to patterns of human activity and the symbolic structures that give such activities significance and importance."

Well, that's rather vague...but maybe that's the point. Trying to reimagine, reinvent, or just create new symbolic structures that give meaning to patterns of human activity ain't like doing yer laundry. It's (seems to me) about creating something (art, relationships, organizations, I dunno...add yers here) that is not only understandable to a vast majority of the population, but is powerful enough to fundamentally alter the meaning of how people relate to the world around them.

Yeah, well, that's a stab at it. I'm not saying that's correct, nor am I saying if it is correct, that I have any idea of how to make something that powerful, much less make something that powerful, that would actually work. I just wanted to shoot this into the webmonster, for consideration.

Just to letcha' know

The Big Boys are finally catching up to the Penis Shrinking story we broke last week!

Haha, no, not those Big Boys, I ment the Major League Media Demons, like this guy...

Well this sucks...

I'm gone for a few days and everything's busted.