fjord

Wednesday, October 01, 2008

Exhibits "S" & "T"

You'll have to trust me on this one...the intro, and V.O. are horrible. The video, not so bad.

Now...here's another, with less crap.

Tuesday, September 30, 2008

Really...Stay away from any and all Mummies!

Like this for instance.

Your munny quote:
"The BBC's Mark Duff, in Milan, says Oetzi has brought nothing but bad luck to many of those involved in his discovery.

Mr Simon died in a mountaineering accident in 2004, and six other people linked to the discovery in some way have died in apparently mysterious circumstances. "

I couldn't find a good clip

of the fire-hose fight scene from Transporter 2...so this'll have to do.

Monday, September 29, 2008

Okey - Just saw this chunka' politics

and thought it was awesome.

Since it kinda' trumps the ole' King in the post below...I'm just gonna give you the yooo-tube link rite here.

The King of the Swamp People, (once again) IS NOT PLEASED!

The Herald walks amidst the gathered mob who have been milling about for the last week DEMANDING that something be done about the financial crisis. The two trumpeters blow fourth regal notes on trumpets that look and sound similar to something you would expect at the beginning of a horse-race.

The Herald unfulrls a huge scroll, and proceeds to read.

"The King of the Swamp People (The Herald makes a sweeping gesture at the crowd, implying all are swamp people) declares a question to his subjects.

Why are you angry!? Why do you approach his palace (the Superdome) demanding justice? Why do you look for restitution from his merciful yet terrible and bloodthirsty wrath? When the one decree he made is STILL UNDONE! Did you not understand when he made his ONE decree, that it had farther-reaching results than merely decorating the walls of his palace with another head on a pike? No, the example of Kenneth Lay's corpse was to serve as a warning of the consequences of unchecked greed to ALL OTHER bastards who worship at the alter of their God MOO-LAAAH, who put their greed before anything else.

Instead, you did NOTHING! For more than TWO YEARS, the mighty KING OF ALL SWAMP PEOPLE has waited. Now, the consequence of your inaction is to now beg the King for help, for relief! If you had acted two years ago, THIS CRISIS OF FINANCIAL COLLAPSE would never have happened! If you expect the King to act in order to help you, the King expects you to finally, AT LONG LAST, COMPLETE THE VERY SIMPLE TASK OF HIS ONE DECREE!"

The Herald rolls up his scroll, gives a contemptuous sneer at the Swamp People, and walks away. The trumpeters, looking at the angry mob who just received this news, scurry after with much less dignity.

(**update** after reading the links it seems as tho the King has gotten better trumpeters. The author suggests merely that the King has not been idle)

(btw...here's the follow up post for the original decree)

5 million ways...

to kill a CEO.

The visuals are really nice in this one.

Thursday, September 25, 2008

The pleasure of paying more for less

Okay - I promise this won't be about the current economic news...it'll be bigger AND BETTER!

(P.S. - does anyone think the "cracked" media player (from like 4 posts ago) is causing this page to load really slow? - might just be me, my innernets/compooter is terrible these days - but I'd be happy to hear anyone's thoughts)

Now then, back to business. (b2b would be a good text shortening, dontchathink?) So okey my lovely fjordinite readers, lemme pose you this question.

What holds it's value?

Like, in a natural disaster like the Tsunami, or Katrina, where whole metropolis or region-sized disasters wipe out all systems of power, transportation, supply - hell - civilization...water holds it's value. Food holds it's value. Guns and swords hold their value, for forcing those with water and food to give them up, or protecting your own food and water. Thas mothafjuckin' anarchy...and is quite a bit different than what I'm talking about.

But in a short-term catastrophe, priorities are different than in a longer-term breakdown like, say a full-on-global-economic depression.

I'm sayin' I've got, say, 3-grand in mutual funds that I know are going to be worth less and less in a global depression. However, in a depression, the water system will still (mostly) work, but maybe cash won't be worth much more than the paper it's printed on. So what holds it's value? Gold? Well, gold will always have some value, but gold will only be worth what the seller of goods will demand. Gold will loose it's value to local exchange rates.
(If you need a fork-lift palette of canned beans valued at $1,000.00 and have a 4 oz bar of gold valued at $4,000.00 and the guy with the beans says, okay - gimme the gold-bar for the palette or no deal, you give him the gold for the food you need, loosing $3,000.00 worth of other goods and services. (- Gold coins might be a better alternative, but same diff. in the overall market strategy.)

So, weapons seem like a good choice, have a lot of firearms on hand for trading for valuable things. A loaded Beretta is worth a lot of aspirin...hell, a ton of aspirin. But problematically, once you start trading weapons for stuff, the weapons you trade from your stockpile can be used against you. Especially once you're known as someone who has a lot of weapons. That trade exponentially increases your danger - so I think that has to be ruled out as a place to put your money now.

Strangely, I also don't think something as simple as massed amounts of canned food is a good investment either...since there may be a crash which really doesn't effect the food supply, or local production will be enough to supply demand with only shortages of imported grains/fruits/meat, and then you're left with a whole mess of practically valueless foodstuffs.

