FJORD DAYS ARE NOT LIKE "FORD DAYS"

Fjord days to the New Yjear!
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Is yer slate clean?
Is yer slate so full of crap you'd like to wipe it into the vjoid?
Is yer conscious clean?
Is yer launjdry so dirty you can't even bear to look at it?
Is yer mortal coil ready for another year in this Gjodforsaken (preposterously new) millennium?

Are you drunk enough?
Are you sober enough?
Are you drugged enough?
Are you grounded enough?
Are you supplied with enough to help you get through the beginning of another official "calendar orbit" around our sun?

We, speaking officially from the Casa Aloha...the West Coast Branch of Fjord, are privy to a few things...so lemmy drop it on yas.

1) If you have a clean slate, you've either not been living well, or are near Nirvana, and I hate that band.
2) If you have a slate worth wiping into the void, you probly wanna remember what you lived thru...cause that's the coal life's giving you to make diamonds out of.
3) If you have a conscious, you clearly don't have to worry about it being clean...yer already clean.
4) If you have dirty clothes, you need to realize you're doing better than 60% of the rest of the world, and if you can clean them, yer doing better than 80% of the rest of the world. If you haven't gotten to clean them because yer too busy watching the internets or TiVo, or making the world a better place 'cause yer init, well, yer better than 95% of everybody.
5)You know this as well as I...yer mortal coil is ready for anything that's thrown at it, and it'll be fine.

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6)Drunk enough is all a matter of perspective.
7)Sober enough, is a matter of perspective, and willpower.
8)Drugged enough...??? We live in a world of drugs, and if some work for yas, well, good on ya.
9)Grounded? Hah! If you've read anything from Fjord over the last two years and have come back...I'm pretty sure you're grounded as fjuck.
10)You know as well as I, that this new year is just another day. The Sun and the Moon do not use heralds to trumpet in another month, nor another year. Angels and Cherubs do not show up once you've turned another year older. Whatever you've got, will be more than enough to get you the stuff you need to get you thru this next one.

And you know that's all true.