Greetin's From The U.S. of A!!!

So I've taken a little time away from the compooter to do this and that, AND TO KEEP A EVER-FJUCKIN' VIGILANT EYE ON MY BANK! It's called Washington Mutual, or WAMU...and they are a mega-bank...with branches all over the place. (and went crazy with the early 21st Century lending craze (like everybody) and now own billions of dollars of worthless paper) They just had the value of their stock & credit downgraded to "junk" status. Which, I really don't know the actual dollar value of, but it's probably not much. Anywise, nobody knows if they'll get bought-out, or fold taking all their deposits with them as they go under.

Anyhoo - the funny bit is that...I don't have a job, my unemployment insurance is about to run out, (unless the Great Republic of California comes thru! C'mon Cali! I've always loved yoooooooo!) and what little money I have stuck in there, I really do need.

Wait, that's not the funny part.

The funny part is I gots me a financial adviser! Now, he does everything for "free" like, the kind of free where he tries to get me to give him a list of my friends who may "need" financial advising...which is how I got my first financial advisor originally, (from a "friend") who then left...or was fired, and replaced by two strong-armed-financial goons I wouldn't trust with two of my pennies, who were then replaced by my current adviser, who is actually a really cool dude. (and if I hadn't been so put-off by their organizations previous actions of hitting me up for all my friends contact info...well, I'd be more than happy to send him your stuff with the D.T. seal of approval.)

Okay...here's the funny part...he works under the umbrella of AIG, which is an insurance and financial services company. Why is that funny? Well...here's a tidbit from Reuters:

"NEW YORK (Reuters) - An $85 billion government rescue of insurer American International Group Inc looked increasingly likely on Tuesday to stave off a bankruptcy that would have thrown world markets back into turmoil.

The Federal Reserve will extend AIG $85 billion in exchange for a nearly 80 percent stake to bail out the troubled insurance giant, a person briefed on the matter said.
The deal would avoid the biggest corporate bankruptcy ever and follows a government bailout of mortgage lenders Freddie Mac and Fannie Mae just over a week ago."

(bold mine. -duh-)

So anyhoo - to put it bluntly,

this is where I'VE BEEN GETTING MY FINANCIAL ADVICE!

A company that needs an instant $85-BILLION DOLLAR LOAN to keep from collapsing into the biggest corporate bankruptcy ever - AND THROWING WORLD MARKETS INTO A TURMOIL!

Now when you look at the whole of my tale here, you'd have to admit, that's funny.

(and why I'm probably fjuckt)

Craig Ferguson

Always thought there was something appealing 'bout this late nite talkshow host...but he's on teevee a little later than I stay up. Just watched this tho...dang.

(Watch Quick - it'll probly get taken down soon.)
(P.S. Vid is 8:45 long)

All the Mummy News that's Fit to Print!

Oh man, this is too awesome!

BTW - there is no munny quote...it's all munny quotes. The whole dang thing!

But here's a sample:
Now what am I supposed to do? All my shit, the necklaces, that weird lion vase, the gold fucking daggers that I couldn't fucking wait to use, gone. I have nothing to wear. I have nothing to do. I guess I'll just lie here on the floor for the rest of eternity.

***

All kidding aside, if you want to read more about mummies, here's this tale about some Celtic mummies being found IN CHINA! (very long, but interesting...)

Oh, one last thing...

I made last year. Still stands as written.

Dueling...

Am totally in favor, by the way, of settling differences by duel.

As you might remember, I think fjord is the only joint on the internets still pimping this.

However, there are a lot of subtle rules and choices that might change the whole lot of your typical conceptions of what exactly a duel might entail. Like a few examples over here.

So there's this to consider

"The difference between a good day and a bad one is your feeling of having actually done something."

(quote by me, from a pitifully small journal book which I recently started, that is strictly dedicated to ideas that are awesome, or designed to be inspiring.)

Shortly previous to above line,

Quoth the Q-Dog:

"Well, at least you're doing something that resembles something."

I'm sure someone's already thought of this but...

What if the Cern Particle Accelerator actually did destroy the Earth when it got turned on yesterday -but- at the exact same time created an exact duplicate Earth IN ANOTHER DIMENSION!

And in a miraculous event of physics...at the exact moment your physical (we'll call it Earth#1) body was being ripped apart to its component atoms...your consciousness migrated through a tiny wormhole into the other dimension - TO INHABIT YOUR DUPLICATE BODY in Earth#2!

Which, if you're still choosing to follow me on this, means (following to the next logical step) WE ARE NOW THE FIRST TRANS-DIMENSIONAL TRAVELLERS in all of humanity's history!

(that we know of...
man, it'd be weird if Buddha had already been here)


Update #1
But wait - if Earth #2 is an exact duplicate of Earth #1 - then that means there's a Cern smasher here that's just the same...and it's already on! And that means we're already on Earth #3! (or #5 or #37 - what the hell am I - a temporal physicist?) Anyhoo - there's clearly no going back now.


image and a whole lot more cool photos from here.

This is kinda cool

Find out how common your family name is throughout the world.

Huh...so incase you were wondering...

The oldest continuously used lighthouse is the Tower of Hercules. It dates back about 2000 years - from the time of the Romans.