So what would hold value? In a long-term full-on-global economic depression that will hit in ways we haven't dealt with since the 1930's...yet different, as certain systems of supply we enjoy, won't be wiped out...but it's impossible to predict which ones will vanish.

So, what to buy with whatever capital you have left before the markets collapse...that will hold value in a depression...that won't spoil during a time in storage...and something you can store easily (in your house or apartment), something you can break up into negotiated units per-local market value - and also something with which you can influence your own local market-price for, and something that won't make you an overt target for more violent groups that will certainly operate with an underfunded (and easily corrupted) law-enforcement authority?

Wow, tough one.

My guess? Booze, or medicine.

Both can be stored easily, and broken into tradeable (sp?) units.

A bottle of whisky can be used to purify a lot of water, (which could be a problem) used medicinally (say before (or after) an ad-hock surgery) or just for forgetting how crappy life is at the moment and to have a good time. It's also going to be worth more as supply grows thin, and it will, pretty quick.

A bottle of Tylenol is probably going to still be found in lots of places, but it'll be worth 50-100 bucks at least, in stores that can stock it and still take cash. Yet it would be super valuable to people with limited access to any form of healthcare. Toothaches, headaches, backaches, inflamed joints, fever -these are going to be rampant. A few pills could getcha a couple days food - easy.

Both, which might not end up all that scarce, (heck could be the only things getting thru) but they could still be traded under market value for other tangible goods. Now, you know I'm just guessin' here, and I know there's a buncha stuff I haven't considered, but more than a few fortunes have been made in an economic breakdown. I'm really just wondering - if I take all the money I have in every account and buy something that would truly hold it's value, what would it be?

Wednesday, September 24, 2008

So then...

Why did the LHC break down?

(not saying it's this, but it's innerestin')

Okey - Okey...yer right...

enough with alllllll that. Instead I present this palate cleanser.

Fountains for all!

Monday, September 22, 2008

Haha! I wuz talkin' about deleting the internet...

Turns out, I shoulda' been talking about deleting YOUR MONEY!

Hahahaha! No, seriously, I'm sure we're all going to be fine.
(if, in the near fjuture Fjord stops transmitting, we are not fine...everyone is totally fjucked)

(do not quit your day-job)
Anywise, here's a jont you can peruse if you want to get a little better take on what's going down.

Friday, September 19, 2008

Well now...

I start typin' stuff about deleting the internet, and this shows up on my compooter screen.

Astonishing? Coincidence? Probly not.

Thursday, September 18, 2008

Howabout some sprinkles on your new

85-billion dollar insurance company? Turns out, the USA might have gotten their mitts on a real-live English football team!

Politics...yarrrg

I only wanted to link to this because of a fantastic idea it brought up. (you have to get to the end before it appears...or just skip to the last paragraph.)

Q: Is it possible to just delete the internet?
A: Shit yeah it is.

I've flogged this idea more than a few times here...the internet is not a magazine, it's not a show, it's not an archive for everything humanity has created. (altho it is all those things)

The internet is just a signal. The biggest money making signal that anyone has ever concocted because it has EVERYTHING on it.

Some might claim it's too big to fail. I'd claim there are a few fingers that could hit a few power-buttons on a few uber-powerful servers, and it's all gone. You tune into static enough times, you move on to a different channel.

Not that I'm buyin' stock in newspapers or anything, I'm just pushin' a little idea...

Don't Forget

Today's Talk Like A Pirate Day...

to rip a quote from me, 10 days ago...

I say, nay shout..."ARRR! SET THE CONTRRROLLS FOR THE HEART OF ALL SUBATOMIC MATTERRRRR!"
(Then adjusting eyepatch)
"Rolllll out the guns!
Hoist the Jolly Rrrrodger!
Preparrr to plundarrr the riches of quantummm spaaace!"

(edited slightly for enhanced pirate vernacular)

Couple O' Long Videos to Occupy Yer Precious Time

Clifford Stoll. I dunno who he is, but it's interesting. (Vid is 17:50 long)

Here's Jon Stewart with Tony Blair (Vid is like 21:00 long)

(Both from reddit - which is a great place to waste yer time on smaller things too.)

Denial, Faith, Hope, Belief

Riddle me this. What is the difference?

Okey...so I wuz over at Rhino's joint, makin a comment about a par-tic-u-lar-ly though provokin' piece. (very beeee-careful, this post ain't fer the faint-o-heart, nor those lookin fer internet time-passin - it'll mean something) and I found myself writin' this, and realized I shouldn't take up comment space fer it. In fact, it's been something on my brain for a long while. And It's at least post-size, so here I am. This is the skinny - I was about to write, this:

"People often make a stink about being in "denial". Strangely, I think that's a word misinterpreted, instead of a weakness, it's laden with power. How else you gonna convince yerself you can achive more than you already have?"

Now, I dig this line is probly going to throw you in a different direction than I'm headin', so let's get a few things square before we move on.

Here's the wiki-dictionary's take on denial:
a person is faced with a fact that is too uncomfortable to accept and rejects it instead, insisting that it is not true despite what may be overwhelming evidence.

