Move Towards the Light!

"I just know I could get my head straight if someone could just do something about these fucking blinking demonic lamp posts!"

It started off with some floodlights over parking lots, and moved to exterior building lights, and finally every lamp post in the city...randomly shutting on and off. At first it was almost funny, people gathered on the sidewalks in little clumps, heads raised, watching twenty feet above them as the streets fell into total darkness, and then were illuminated again.

Of course, the first thing that was not at all funny was driving. Traffic signals were on the fritz too, and nobody drove anywhere at night if they could help it...but people rapidly adjusted to this reality, and began racing to get things done before darkness fell, and the lighting grid went crazy. In fact, most people (as they were asked later) felt as if they were doing some real living, in fact squeezing the most out of every day. But with the human brain being what it is (naturally super-fjucking curious) the lights just kept on grabbing your attention. A few minutes into watching a teevee show, you'd notice a blinking light outside and look over. You knew what you were going to see before you looked, but you couldn't stop yourself from looking.

"What is going on with those lights?" You'd ask yourself, but you'd also know, just as you asked it, that you were never know the answer. Of course they called the Department of Power, and the City Engineers, and Lighting Maintenance, and what the hell ever branch that had anything at all related to lighting, and not one of them could find an actual problem with the damn things. "There was," they said, "No problem to fix. The city's lighting was operating exactly as it had for 90 years."

This of course was not well received.

The phenomenon was slowly driving people mad. The only recourse was to go home, shut your blinds and curtains, and pretend it wasn't happening. Many people did not have the inclination to do this. During the days, people were test, short, and aggressive to the point of violence.

A few weeks later, some nerd at the local University had arranged for a recon satellite to download a months worth of video of the nightly phenomenon. He ran it thru program after program searching for some sort of pattern...and came across a filter, which produced a rather simple and startling discovery. The City's lighting grid was flashing on and off in a huge signal of binary code. On off, one-zero, projected on a screen with scale of miles. After the discovery, it only took a few seconds to decode. It read simply two words repeating over and over. "Help Me."

This, of course, was not the most settling message to receive from the city's lighting grid, especially with no contex whatsoever. Was it the City asking for help, or was it only the lights that needed it? Was it the electrical grid that had somehow become sentient and beaming this message? Who was the fucking message to!

All of those were good questions, but since then nobody came up with any answers, and the damn thing's still doing it. I sure-as-shit know that it's been getting to me, and I've been acting funny. A few of my friends, Gjod bless 'em, have called me on it...and I wasn't afraid to say it.

"I just know I could get my head straight if someone could just do something about these fucking blinking demonic lamp posts!" And that's when it hit me. I'm that someone!

I took to the streets at night, and my car would have scared any cops who might have pulled me over. Slingshot, speargun, pellet rifle, .22 caliber rifle, .22 caliber target pistol, .32 special, crossbow, double barreled shotgun, baseball bat, all within easy reach. I picked different spots, and slowly, methodically began dealing with the maddening lights. The news picked up on it, and gave me the name, "the Lamp Post Vigilante." As soon as I got some press, others joined the cause, and despite the authorities calling for it to stop, within a matter of days, nearly every external light was smashed.

"Help Me?" Yeah, I'll help you City...buy cutting out your tounge.

Things are much better now, and my friends have noticed. "Lookin' good!" they'd say, and I'd reply "Feelin' good!"

Of course I'm of the firm belief that the City has taken a new medium to transmit its message...the water system! Now I spend hours of the day watching my faucets, wondering how it's transmitting. Sometimes when I'm in the shower, it goes from hot to cold, and back to hot again...I'm not sure what it means. I do know that taking down the city's water system will be a lot harder than breaking a few lights.