One More Day! ("Refresh the parts that other beers cannot reach")

And humanity's most gargantuan science project will start rolling. Of course there have been some questions (and lawsuits) stating the scientists operating the CERN particle accelerator might cause a black hole that will eat the earth, or cause a strange subatomic reaction that will leave the earth a cold dead lump. But, there are grounds for optimism. (can't recall where I saw this yesterday, but some smart sounding guy said something like), "The odds of this happening are the same odds as you being vaporized while you're shaving."

So take that nay-sayers...

***

I say, nay shout..."ARRR! SET THE CONTROLLS FOR THE HEART OF ALL SUBATOMIC MATTER!"
(Then adjusting eyepatch)
"Roll out the guns!
Hoist the Jolly Rrrrodger!
Preparrr to plundarrr the riches of quantum spaaace!"

***

(I'm positive there are massive Spanish Galleons laden with treasure floating in there...why else would THE SWISS fund the project?
"The project was eventually approved in 1996 at a cost of 2.6bn Swiss Francs.")

Oh - there may be a glitch or two along the way...
"While working on the LHC's predecessor, a machine called the Large-Electron Positron Collider, engineers found two beer bottles wedged into the beam pipe - a deliberate, one-off act of sabotage.

The culprits - who were drinking a particular brand which advertising once claimed would "refresh the parts other beers cannot reach" - were never found."

Here's a fun little article

On how not to be seen.

Any O' you 'member Carson?

He had his moments...

Incase youse gots a little more time on yer hands

You might wanna read/watch this. It's some business with Rage Against the Machine in Minneapolis/St.Paul (where the Republican Convention is going on rite now).

I've never been a Rage fan, but the video is pretty potent...and cool. And if you've got the heart to watch it till the 9:30 mark - it gets crazy awesome.

So take it or leave it - as you will.


If you've left it, here's a nice ditty from a group called the Poster Children.



Side note, in a small L.A. show, Rosie (their bass player) gave me a head-butt from the stage, which was about the highlight of that year for me.

You can find more of their fun stuffs here.

Here's a link to a bonus extra...incase you're still here killin' yer time.

Ah, I don't feel like concoctin' somtin astoundin

Altho U no I kood. Insteed, I'll just copy-n-paste this here 'stonishin' ting I just found.

Might remeber it from here.

I want my money back. I'm down here drowning in your fat. You got me on my knees praying for everything you lack. I ain't afraid of you. I'm just a victim of your fears. You cower in your tower praying that I'll disappear, I got another plan, one that requires me to stand. On the stage or in the street, don't need no microphone or beat. And when you hear this song, if you ain't dead then sing along. Bang and strum to these here drums til you get where you belong.

I got a list of demands written on the palm of my hands. I ball my fist and you're gonna know where I stand. We're living hand to mouth! You wanna be somebody? See somebody? Try and free somebody? I gotta list of demands written on the palm of my hands. I ball my fist and you're gonna know where I stand. We're living hand to mouth! Hand to mouth!

I wrote a song for you today while I was sitting in my room. I jumped up on my bed today and played it on a broom. I didn't think that it would be a song that you would hear, but when I played it in my head, I made you reappear. I wrote a video for it and I acted out each part. Then I took your picture out and taped it to my heart. I've taped you to my heart dear girl, I've taped you to my heart and if you pull away from me you'll tear my life apart..

I got a list of demands written on the palm of my hands. I ball my fist and you're gonna know where I stand. We're living hand to mouth! You wanna be somebody? See somebody? Try and free somebody? I gotta list of demands written on the palm of my hands. I ball my fist and you're gonna know where I stand. We're living hand to mouth! Hand to mouth!

Ecstacy, suffering, Echinacea, bufferin. We aim to remember what we choose to forget. God's just a baby and her diaper is wet.
Call the police! I'm strapped to the teeth and liable to disregard your every belief. Call on the law! I'm fixin' to draw a line between what is and seems and call up a brawl. Call'em up now! 'cause it's about to go pow! I'm standing on the threshold of the ups and the downs. Call up a truce! 'cause I'm about to bust loose. Protect ya neck,'cause, son, I'm breaking out of my noose.

I got a list of demands written on the palm of my hands. I ball my fist and you're gonna know where I stand. We're living hand to mouth! You wanna be somebody? See somebody? Try and free somebody? I gotta list of demands written on the palm of my hands. I ball my fist and you're gonna know where I stand. We're living hand to mouth! Hand to mouth!

Beats whatever I wuz gonna say.

Yup.

Re: Definitions

Media.

Heh.

Awww...you came back

Six daze without a post...

This one's 'cause I really like youze!
(make sure you watch at least until 1:15)



Okey - if you lived thru that - here's one to crank the volume up on.

(seriously, it was uploaded with low sound - but it's uber bueno. Promise.)




Now, wasn't that nice?

Yeah, now who loves ya!

Ya. Somebody. That's who.

Ooo...more sweet Olympic pics

women's fencing.

Content Pushing The Whatfor...

Please click on the following for improved viewing pleasure.



Near daily awesomeness from this dude here.

I Want!

Another one...but I didn't know I wanted it until it popped up unexpectedly.



A your internets this strong?

Your Internets Are Not Strong!

No. They are not!




(In case you are wondering about the "subtext" of this message, I would like to point out that mine are quite weak as well. I'm almost positive that more roo and bull fights will not change this in the very near future.)