So, here's the same source's take on faith: (author's aside, not as easy to edit down-it's laden with religious meaning)
a belief in the trustworthiness of an idea.

And here's the same source describing hope:
a belief in a positive outcome related to events and circumstances in one's life. Hope implies a certain amount of despair, wanting, wishing, suffering or perseverance — i.e., believing that a better or positive outcome is possible even when there is some evidence to the contrary

Finally, here's the same source's definition of Belief:
Belief is the psychological state in which an individual holds a proposition or premise to be true.

(One more author's aside right here)
Well now, I'm going to say that these are definitions from wikipedia - which certainly can't be taken as "dictionary" or even "encyclopedia" based "facts," but I'm pretty sure there's been enough people who took exceptions (on many, many different interpretations) to the definition over the course of wikipedia's lifespan, to whittle these down to where they're at, and this is a consensus.
(end aside)

So - this brings me back to where I was at more than a number of years ago when I came up with the idea of the human condition being nothing more than some inherent power within each one of us that hears the alarm clock that knows - "Today will be better than yesterday." Now, I have no proof - or even personal speculation - that a mountain puma or grizzly bear doesn't wake up and think the exact same thing...but I do know how I've delt with a number of bad occurrances on bad days, which is something along the lines of "Forget about it. It will be better tomorrow." (it never works because of long-term memory, which I've talked about (just the 2nd and 3rd paragraphs 2 proove a point) before )

Yeah, so anyhoo - lemmy get back to denial, and give it a Fjord-edit just a bit, to this:
a person is faced with a fact and rejects it, despite evidence.

Oooh -quite negative! Boooo! Rejecting facts is for morons! Up with Faith, Hope and Belief! Down with Denial! Down with you, I say!

Ooop - hang on...

(of course you knew this was coming...it's Fjord after all)

Denial is the only one of these four words that does not have the word "belief" in it's actual definition. Also, the only word to have any negative connotation. Yet, belief is simply - the psychological state in which an individual holds a proposition or premise to be true - with or without evidence. If yer still with me, then it's obvious that Hope and Faith hang their hats on the same peg that Denial does.

Will you wake up tomorry and:

A) Deny the evidence to the contrary, and make it a better day?

B) have Faith that tomorrow will become better than yesterday?

C) Hope that you can do better today than yesterday?

D) Believe that whatever's next will be better than what came before?

This last bit could have been written different, sure. Mebby you can do better.

(bring it, I'd love to be challenged on this)

Yet, which answer is the most pro-active in our reality? Seems to me more than a few people who pump up faith and hope and belief are stuck in denial. Same gravitational vortex here with thoughts and words...interesting the meaning each one carries with it, no?

Which one gets you out of bed?

Well, I, for one, wish you all to wake up tomorrow in massive denial.

-Tsunami-

000oh, that last one was 1,100!

Keeping the hits rolling...

this one's a sweet-arsed animation bit.

The Continuing..."Exhibit R!"

This should be an interesting lesson. Would you let a cow get away with this shit?

KANGOUROU (REMI GAILLARD)
by nqtv

Vikin Fjord News!

9 medieval ships found in Oslo.

munney quote...
"the find will help fill gaps in knowledge of vessels between Norwegian Viking ships of about 1,000 years ago and more modern vessels."

Awesome!

I been worried about that gap.

Waaaay more than I should be.

Tuesday, September 16, 2008

Greetin's From The U.S. of A!!!

So I've taken a little time away from the compooter to do this and that, AND TO KEEP A EVER-FJUCKIN' VIGILANT EYE ON MY BANK! It's called Washington Mutual, or WAMU...and they are a mega-bank...with branches all over the place. (and went crazy with the early 21st Century lending craze (like everybody) and now own billions of dollars of worthless paper) They just had the value of their stock & credit downgraded to "junk" status. Which, I really don't know the actual dollar value of, but it's probably not much. Anywise, nobody knows if they'll get bought-out, or fold taking all their deposits with them as they go under.

Anyhoo - the funny bit is that...I don't have a job, my unemployment insurance is about to run out, (unless the Great Republic of California comes thru! C'mon Cali! I've always loved yoooooooo!) and what little money I have stuck in there, I really do need.

Wait, that's not the funny part.

The funny part is I gots me a financial adviser! Now, he does everything for "free" like, the kind of free where he tries to get me to give him a list of my friends who may "need" financial advising...which is how I got my first financial advisor originally, (from a "friend") who then left...or was fired, and replaced by two strong-armed-financial goons I wouldn't trust with two of my pennies, who were then replaced by my current adviser, who is actually a really cool dude. (and if I hadn't been so put-off by their organizations previous actions of hitting me up for all my friends contact info...well, I'd be more than happy to send him your stuff with the D.T. seal of approval.)

Okay...here's the funny part...he works under the umbrella of AIG, which is an insurance and financial services company. Why is that funny? Well...here's a tidbit from Reuters:

"NEW YORK (Reuters) - An $85 billion government rescue of insurer American International Group Inc looked increasingly likely on Tuesday to stave off a bankruptcy that would have thrown world markets back into turmoil.

The Federal Reserve will extend AIG $85 billion in exchange for a nearly 80 percent stake to bail out the troubled insurance giant, a person briefed on the matter said.
The deal would avoid the biggest corporate bankruptcy ever and follows a government bailout of mortgage lenders Freddie Mac and Fannie Mae just over a week ago."

(bold mine. -duh-)

So anyhoo - to put it bluntly,

this is where I'VE BEEN GETTING MY FINANCIAL ADVICE!

A company that needs an instant $85-BILLION DOLLAR LOAN to keep from collapsing into the biggest corporate bankruptcy ever - AND THROWING WORLD MARKETS INTO A TURMOIL!

Now when you look at the whole of my tale here, you'd have to admit, that's funny.

(and why I'm probably fjuckt)

Friday, September 12, 2008

Craig Ferguson

Always thought there was something appealing 'bout this late nite talkshow host...but he's on teevee a little later than I stay up. Just watched this tho...dang.

(Watch Quick - it'll probly get taken down soon.)
(P.S. Vid is 8:45 long)

All the Mummy News that's Fit to Print!

Oh man, this is too awesome!

BTW - there is no munny quote...it's all munny quotes. The whole dang thing!

But here's a sample:
Now what am I supposed to do? All my shit, the necklaces, that weird lion vase, the gold fucking daggers that I couldn't fucking wait to use, gone. I have nothing to wear. I have nothing to do. I guess I'll just lie here on the floor for the rest of eternity.

***

All kidding aside, if you want to read more about mummies, here's this tale about some Celtic mummies being found IN CHINA! (very long, but interesting...)

Thursday, September 11, 2008

Oh, one last thing...

I made last year. Still stands as written.

Dueling...

Am totally in favor, by the way, of settling differences by duel.

As you might remember, I think fjord is the only joint on the internets still pimping this.

However, there are a lot of subtle rules and choices that might change the whole lot of your typical conceptions of what exactly a duel might entail. Like a few examples over here.

So there's this to consider

"The difference between a good day and a bad one is your feeling of having actually done something."

(quote by me, from a pitifully small journal book which I recently started, that is strictly dedicated to ideas that are awesome, or designed to be inspiring.)

Shortly previous to above line,

Quoth the Q-Dog:

"Well, at least you're doing something that resembles something."

I'm sure someone's already thought of this but...

What if the Cern Particle Accelerator actually did destroy the Earth when it got turned on yesterday -but- at the exact same time created an exact duplicate Earth IN ANOTHER DIMENSION!

And in a miraculous event of physics...at the exact moment your physical (we'll call it Earth#1) body was being ripped apart to its component atoms...your consciousness migrated through a tiny wormhole into the other dimension - TO INHABIT YOUR DUPLICATE BODY in Earth#2!

Which, if you're still choosing to follow me on this, means (following to the next logical step) WE ARE NOW THE FIRST TRANS-DIMENSIONAL TRAVELLERS in all of humanity's history!

(that we know of...
man, it'd be weird if Buddha had already been here)

Update #1
But wait - if Earth #2 is an exact duplicate of Earth #1 - then that means there's a Cern smasher here that's just the same...and it's already on! And that means we're already on Earth #3! (or #5 or #37 - what the hell am I - a temporal physicist?) Anyhoo - there's clearly no going back now.

image and a whole lot more cool photos from here.

Wednesday, September 10, 2008

This is kinda cool

Find out how common your family name is throughout the world.

Tuesday, September 09, 2008

Huh...so incase you were wondering...

The oldest continuously used lighthouse is the Tower of Hercules. It dates back about 2000 years - from the time of the Romans.

One More Day! ("Refresh the parts that other beers cannot reach")

And humanity's most gargantuan science project will start rolling. Of course there have been some questions (and lawsuits) stating the scientists operating the CERN particle accelerator might cause a black hole that will eat the earth, or cause a strange subatomic reaction that will leave the earth a cold dead lump. But, there are grounds for optimism. (can't recall where I saw this yesterday, but some smart sounding guy said something like), "The odds of this happening are the same odds as you being vaporized while you're shaving."

So take that nay-sayers...

***

I say, nay shout..."ARRR! SET THE CONTROLLS FOR THE HEART OF ALL SUBATOMIC MATTER!"
(Then adjusting eyepatch)
"Roll out the guns!
Hoist the Jolly Rrrrodger!
Preparrr to plundarrr the riches of quantum spaaace!"

***

(I'm positive there are massive Spanish Galleons laden with treasure floating in there...why else would THE SWISS fund the project?
"The project was eventually approved in 1996 at a cost of 2.6bn Swiss Francs.")

Oh - there may be a glitch or two along the way...
"While working on the LHC's predecessor, a machine called the Large-Electron Positron Collider, engineers found two beer bottles wedged into the beam pipe - a deliberate, one-off act of sabotage.

The culprits - who were drinking a particular brand which advertising once claimed would "refresh the parts other beers cannot reach" - were never found."

Monday, September 08, 2008

Here's a fun little article

On how not to be seen.

Thursday, September 04, 2008

Any O' you 'member Carson?

He had his moments...

Incase youse gots a little more time on yer hands

You might wanna read/watch this. It's some business with Rage Against the Machine in Minneapolis/St.Paul (where the Republican Convention is going on rite now).

I've never been a Rage fan, but the video is pretty potent...and cool. And if you've got the heart to watch it till the 9:30 mark - it gets crazy awesome.

So take it or leave it - as you will.

If you've left it, here's a nice ditty from a group called the Poster Children.

Side note, in a small L.A. show, Rosie (their bass player) gave me a head-butt from the stage, which was about the highlight of that year for me.

You can find more of their fun stuffs here.

Here's a link to a bonus extra...incase you're still here killin' yer time.

Ah, I don't feel like concoctin' somtin astoundin

Altho U no I kood. Insteed, I'll just copy-n-paste this here 'stonishin' ting I just found.

Might remeber it from here.

I want my money back. I'm down here drowning in your fat. You got me on my knees praying for everything you lack. I ain't afraid of you. I'm just a victim of your fears. You cower in your tower praying that I'll disappear, I got another plan, one that requires me to stand. On the stage or in the street, don't need no microphone or beat. And when you hear this song, if you ain't dead then sing along. Bang and strum to these here drums til you get where you belong.

I got a list of demands written on the palm of my hands. I ball my fist and you're gonna know where I stand. We're living hand to mouth! You wanna be somebody? See somebody? Try and free somebody? I gotta list of demands written on the palm of my hands. I ball my fist and you're gonna know where I stand. We're living hand to mouth! Hand to mouth!

I wrote a song for you today while I was sitting in my room. I jumped up on my bed today and played it on a broom. I didn't think that it would be a song that you would hear, but when I played it in my head, I made you reappear. I wrote a video for it and I acted out each part. Then I took your picture out and taped it to my heart. I've taped you to my heart dear girl, I've taped you to my heart and if you pull away from me you'll tear my life apart..

I got a list of demands written on the palm of my hands. I ball my fist and you're gonna know where I stand. We're living hand to mouth! You wanna be somebody? See somebody? Try and free somebody? I gotta list of demands written on the palm of my hands. I ball my fist and you're gonna know where I stand. We're living hand to mouth! Hand to mouth!

Ecstacy, suffering, Echinacea, bufferin. We aim to remember what we choose to forget. God's just a baby and her diaper is wet.
Call the police! I'm strapped to the teeth and liable to disregard your every belief. Call on the law! I'm fixin' to draw a line between what is and seems and call up a brawl. Call'em up now! 'cause it's about to go pow! I'm standing on the threshold of the ups and the downs. Call up a truce! 'cause I'm about to bust loose. Protect ya neck,'cause, son, I'm breaking out of my noose.

I got a list of demands written on the palm of my hands. I ball my fist and you're gonna know where I stand. We're living hand to mouth! You wanna be somebody? See somebody? Try and free somebody? I gotta list of demands written on the palm of my hands. I ball my fist and you're gonna know where I stand. We're living hand to mouth! Hand to mouth!

Beats whatever I wuz gonna say.

Yup.

Re: Definitions

Media.

Heh.

Wednesday, September 03, 2008

Awww...you came back

Six daze without a post...

This one's 'cause I really like youze!
(make sure you watch at least until 1:15)

Okey - if you lived thru that - here's one to crank the volume up on.

(seriously, it was uploaded with low sound - but it's uber bueno. Promise.)

Now, wasn't that nice?

Yeah, now who loves ya!

Ya. Somebody. That's who.

Tuesday, August 26, 2008

Ooo...more sweet Olympic pics

women's fencing.

Content Pushing The Whatfor...

Please click on the following for improved viewing pleasure.

Near daily awesomeness from this dude here.

Monday, August 25, 2008

I Want!

Another one...but I didn't know I wanted it until it popped up unexpectedly.

A your internets this strong?

Your Internets Are Not Strong!

No. They are not!

(In case you are wondering about the "subtext" of this message, I would like to point out that mine are quite weak as well. I'm almost positive that more roo and bull fights will not change this in the very near future.)

Some Super Fun Olympic Pics

Right here!

Thursday, August 21, 2008

Staring into the Webmonster

A speculation on the nature of those who access the internet

Defining those who access the internet as individual people, there are more than a few different groups, which of course have plenty of overlap. There are the Content Generators, folks who make art, comics, animation, writing, and a million other original mediums. These Content Generators may or may not use the net as their primary medium - it may just be a secondary channel/distribution for their creations. But they are actively making new stuff.

There is some overlap between the Generators and the following group, when it comes to a place like Wikipedia. There, people actively create content, but the content they create is only a compilation of knowledge that is "universally" accepted.

So there are Content Compilers, who are people who gather specific themes of the content generators, and with a small synopsis, highlight what has been created. These folks might also be called Content Pushers, since some of the heaviest traffic flows through them, and out towards the smaller places where Content Generators are working.

And we have the Content Consumers, who are often more than just an audience - altho that is the predominant trait. Everyone on the internet is a member of this group. The consumer is quite an unpredictable beast, because at nearly any point in surfing anything on the web, the consumer can stop and write a response to some post or creation, and become a content generator, or copy the information onto their personal web-space, and become a content pusher...or they could buy something, and become a totally different type of consumer.

I was hoping there would be something more dramatic and insightful in this little post, but that's it. Generating content is extremely satisfying, and the most useful of uses of the internet. But it takes a lot of energy...and finding something someone else has made to read, or watch, or hear, is as easy as moving a finger. Of course, finding something that someone else has created that is actually good...that's a whole 'nother issue.

Tuesday, August 19, 2008

I Want!

I been searching for this for more than a while now.

It has not been a wasted effort.

Monday, August 18, 2008

THE CONTINUING!!

Yes - it's back from a short break! So without further ado, I give you
EXHIBIT "Q!"

And this member of the cow contingency has something to offer with EXHIBIT "R".

Saturday, August 16, 2008

Follow up from the last one

Okey...after this we'll be back to normal fjord programming, I predict roo-vs-cow exhibits will be forthcoming...

So I ran out of time on the last post, and had one further point I wanted to get to. Here's a couple of lines from "Generation of Swine" that struck me.

"The legacy of Ronald Reagan will be different from those of the other three gents in that famous Egyptian photograph...Richard Nixon was a crook, Gerald Ford was a shameless fixer and Jimmy Carter was an awesome bungler who gave once-proud political values like "decency" and "honesty" a bad name."

and there's this...

"Reagan's children must be proud of him. With AIDS and acid rain, there's not much left in the way of life and love and possibilities for these shortchanged children of the 80's. In addition to a huge and terminally crippling national debt, and a shocking realization that your country has slipped to the status of a second-rate power, and that five American dollars will barely buy a cup of coffee in Tokyo, these poor buggers are being flogged every day of their lives with the knowledge that sex is death and rain kills fish and any politician they see on TV is a liar and a fool."

Now, the first bit was pretty dead on, and stands the test of time. The second...well Clinton squared up the "crippling national debt" in a couple of terms, (course a couple terms of Bush Jr. and we're worse off than before) and say what you want, the U.S. hasn't been a "second-rate power" since we got the bomb, and won't be until China decides to call in our debts and every OPEC nation dumps the dollar for the Euro. And I don't know if the problem was ever really solved, but I don't hear about acid rain at all.

But the last line of the second part, "...any politician they see on TV is a liar and a fool." Well, that deserves a little analysis.

There is a consistent theme in conservative politics that is always at the fringes of anything they do. It says government is bad, government doesn't work, and government should be smaller and do less. Now, how does someone accomplish this when there are so many stakeholders in a gargantuan democracy like the U.S.? You destroy anyone who has a belief in the opposite, and parade liars and fools in front of the citizens over and over until people stop listening - and just tune the bastards out. Of course, after years and years of conservative policies the government isn't smaller - it's steadily grown larger and larger, but it sure does do a lot less. (see New Orleans/Katrina)

The success of this movement since Nixon, has been to eliminate the belief that government can do anything for you. It's really good at making well connected people rich, and protecting them from legal reprisals (see Kenneth Lay) but for helping the average shmoe - look somewhere else buddy. Hell, the U.S. public learned that lesson long ago...it's practically instinctual now.

To be fair, far more than half of this change occurred with large numbers of Democratic Senators and Reps, and even a fairly successful 2-term Executive. Why? Well, lets just say lots of those Democrats weren't exactly liberal, and had no problem rolling along with the zeitgeist since it made them and their pals rich. There was one fellow that really upheld a lot of my beliefs and did a lot of good fighting for something close to truth, justice, and the American way. His name was Paul Wellstone, and for a little nerdy goofball he was a bad-ass.

A little while after 9-11 he was killed when his small plane crashed. There was an investigation into the accident, which uncovered no evidence of anything other than some mechanical malfunction. But I often wonder what he would have said and done over the last few years, and how convenient it was for our current crop of leaders (on both sides) that his voice was silenced.

Now, there's no evidence at all for my speculation. But as I mentioned in the last post, at a certain level politics is a game that is played really nasty and really dirty. After all, the D.C. Madam actually gave instructions to her lawyer in case she was found dead of "an apparent suicide," which strangely enough, she was.

So in conclusion, let me ask a simple question.

What are you doing to fight the terrorists?

There's a war on, youknow...

Friday, August 15, 2008

Well now...

I've been reading a Hunter S. Thompson book called "Generation of Swine - Gonzo Papers Vol.2" which is basically a 300 pages of a two to three page ramblings/reports about U.S. politics in (you guessed it) the late 80's. Thrown in are a bunch of crazy things, lotsa booze, gunfire and gambling. Anyway - despite Thompson being on, how shall we say, "the fringe" of polite culture, he appears to be quite well connected and a number of prominent politicos are clearly okay with taking a call from him. But as his writings start touching on the Iran/Contra Scandal, it's interesting how his predictions for the political ramifications never materialized. He considered it very likely George Bush (Sr) would go to jail along with Oliver North and have his political career destroyed, even if he escaped prosecution. Course, we know how that played (and is still playing) out.

But he did bring up a really interesting point, and one that got me thinking. Running for President of the U.S. is the Big Leagues. Like, Hitler was in that league. Stalin was in that League. And at that level, things are played rough and dirty, and it makes me wonder if there's enough people who realize it.
There's a stat in the book that reads:
*Starting with 1968 the Republicans have won four of five Presidential Elections

(Change that with slightly updated figures - *that was written in 87) to six of nine Presidential Elections. That's pretty startling, considering what kind of platforms the conservatives really run on.

But like I said, at that level, stuff is run pretty rough, and one wonders if the Republicans are the only ones who know it. Hell, just scanning through the internets today, I came across this.
It's from the D.C. Madam - instructions as to what to do if she was ever found dead in an apparent suicide attempt. Which she was. She knew what kind of world she was living in...and I'm not even speculating there is a Presidential candidate in her black book of Johns, probly just a bunch of Senators and Reps, and lobbyists, and power-brokers. Nevertheless, ugly and dirty at that level can mean really ugly and really dirty.

I've got a few more ideas from this little book that I might get to later today, but for now, I have to go write a script for a cartoon.

Wednesday, August 13, 2008

Since I can't think of anything else to say

Lemme just say,
"Yeah, I'm watching the Olympics."

Okay, sure, the summer games are never as cool for me as a sports fan, as the winter games...but I don't mind swimming and gymnasts and such.

However, as a quick note to NBC, I would like to point out

I DO NOT WATCH 2-PERSON BEACH VOLLEYBALL EVEN WHEN THERE IS NOTHING ELSE ON!

I know there's something else you could be showing that's actually, yaknow, fun.

Monday, August 11, 2008

More Newz You Can't Use!

So there's this bit thang happnin' in Georgia you've doubtless heard about, but did you know they're also under a full-scale cyber attack?

So a Georgia news site jumped to blogger in order to bypass the information roadblock.

"In a sense," notes Jim Stogdill, "they must be saying 'we can't keep our sites up, but we don't think [Russian hackers] can take down Blogspot, given Google's much better infrastructure and ability to defend it.'"

Weird, huh?

Yes, it's a few days late...

Here's the NEWZ!

38 Venzuelans killed by vampire bat!

"...The common vampire bat, which feeds on mammals' blood, swoops down and generally approaches its sleeping prey on the ground. The bat then makes a small incision with its teeth, and an anticoagulant in its saliva keeps the blood flowing while it drinks the blood. Symptoms of rabies include fever, tingling in the feet followed by paralysis, and an extreme fear of water."

"Extreme fear of water" is a very strange symptom of anything, dontchathink?

Anyhoo - no reports of those killed coming back as undead blood-sucking human-form vampires - but keep yer eyes peeled, yaknow, just in case.

(might wanna get some priest to bless some water in yer joint too.

Wait, scratch that, have a priest bless your faucet - that way all your water will come out holy water! Word!)

P.S. "Anticoagulant" would be an awesome band name.

Sunday, August 10, 2008

Something Else From the Archjives

(from Feb '08)

“Not that I’m hiding or anything,” the voice said through the phone on a connection that made it sound like he was talking through a tin-can.
“But…” I answered slowly, drawing the word out as long a possible.
“There are a few people I’ve learned, who wouldn’t mind inconveniencing me, umm…physically.”
“You’ve got a fucking armored Bentley and two South African special-ops guys on your bodyguard staff. You’re worried about being physically inconvenienced?”
“They’re pretty aware of that, I’m sure.” He replied.
I took about six steps down the wide and nearly empty sidewalk that edged the park near my crappy apartment. My throat had a bunch of crap in it, so I cleared it without apology in my cell, and spat. I finished my thought. “You know what I’m doing right now, yeah? I’m walking home from the drug store with two Miller Lite tall-boys, and I’m about to drink ‘em, and forget my day.”
“I’m sure, however,” The tinny voice said. “I’m in a bind, and I need to ask you to do a thing for me.”
“Why.”
“Because nobody I know, knows I know you.”

That was true enough. The guy was just some dink I’d had a conversation with at a bar, and had stupidly given my card. It wasn’t even the business card from the last gig I’d been fired from. It was the one I’d made up in fun. That just had my name on it in 18 point font, so I could say, “Howdy, I’m Dario Tsunami. Here’s my card.” And it would reiterate in print, simply “Dario Tsunami.” The dink’s name was Walter Bruthers, and he kept on buying me drinks that night, and making pleasant conversation and impressing me with his bar tab and funny stories about important people about town until I happily gave over my real numbers. I didn’t even remember doing it the next day. But a week later it had come back to haunt me.
“Darin, this is Walter.” The conversation had started. “Enjoyed your company the other night, and was wondering if you’d like to swing over for a little thing I’m having tonight?”
“Okay.” I stupidly answered.
“Great! There’s a car outside right now.”
And that’s how I learned about his armored Bentley. His bodyguards, I learned about during a most uncomfortable series of conversations with his other guests at his mansion that night. I was doing my best to overcome the stereotype that it’s not what you do, or what you have, it’s who you are that matters. I failed miserably.

There was something else I was going to show you...

But I can't remember what it is. So instead, I give you...

THIS!

Friday, August 08, 2008

More? Okay!

Thursday, August 07, 2008

Time for sometink cute!

Oooh!

Here's some pretty bitchin' photos of jumbo-jets! (really)

Here We Go Again!

(probly a few more in there...)

DNA tests are to be conducted on the mummified remains of two stillborn children found in the tomb of Tutankhamun.

Yep...Stillborn Mummy Children. Great.

Tuesday, August 05, 2008

Hiya!

I'm busy doing something right now that resembles doing something!

Will be back in a few...when I'm doing something that resembles nothing!

Saturday, August 02, 2008

One from our astounding historical archiveness...

I'm positive this won't make any talking newsmonkey's teleprompters. But seriously, there have been so many causes/excuses/reasons for the drop off in Iraqi violence lately, I think it's only fair to mention that no-one is talking about our anti-terrorist-badger legions, so I'll bring it up again.

original post is here.

(one year ago the munny quote was this:
British forces have denied rumours that they released a plague of ferocious badgers into the Iraqi city of Basra.)

Richard Dawson Is Awesome!

It seems I keep on seeing the name "Richard Dawkins" in the political blogs, and I always think it's Richard Dawson, which is great because it reminds me how awesome Richard Dawson is! Dawkins is apparently some "evolution is bunk" dude, and Dawson is this guy.

And here's a little clip from "Running Man" where he played an evil talk show host.

And here's him bein' a real talk show host.

Agreed?

Friday, August 01, 2008

Once Upon A Friday

Friday laughed. It wasn't a giggle or a chortle, it was a loud boisterous laugh, and we all know that someone's laughter is about as self-identifying as fingerprints. People can "fake" a laugh, like when they're called upon to emote about something that is supposed to be funny, but it really isn't. Yet, no impersonator on the planet takes the time to fake another person's laugh, and actually use it as their own, because they already have their own. Funny stuff usually takes place in an instant, and in that instant, if it really is funny, their own personal vocal reaction to the stimuli known as "funny," occurs.

But when you hear Friday's laugh, it makes you want to laugh too. You don't even think about being clued into the joke, it's just that infectious! Besides, it's a booming laugh that carries right through anything nearby. Hell, it's Friday, and if he's laughing, the fjucking rocks want to laugh with him!

"As if!" Was what the partygoers heard from Friday exclaim beyond the range of the conversation, and between massive laughs.

*The camera zooms in towards a small group gathered around the King of All Weekdays, and catches a smaller mortal looking up to Friday, with amusement of telling the tale that is more successful than he believed it would be.*

"No seriously!" The small man said, seizing his chance..."Then I passed the go-cart that was in the lead with a sneaky pass on the inside, and I was in the clear! Just one final lap, holding off the pack, and I would win the race!"

"Unbelievable!" Said Friday, grabbing a cocktail off a passing waiter's tray, still lost in the amusement of whatever had come before.

"Quite!" Said the small man, "Yet, even the unsportsmanlike tossing of a live lobster onto the go-cart track is not what cost me the race!" The speaker was well aware of the power of his last statement, and decided at that moment to take a long, thirst quenching pull off his beverage, that drained the rest of the glass. He looked around, and snaked his arm though the gathered crowd and placed it on a small end-table holding a Tiffany lamp. He made the motion of miming a steering wheel, and spoke with expressive agitation!

"For in striking the crustacean with my right wheel, I was literally thrown - nay - launched into the air! And I'm sure you're all aware of the slowing of time that occurs in such instances, and I can tell you now, from what I felt of the physics of what had transpired, I assure you after two revolutions in the air, I was actually about to land on four wheels and still be in control of first place!" He made a motion of moving the steering wheel to recover from such an event. "I agree, I may not have been able to control the vehicle after such a landing, but I will never know."

"What do you mean!" Expressed Friday, "You will never know! How does this preposterous story end?!?"

The small man took his hands down from the driving a fast go-cart mime he was creating, and straightened his tie. He looked up at Friday with a wry look and said moving his right index finger in a spinning motion,

"Well, as my vehicle was about to make it's second revolution, bringing me down to the track, a brown pelican, blundered straight into the roll-cage of my flying conveyance, and struck my helmet! Knocking me unconscious in an explosion of feathers!"

"A Pelican!" Laughed Friday. "A Pelican!? My god man, what did you do next!"

The small man had somehow acquired another cocktail, and he lifted a pinkie as he coolly had a sip.

"What did I do next? I woke to find myself completely addled, and upside down in the roll-cage of a go-cart, covered in pelican blood and feathers! Men were busy trying to free me from the seatbelts, and a few moments later I was being examined and questioned by a most lovely woman who was a nurse at the local hospital, who was there to watch her husband in the next race!"

Friday laughed again, showing off his moviestar teeth.
"Well, at least there was a happy ending!"

"Happy!" The small man exclaimed decisively to the negative. "I was too confused from the crash to drive myself home, and my clothes were covered in blood and feathers!"

"So how did you get home?" Asked Friday.

"I walked! Have you ever tried hailing a cab in a bloody chicken suit?" He had another drink of his cocktail, and spoke clearly and slowly. "It. Doesn't. Work."

Happy Friday!

Awesome Earthquake Video!

This is going to make these two FAMOUS!